


The Moon and Her Eagles

by Seffora



Category: Dragon Age, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-01-05
Updated: 2013-05-13
Packaged: 2017-11-23 19:53:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 36
Words: 76,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/625933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seffora/pseuds/Seffora
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sylina Amell dreamt of adventures outside the tower her whole life. When she is given a chance to become a Grey Warden she jumps at it. She quickly learns about life and love on her journey and that life is not always a fairy tale. AU where Cullen joins party later in game. (This will encompass the entire Dragon Age Origins game) All content belongs to Bioware. A special thank you to my beautiful editor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone, this if my first story, and my first story on AO3 so feel free to leave me feedback.

She didn't remember her life before the Tower. Sylina Amell was sure she had had a mother and a father, but all she remembered was coming to the Tower. She remembered being afraid, she remembered crying countless nights in the apprentice dormitories, and she remembered being told to obey all commands given to her, whether it be from a harrowed mage or a templar.

When Sylina first arrived at Kinloch Hold she was five, one of the youngest apprentices they had ever had. Her family had sensed her magical ability in her early years and had promptly handed her over to the Templars. Life was hard for the little girl - all the other apprentices were older than Sylina and she was always alone. A few of the older mages took pity on her and tried their best to make the girl happy. The First Enchanter was among them.

Over the years, Sylina accepted that the Tower was going to be her life, but that didn't stop her from dreaming of escape. She had so many dreams. Dreams of her family coming to get her, of living away from the Tower, of being told that she was so advanced in her magic that she didn't need to be taught anymore and could live free from the Tower. Sylina was daydreaming constantly, and she often got in trouble for it. She lost count of the times she was disciplined by the older enchanters because she lost concentration during a lesson or was daydreaming during a lecture.

Sylina also spent a lot of her time reading. As soon as she was taught to read she was always found with one in hand. She buried herself in the few novels the Tower possessed. She read them countless times and kept a few under her bed for when she felt lonely. She imagined knights and princesses, dragons and griffons. At night, her dreams were filled with fantasy – sometimes, she dreamed she wasn't a mage, but a noblewoman with countless suitors who wanted nothing but to please her every whim and sometimes she dreamed that she fought in great armies, or explored uncharted territories.

As her childhood slipped away, Sylina became aware of whispers. She would walk down the hall and feel people watching her. She didn't understand why. All her childhood, she had felt safe walking through the halls on her way to the library or lessons. Sylina was always aware of the templars, but she had never had to worry about them. She attended her lessons, practiced her spells, and though she occasionally snuck out of bed for a trip to the kitchens or a late night library visit, she had never done anything that warranted the templars' attention.

But now, it felt like everywhere she went templars were watching her. It frightened her. When she was sixteen, Petra, one of the older apprentices, who was soon to go through her harrowing, pulled Sylina aside in their dormitory.

"Watch yourself Sylina," Petra said in a hurried whisper. Petra had always been nice to Sylina, though she rarely interacted with her since Petra was a more advanced apprentice and not in any of Sylina's lessons. "You're not a child anymore, you're a woman. The templars know that."

"What in the Maker's name are you talking about?" Sylina whispered back, confused. Of course she was a woman. What did that have to do with anything?

Petra looked around to make sure they were not being overheard and simply said, "Keep your head down, don't make trouble, and don't go anywhere alone." Then Petra hurried off, leaving a very confused Sylina standing in the dormitory.

When Sylina told Jowan what Petra had said later in the library, he got very uncomfortable. She nudged him in the ribs and whispered, "What? What do you know that you aren't telling me?"

"Sylina...just follow her advice. Don't go anywhere without me and don't cause trouble." Jowan turned back to his book. Sylina grabbed it and scowled at him.

"I am not a child Jowan! What will happen if I go somewhere alone? Tell me." Her green eyes flashed angrily at him. She had been treated like a baby her entire life in the Tower. Older mages had always treated her like the child they never had. It had spoiled Sylina just a bit.

"I...please Sylina. Just..." he couldn't meet her eyes and looked down at his hands which were clenching and unclenching.

"Hmm, so the littlest mage is finally all grown up?" Anders peered from behind the bookshelf smirking, "And perhaps I am not the only one wanting to discover all the secrets she has been keeping."

"Shut up Anders!" Jowan snapped at the older mage.

Anders moved from the bookshelf and sat down next to Sylina his arms resting on the table as he leaned back, looking completely at ease.

"What are you talking about?" Sylina asked, inching a little bit away from him. Anders had a reputation. Even she knew that.

He chuckled. "Well my beautiful temptress, it is well known throughout this Tower that you are...hm how shall we say it? Untried and untested?" He smirked and moved closer his hand reaching out to touch her long black hair. Sylina jerked away and practically landed in Jowan's lap. Jowan scowled at Anders.

"Go away before we get caught speaking with you and the templars think we are planning to escape." Jowan said glaring at the man.

"I am simply trying to inform our young friend here that if she wishes to change that fact I am more than happy to oblige."

Sylina blushed. Then, gathering her courage, she looked at Anders. "I don't see what...that...has to do with me keeping my head down and not walking around alone."

Anders laughed –  _loudly_ – and the whole library turned to look at them. Sylina buried her head in her arms and wanted to disappear. When he had finished laughing he turned to her. "That, as you so preciously put it, has everything to do with the templars." He looked at her confused face and sighed. His eyes became slightly serious and he leaned in and whispered, "Sylina, the templars do what they want, take what they want, and nobody tells them no."

"What does that have to do with me? I have never had to worry about templars. I don't try to escape every ten minutes like you."

He leaned back and smiled, "Well you should. It is wonderfully exhilarating." He wiggled his eyebrows. "Among other things," he added. Jowan scowled even deeper at him. "But, we aren't talking about that. Well we are, but we are talking about the templars, and you, and how you should be frightened of them."

Sylina sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Please Anders, for once in your life just tell me whatever it is you want to say."

"Okay, you goddess." He looked around, sighed, then leaned in again and whispered in her ear, "The templars will take you. They will do it against your will and no one will stop them."

Sylina's eyes went large and she moved away from Anders. She shook her head. "No. No, you're wrong."

He smiled, though it did not reach his eyes this time. "Do you think you would be the first? Do you think it has not happened to countless apprentices before you, male and female?" He grabbed her arm as she tried to get up. "Sylina it will happen if you are not careful. Templars are not to be trusted."

Sylina pulled her arm from his grasp and stood up. Her breath was short, her heart racing and she felt a cold sweat breaking out all over her body.

"Sylina." Jowan said, but he couldn't meet her eyes. She looked around frantically searching for a way out. The windows were all too high up and small. She turned back to the two men. Anders was looking at her worriedly and started to stand while Jowan continued to stare at his hands. Sylina turned and ran. She thought she heard Anders call after her.


	2. Chapter 2

She ran out of the library. She needed to get back to the dormitory. She needed to get to the safety of her room to. Sylina wasn't looking where she was going – she just  _ran_. Ran around a corner and right into an incredibly hard object. She bounced back and fell back onto the ground, the wind knocked out of her. She closed her eyes as a wave of dizziness overtook her.

"Watch where you are going mage!" She heard a male voice growl at her. "Are you alright, Ser Cullen?"

"Y-yes. I'm fine." Sylina opened her eyes and waited for her vision to clear. Then she saw a hand in front of her face. "Are you alright, miss?" She blinked and looked up at the face attached to the hand. It was a templar. A young templar who couldn't have been more than a few years older than her. He had a small smile on his face along with close cropped dark blonde hair. It looked like he was attempting to grow facial hair around his chin, but failing miserably at it.

But what she noticed were his eyes. They were amber and warm. Most of the templars looked at mages with cold, calculating eyes. But the eyes of this templar were warm and inviting. She put her hand in his and allowed him to help her up. She still felt sick and must have looked a terrible mess after falling on the ground. She could feel the bruises start to form.

"I..." Sylina stopped and drew in a calming breath. What Anders had told her was still fresh in her mind, and now here she was. Alone in the hall with two templars. One of them, the older templar who she knew, was usually found on the senior mages' floor but the second one, this young templar with the warm smile, she had never seen before. She tried to keep herself from shaking. All she wanted to do was reach her room. In one piece, hopefully.

"Mages should not be running. I will have to alert the senior enchanters about this. You will be punished mage." The older templar growled. "Come on, Ser Cullen, we must settle you in before supper."

The younger templar, Ser Cullen, was still looking at her with concern. "Are you...uh...going to be alright?" he asked again. Sylina suddenly realized that her hand was still in his and she snatched it back quickly. She saw a flicker of something – disappointment, maybe – cross his face before it disappeared.

She gathered her wits about her and replied coldly, "I will be fine, thank you Ser."

She moved quickly away from them and down the hall doing her best to walk away without limping.

* * *

"Sylina?" Jowan knocked on the door to the girl's dormitory room. "Sylina are you in there? We have a lesson in five minutes." Jowan slowly opened the door and looked around the dark room. Every room in the tower was slightly dark, mostly because there were never enough windows to let light in. The magical orbs that lit the rooms didn't give nearly enough light – except in the library, where most of the orbs resided. Jowan walked cautiously into the room. If he was caught by a templar or a senior mage in the girl's dormitory room, he would be in huge trouble. After Sylina had run off, Jowan had yelled at Anders for being inconsiderate and had stormed after her. When he had seen two male templars walking down the hall and the older one muttering about insolent mages, Jowan's heart had stopped. Sylina was always one for the rules – well, most of the time anyway. Since she had been such a young apprentice, she had experienced plenty of punishment for stepping outside the line. The first few years she was almost always being hit or yelled at. No running. No shouting. No crying. Practice your spells. Do your studies. Eat your food. Go to sleep.

Jowan had felt bad for her. It was one of the reasons he had started talking to her when they were younger and they had become friends. She was too young to have any friends when she first came to the tower, since most of the apprentices were so much older. She had interacted mostly with the older mages for many years, and they had babied her over many things. Jowan also thought that it was one of the reasons Sylina was so advanced with her magic. The older mages were constantly showing her things that most apprentices didn't learn. Sylina was the favorite. Only last year, the Senior Enchanter had requested to be her mentor. It was a huge honor and Sylina had been so thrilled. She met with the First Enchanter most days and he helped her improve her magic. Jowan was aware that he was jealous of her, but he tried to be supportive all the same.

"Sylina?" Jowan whispered. He made his way over to where he knew her bed was. He saw her lying face down on her bed and even in the dim he saw her shoulders moving and knew she was crying. "Sylina, don't cry." Jowan didn't really know what to say, so he sat down on the bed and patted her shoulder instead.

He knew that rape happened in the tower, to both female and male mages. He had known for years. He had always kept it from Sylina as she was fussed over constantly and, as such, he just never thought she would have to worry about it. Luckily, it had not happened to Jowan and a few of the female apprentices he had heard talking about it said it didn't happen often. But it happened and as Sylina had grown Jowan had realized she might be in a greater danger than most of the female apprentices. Most female apprentices walked around in packs which made them less vulnerable to a single templar, and most templars wouldn't dare try to approach someone surrounded by friends. The problem Sylina had was that she didn't  _have_  many friends. She had Jowan, and sometimes Anders, when he wasn't in solitary confinement for attempting to escape. But Sylina didn't get along with most of the other female apprentices.

They thought her odd and too quiet and Jowan also suspected they were jealous of her.

"I won't let anything happen to you, I promise."

Sylina turned to look at Jowan, his hand was still resting on her shoulder. He looked worried. She sniffled and fought back the tears, "Can you make that promise? Can you promise it will never happen?"

Jowan swallowed and hung his head. "I can try," he said quietly. Sylina felt tears rising again. Was there anyway to protect herself from the templars? Like Anders had said, if they wanted something, they took it.

Jowan patted her back. "Come on," he said, trying to make his voice sound light, "if we are late to our next lesson Senior Enchanter Wynne will skin us and we won't have to worry about the templars." Sylina smiled in spite of herself and got off her bed. She straightened her robes and tried to fix her hair. Her body hurt from falling and she felt sick from crying, but she knew that Jowan was right. She would most certainly be in worse shape if she missed lessons.


	3. Chapter 3

Over the next few months, Sylina was practically Jowan's shadow. She kept her head down and avoided going anywhere alone. She still felt the templars' eyes on her, but nothing happened. She learned that the templar she had run into was a new recruit from Redcliffe, that his name was Cullen, and that he was sympathetic to mages, as the apprentices soon found out. The story that went around about Cullen was that he had found two young apprentices out of bed at night and had let them off with a warning. This was a rarity among the templars in Kinloch Hold and whenever a new templar showed kindness to mages, the story soon found it's way throughout the tower. Of course, Sylina knew that the templars had probably heard the story too and that Ser Cullen had probably been reprimanded, but the story still existed and that gave mages hope.

Sylina was practicing a simple frost spell in the library, under the jurisdiction of Petra, who had recently passed her harrowing and had shown a knack for teaching apprentices. She was supposed to be making her cone of cold larger to encompass the table, which had been cleared for the occasion. Sylina concentrated and started to weave her spell. Then, she sensed movement in the corner of her eye. She felt drawn to it and turned her head. There was Cullen, standing guard of the library. Sylina didn't know why, but seeing him made her shiver and then she heard a curt, "Pay attention Sylina!" She quickly turned back to her spell which had gone slightly out of control and was extending to some of the bookshelves. She quickly dropped it and looked down at her hands.

"I'm sorry Petra," she said meekly.

"If you had been paying attention this wouldn't have happened." Petra walked over to the bookshelf and grabbed a pile of books that had been damaged by the frost. "Come now help me dry everything off before it's ruined."

"Of course." Sylina quickly used her magic to restore the table to its original condition. She then walked to the bookshelf and started to grab frost bitten books. She was reaching for one of the books on the higher shelves that had taken damage when an armored arm appeared and grabbed the book. Sylina gasped and recoiled.

"I...I'm sorry." She turned to see Ser Cullen holding out the book. He was blushing red and looked like he wanted to sink into the floor. "I didn't mean to...um...to startle you." He handed her the book and Sylina grabbed it.

Sylina had specifically avoided Cullen since the day she ran into him. He had been kind to her and had warm eyes, but she didn't believe for a second that he wasn't like every other templar. And that he had shown such interest in her the first day made her even more wary of him. "Thank you, but I did not require assistance," she said curtly, turning to the table to continue drying the books. She saw Petra give her a glance, but didn't say anything.

"Oh...uh...of course. I apologize. I simply...I just wanted to help." She heard Cullen shift his feet. "I'll..um...be over at my post then." Sylina ignored him as she continued to dry the books and heard him walk off.

Petra sighed. "Well that was rude," she said not looking up from her book drying.

"Did you expect me to be  _nice_? He is a templar. I am a mage. And I did not ask for his help. He just butted in where he was not wanted." Sylina made an annoyed sound in her throat and gathered the last of the books off the shelf that had frost damage.

Petra looked up at her. "Sylina, don't burn bridges just because there are templars on them. We need templars as much as they need us..."

"So not much then." Sylina shot at her. Petra rolled her eyes.

"All I am saying is that Ser Cullen is one of the few decent templars I have ever met. And it would be in your benefit to be nice to him."

"In my benefit? What do you mean?"

Petra raised her eyebrows. "I mean that it has not escaped my notice that you took my advice a few months ago to heart and that it hasn't escaped the templars' notice either." She sighed and touched Sylina's hand. Sylina stopped drying books and looked at her. "You are beautiful Sylina. You can not escape that. And as much as a blessing as it is, it is also a curse. Jowan can only protect you so far. Eventually..." she stopped and looked down at the books. "I have always admired your strong will. You entered the tower as a mere baby and yet you have never tried to be other than you are. You are a mage, and a good mage at that. There are not many in this tower with the potential you have. I would hate to see that ripped away because of a man." Petra got up and came over to Sylina. She put her hands on her shoulders and looked into Sylina's eyes. "I wish there was a way to protect you. To make sure that evil never touched your life. But it will and you must be ready for that. Arm yourself with what you have. And make allies where you can. Sometimes they will be the only thing standing between you and defeat."

Petra squeezed Sylina's shoulders and dropped her hands. "I think you have had enough lessons for today. We will resume tomorrow." Sylina nodded and watched Petra make her way to the stairs and head to the mages quarters. She sat down at the table and buried her head in her hands.

Every day, Sylina had worried that the templars would find her alone and hurt her. Every day, she had hung onto Jowan or anyone else to make sure she wasn't alone. At night, she had nightmares of unknown men forcing her down and doing countless horrors. She didn't understand why. She knew she was beautiful, but that didn't mean anything to her. Her beauty had never helped her before. It had never helped her practice her spells or succeed at lessons. She knew some of the apprentices her age resented her for it and that some of the older male and female mages looked at her admiringly, but it had not affected her until Petra's warning came a few months ago. Now everywhere she went she worried that a templar would corner her and that she would be powerless to stop them. It was never far from her mind and she wondered whether she would ever go back to the careless daydreaming she had done as a child.

Sylina stood up and started putting the books back on the shelf. But now Petra was telling her she could have allies? And from the sound of it, this templar Cullen could be one.  _Why?_  Sylina thought.  _Why would he be an ally? Just because he is nice? He is still a templar and he is still a man._  Everything she had found out since Petra's warning had affirmed that templars were not friends and that men were a worry to any woman. She sighed. So she should be nice to templars? And hope that by doing so they will be less likely to hurt her? Sylina shook her head. It made no sense to her, but it was worth a try.

She finished putting the books away and looked around. It was the first time in months she had been without Jowan. He was no doubt happy about this. Sylina saw Cullen standing at his post by the library doors. She took a deep breath to steady herself and walked over to him.

"Hello Ser Cullen," she said, forcing a smile on her face. Cullen immediately stiffened and blushed. Standing near him she realized he was much taller and bigger than her and her heart started beating faster. She suddenly became nervous, slightly regretting her idea. Sylina decided to finish what she wanted to say before she lost her nerve. "I wanted to thank you for earlier. I am sorry if I seemed rude," Sylina quickly said and started backing away almost if by reflex.

Cullen simply stared at her. His mouth opened but no sound came out and Sylina wondered if she was even allowed to talk to templars while they were on duty.

"I'm sorry. I'll just go now now." She quickly turned and walked away. Maker, what was wrong with her. Just because the man had helped her grab a book did not mean she had the right to talk to him.  _He is a templar, Sylina, remember this!_  Her heart was in her throat and she practically stumbled out of the library. She was an idiot.  _He could be no ally,_  she thought.

She came out of the library and headed for the girl's dormitory. She walked quickly down the hallway and saw a templar walking toward her. She lowered her head and went to walk by him. Suddenly she felt a gauntleted hand grab her arm. Her heart beat rapidly and she turned toward the templar to look up into his face. It was a man she knew patrolled the apprentices quarters regularly. His name was Pod. He leered at her. "Well, well what's this? Finally decided to come visit me have you?" He dragged her closer to him and Sylina froze.

She should've screamed, should've run. Her arm was hurting where he was grabbing her. She should have gotten angry and yelled at him, but instead all she could muster was a whispered plea. "Please," she muttered, trying to pull her arm out of his grasp. He laughed and moved her against the wall. He glanced up and down the hall then blocked her in.

"Mmm I like it when you say that," he whispered in her ear. She was mortified. How could she be so stupid as to leave the library without anyone? His hand trailed up her side while his other hand rested on the wall at her head. She couldn't look at him. She felt tears forming in her eyes.  _If I shout, would anyone even come?_  she thought.

His hand at her side moved down to her hip. He grabbed her hip and pushed her further back into the wall, his body inches from her. She could feel him smiling at her, but she continued to stare down at the Templar sign on his armor. Would Andraste approve of this treatment of mages? Sylina had always thought Andraste was sympathetic to mages, but if her templars treated mages this way and went unpunished then maybe this was the Maker's will. Pod grabbed her skirt and started to pull up, his other hand moving to stroke her hair. She let out strangled cry from her throat and moved her hand to grab his. She tried to push his hand down, but it was stronger and continued to lift her skirts. "Please," she whispered again. "Please...don't."

His body was against her and his hand grabbed her chin pulling her up to look at him. He was lowering his head when Sylina heard the clink of armor. Pod snapped his head in the direction of where the noise came from. Sylina's heart was in her throat and she wondered if she would be saved.

"Oh...I didn't mean to disturb." Sylina heard Cullen's voice and she stopped breathing. Pod moved back a bit and she turned to see him. He was standing in the hallway and he was blushing red, but as soon as his eyes caught hers they went wide in shock and his mouth opened. Then he snapped his head back to Pod and his eyes hardened. "What are you doing with that apprentice!?" He shouted moving toward them.

Pod stepped back and faced Cullen, "Nothing you wouldn't want to do yourself. Why don't you leave us be, boy?"

Cullen stammered and glanced at Sylina. She imagined her tear stricken face told him that she didn't want to be there. Pod stepped in front of her. "Now move along before I get angry," Pod threatened.

A sob broke through Sylina's lips at the thought that Cullen might just leave. She heard a sword leaving its scabbard. "I am not going anywhere. Let the girl go and the Chantry will judge your crimes against the Order." Cullen's voice was barely containing his anger. Pod moved, and Sylina saw him reach for his sword.

"It's going to be this way then, boy? You want the tramp for yourself, not willing to share? Well it's about time someone showed you what the Order stands for."

Pod rushed Cullen and their swords met. Sylina should have ran but she felt rooted to the spot. She was frozen as she watched the two men fight. Pod and Cullen were the same size, but Pod obviously had more experience. Sylina knew nothing of sword fighting and to her it looked like the two men were dancing. Each trying to move where the other wasn't expecting them. Finally Cullen kicked out, foot meeting torso, and Pod went down to his knees. "Surender." Cullen slanted his sword at the man's throat. Pod spit out blood and nodded, his sword dropping. Cullen kicked the man's sword away from him and stepped back.

Sylina felt relief spill through her and she sank to the ground. Cullen looked over her and worry crossed his face. She closed her eyes, her breath finally coming back. She hadn't realized that she had been holding it throughout the whole fight. When she opened her eyes, Cullen was leaning down in front of her. "Are you alright? Did he hurt you?" Cullen's hand came up to her face and she looked into his eyes. They were full of concern for her. She nodded absently and then saw a flicker of motion. She turned and saw Pod getting up a dagger in his hand. A scream formed on her lips. Pod's face was murderous. He was running towards them and Sylina reacted. She brought her hands up and a fireball formed. Cullen jumped back and the fireball hit Pod square in the chest. He fell to the floor, dead.


	4. Chapter 4

Sylina was gasping for breath and suddenly there was too much noise around her. There were a thousand voices and they were all screaming and there was a buzzing in her ear. She looked around, but everything looked fake. None of it was real, surely. Cullen was at her side asking her something, but she had no idea what it was. She saw templars moving onto the scene and mages being hurried away and she continued to sit on the floor. Her brain was blank. She didn't know what had happened. Had she just killed a templar? Was she going to be executed? Why hadn't she already been killed? Sylina looked around and found Cullen. His eyes were so wide, so full of worry but so full of relief at the same time.

She blinked at him. "Cullen?" she asked. "What...what happened?"

He shook his head and then a curt voice asked something Sylina didn't catch. Cullen nodded and moved. He put one arm under her knees and the other around her back and picked her up. Sylina gasped and tried to push away. Cullen made a soothing noise. "Shh, I am taking you to your dormitory. You need to rest." Sylina nodded because she felt incredibly tired. Cullen carried her down the rest of the hall to the dormitory. He walked in and put her on her bed. Sylina wondered absently how he knew which one was hers, but didn't ask. She found that she didn't have the strength to say anything. She wanted to ask Cullen what would happen to her or why he had been walking down the hallway since he was supposed to be on guard duty at the library. She was so full of questions and yet none of them would come to her lips.

Cullen went to move from her bed and Sylina grabbed his robe. He stopped and turned back toward her. "Please." She felt tears well up in her eyes and Cullen bent down to the bed. "Don't...leave." She felt ashamed for asking, but she was too afraid to be left alone.

Cullen nodded, "I'm not going anywhere Sylina, I promise. Knight-Commander Greagoir told me to watch over you and make sure nothing happened. I won't let you be bothered." His eyes were so earnest and Sylina could do nothing but nod, the tears falling down her face. Cullen moved his hand to her face, then he looked at his gauntlet and pulled it off. He wiped the tears from her face with his bare hand. She felt the calloused warm hand and she leaned into it. Cullen was so warm, his eyes, his hands, even his voice made her feel warm. She nodded and thought,  _Yes, Cullen is from a warm place and that is why he is warm and all the other templars are from cold, horrible places and that is why they are cold and horrible._  In her delirious mind this made sense and, with these thoughts floating in her mind, she found herself falling asleep, aware of Cullen's warmth nearby.

* * *

Cullen sighed when Sylina had finally fallen asleep and regretfully stood up and moved away from her bed. He pulled his hand through his hair and then pulled on his gauntlet. He looked down at the beautiful woman now sleeping soundly. He smiled. Maker, she would be the death of him. Ever since she had run into him, he had scarcely gone a day without thinking about her. Whenever he saw her on his shift his heart would race and he would have to remind himself that she was a mage and he a templar. This wasn't allowed.

Then when she had been so cold to him earlier he had reprimanded himself and told himself that from now on he would leave her alone. It would be better for both of them. She obviously didn't feel the same about him and he should let her be.

But, of course, Sylina had proven him wrong. Her kind words and smile had disarmed him and he hadn't known how to respond. By the time she was moving away he realized what a fool he had been. She most likely thought he hated her or did not want to talk to her. He had beat himself up for a few minutes over his stupidity then realized he couldn't leave it at that. He had hailed a templar and asked him to watch his post for a few minutes and had gone after Sylina.

When he had found her with Pod, Cullen had felt sick. For a split second he thought this was what she wanted, until he saw her face. Tears running down her cheeks and fear in her beautiful round green eyes. He had felt furious that this man would dare to hurt something so wonderful. He had acted rashly, he knew that. But he had never expected Pod to try to kill him when his back was turned. And now Sylina was sleeping while the First Enchanter and the Knight-Commander decided what to do. She had killed a templar, but she had done it not only in self-defense, but to defend Cullen as well. Cullen had briefed both the First Enchanter and the Knight-Commander about what had happened when they appeared at the scene while Sylina was out. They had both looked grim. Cullen was hoping they would be fair and just. He sighed. Perhaps that was simply wishful thinking.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are a few short chapters in the beginning before I decided to make all chapters between 2,000-3,000 characters. Hope you're enjoying it.

The next morning, Sylina was brought before Knight-Commander Greagoir and First Enchanter Irving and her side of the story was told. She cried and told them that if it hadn't been for Cullen, she didn't know what Pod would have done. Greagoir was hard and told her that she was accused of killing a templar. Irving bickered with him saying that it was not only in her own defense but in the defense of another templar. Sylina sat there quietly, listening to them argue. Eventually, it was decided that she could keep her life, but if she ever stepped out of line again that would be it. Sylina nodded and said she would always remain loyal to the Circle and the Chantry.

Over the next year, Sylina kept her head low and did whatever was told of her. She attended her lessons and practiced her spells. She stayed away from templars and they ignored her. She wasn't sure what had happened, but suddenly the eyes stopped watching her pass and she didn't have to worry about being alone.

Sylina couldn't deny to herself that she felt a certain warmth towards Cullen after what had happened. Whenever she saw him on duty or walking by she smiled warmly at him. He would blush slightly and smile back. They rarely talked, but, occasionally, when Cullen was on duty late in the afternoon in the library, Sylina would head there. By that time, most of the mages were in their rooms and apprentices were using the downtime to socialize. She would sit at one of the tables and pretend to read while she watched him.

As soon as Cullen would notice her, he would shuffle his feet and look nervous. This always amused Sylina greatly. It was nice to see that she had such an effect on him. Cullen would glance at her and she would smile widely. He would quickly look away but the corner of his lips always curved into a smile. And so this became a routine for them. And every night before she would go back to her dormitory Sylina would walk by Cullen and say, "Have a good evening, Ser." When she first did this Cullen stuttered and blushed. The next time and then on he would reply, "You as well, Miss."

Sylina was sitting in the library with Jowan. He was complaining about an assignment given to him by one of the senior enchanters and she was drifting off. She found herself daydreaming about Cullen lately. He was always a little nervous around her and she found that she liked to tease him in her mind. She would never have the guts to actually do many of the things they did in her mind, but she enjoyed imagining his reaction. She heard a cough behind her and turned. "First Enchanter." Sylina got up and Jowan did the same.

First Enchanter Irving chuckled, "Please, child, there is no need to be startled." He glanced at Jowan who made a quick excuse about leaving something in his room and scurried off. Irving shook his head after the younger man. "Well, now, what were you studying?" His eyes twinkled and Sylina had the impression he knew she had not been studying.

Sylina sank down onto the bench and Irving sat next to her, "I was...I was just daydreaming, First Enchanter." She couldn't lie to the First Enchanter. He had vouched for her when the incident had happened last year and since then she had met with him three times a week to work on her spells.

"Daydreaming, hm?" He chuckled again and Sylina blushed and looked at her hands, "Oh, don't worry, child, there is nothing wrong with a little daydreaming." He paused and looked at her, "Tell me, is the Tower not exciting enough for you?" He wore a small smile on his face when Sylina looked up at him.

"It's not that Ser, really. The Tower is my home. I am...I am fine here." She hesitated.

"But you would prefer a life where you may be able to use your abilities?" Irving patted Sylina on the back. "That is perfectly natural, child. Every mage goes through this, you are advancing and now perhaps you wish to experience more than this place can give you?" Sylina nodded. "When you are a harrowed mage, perhaps we can find you something to do outside the Tower." Irving smiled at her again and Sylina blushed.

"That would be...that would be amazing, Ser."

"Well then, I shall keep it in mind." He gave her a final pat and got up. Before he left he turned to Sylina. "You have come far child and I see a bright future ahead of you." Then he walked out of the library.

* * *

Over the next year Sylina's studies became grueling. She was preparing for her Harrowing and as the day drew nearer Sylina felt more alone. Jowan had all by disappeared, she rarely saw him and she thought it was because he was jealous that she was preparing for her Harrowing and he was not. Sylina didn't understand that, Jowan was older than her, yet her Harrowing would be before his. Not that she had time to think about these things. She was so worried about her Harrowing. No one would tell her what it entailed and she couldn't help thinking it would be horrific. So many apprentices failed their Harrowing and never returned. What if that ended up being her?

A week before her Harrowing, Sylina was in the library reading over casting blizzard spells, which were too powerful for her to cast as an apprentice, but with luck she could cast them during her Harrowing to protect herself. The evening bell rang which meant everyone should be in bed. Sylina groaned. She had a few more sections in the tome that she wanted to get through. She made a quick look around and continued reading. She would finish this tome before bed.

"Miss you should be in your dormitory." Sylina jumped and looked behind her. Cullen was standing there shifting his feet.

She couldn't help but smile at him, "Ok Ser Cullen, I just need to read one more section of this tome then I will go to bed." She turned back to the tome. She heard Cullen shift again his armor creaking.

"Miss I'm sorry, but if you were found out of bed this close to your Harrowing..." She glanced at him and he looked down at his feet.

Sylina sighed, "Fine." She closed the tome and rose to put it back on the shelf, Cullen's hand reached out and took the tome from her. She turned to him. "I am perfectly capable of putting the book back on the shelf Ser."

Cullen held the tome and blushed, "I...uh...I know Miss, I just..."

"Wanted to help?" Sylina grinned at him remembering the time in the library a few years ago. Cullen shifted his feet uncomfortable again.

"I thought, that, um, perhaps if you returned the book first thing in the morning...you might take it with you." Sylina's mouth dropped open. Books were never allowed to be taken by apprentices, she had gotten in trouble for that more times than she can count.

Sylina's hands reached out to take the tome back, but Cullen tightened his grip on it. Her brow furrowed. "But you just said..."

"I...would like..." He blushed looking at the ground and Sylina couldn't help the smile that formed on her lips, "I wish to walk you to your room Miss." He said hurriedly almost as if he would lose courage.

Sylina's smile turned into an amused grin. Why was this templar so adorable to her? "Of course Ser. I wouldn't want to be caught walking around alone after the evening bell after all." Cullen nodded and Sylina started walking away. She heard him following her and soon he was walking at her side. She smiled up at him. They walked in silence all the way back to her dormitory. Cullen held the tome tightly and occasionally cast her quick glances.

When they got to the door Sylina turned to him. She held her hands out to receive the tome. Cullen looked at her and she gasped at the emotions crossing his amber eyes. The one she noticed most was longing, but sadness and guilt were also there.

Taking a deep breath Sylina crossed the distance between them. She took the tome with her hands and reached up on her toes to kiss Cullen on the cheek. He froze and she pulled the tome away from him. Taking a step back she smiled at him, "Have a good evening, Ser." She whispered and turned to go into her room. When the door was closed Cullen stood rooted to the spot, then with a small smile he whispered, "You as well, Miss."


	6. Chapter 6

Sylina felt sick on the night of her Harrowing as she walked up the stairs with a templar guard. He had woken her up in the middle of the night and she had almost screamed before he put his hand over her mouth. He had said, "It's time," and she had nodded and followed him. She had been expecting this. She knew apprentices were taken in the night to complete their Harrowing. She suspected it was so that they could not prepare or so that they did not know the exact day it would be held. The templar wore his helmet so she didn't know who he was. She figured this must be ritualistic since most of the templars in the tower didn't wear their helmets. It was easier for them to see and react without the hunk of metal on their head. Sylina's stomach clenched as they reached the door to the Harrowing chamber and the unknown templar opened it for her. She looked back once before climbing the stairs.

Upon entering the chamber she was surprised by the glass windows in the huge room. She suspected it was one of the biggest rooms in the tower. Most of the windows in the tower were small, but these stained glass windows encompassed the entirety of the chamber. It was rather beautiful. She saw Irving and Greagoir standing near the middle of the room and she headed toward them. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Cullen standing with other templars. She suppressed a small smile, trying to hide her happiness at him being there. Her nerves were threatening to get the better of her and she was practically shaking.

Greagoir walked over to her with a stern expression. "'Magic exists to serve man, and never to rule over him,'" he quoted from the Chant of Light. Sylina almost laughed she felt so nervous. Was she here to be lectured on the Chant of Light? Greagoir continued, "Thus spoke the prophet Andraste as she cast down the Tevinter Imperium, ruled by mages who had brought the world to the edge of ruin."

 _Ugh,_  Sylina thought,  _this can't be happening. I have trained for a year to listen to a sermon from a man that despises me._

"Your magic is a gift, but it is also a curse, for demons of the dream realm, the Fade, are drawn to you, and seek to use you as a gateway into this world." Sylina fought back the urge to roll her eyes. Perhaps this was just part of the ceremony as hopefully every mage that made it this far knew all that already.

She turned as Irving began to speak, "The Harrowing exists to prevent that from happening, child. The ritual sends you into the Fade, and there you will face a demon, armed with only your will." He walked to her side.

Sylina was speechless for a second. She was going into the Fade! To face a demon! Was she ready for this? Irving obviously expected her to say something. She gathered the last of her courage and took a deep breath. She reassured herself that she had been trained for this her whole life and she would never let Irving down. "I have been ready for a year First Enchanter." She said hoping her voice didn't shake.

She heard Greagoir make an annoyed sound in his throat and turned to him, her green eyes flashing angrily. "Know this apprentice," he practically growled at her, "if you fail, we templars will perform our duty. You will die." His voice stayed neutral, but she wondered if he was secretly wishing for her to fail.

He pointed at a pedestal in the center of the room. "This pedestal contains lyrium: the very essence of magic and your gateway in the Fade." Sylina stared at it then looked incredulously at Greagoir. She knew mages could go into the Fade with lyrium. She should have seen this coming, but she had not.

Irving put his hand on her shoulder and she looked back at him, "We keep the Harrowing a secret out of necessity, child. Every mage before you and every mage after you will go through this trial. As we have succeeded, so shall you." He lowered his voice and whispered to her, "Keep your wits about you and remember that the Fade is a realm of dreams. The spirits may rule it, but only your own will is real."

Greagoir, seeing him whisper, raised his voice: "The apprentice must go through this test alone, First Enchanter," he said in warning. Sylina glared at the templar. He truly wished for her to fail - she saw it in his eyes.

 _So,_  she thought,  _he has never forgiven me for the death of his templar three years ago_. Greagoir pointed at the lyrium pedestal and said with a frown: "Begin your Harrowing." Sylina turned to look at the pedestal. She started walking toward it. To her left she saw Cullen shifting nervously. She smiled in spite of herself. Somehow his presence made her feel more confident.

She reached the middle of the room and looked down into the swirling blue liquid. It was beautiful. She felt her nerves reach a high pitch as she put her hand over it. The lyrium reached out to her hand and engulfed it. She tried to jump back, but was rooted to the spot. Her heart was in her throat. She looked at her glowing blue hand and felt like she might faint. What was this? She had never heard of lyrium doing this. Was it enchanted?  _Of course it is, you idiot,_  she thought. Her last thought before she fainted was that she was going to die.


	7. Chapter 7

Sylina opened her eyes to find herself in a strange place indeed. "This must be the Fade," she thought to herself, and was surprised that it came out of her mouth. "Hmm, seems what I think is said here. Great." She looked around. An empty pedestal was next to her and everything around her seemed fuzzy. When she focused on one thing it looked clearer, but everything else's edges were blurred. "Ugh, this will make me sick." She decided to only focus on the land in front of her. "Well, I better go find this demon and be done with this."

There was a large statue in front of her with two blades and two horns. "How interesting," she thought/said. She walked to the right of it down a small path. "I wonder if the statue represents a demon?" Walking down the path she saw a bright blue-ish light ahead of her. She was instantly on her guard. Suddenly it attacked her with lightning. She sprang into action and rolled out of the way, the lightning missing her. She threw a fireball at the wisp and then an arcane bolt. Both hit the wisp and it faded out of being. She breathed easier and continued to walk down the path. "Okay," she thought, "glowing lights are wisps. Remember you read about them a hundred times in your lessons on Fade creatures." She sighed. "Keep your wits about you, Sylina. You can do this."

She continued down the path, killing several more wisps this time and attacking them before they had a chance to throw lightning at her. She was walking down the path when suddenly she heard a voice.

It sighed, "Another helpless apprentice thrown to the wolves by the templars, always as fresh and unprepared as before." Sylina started and looked around before she saw movement at her feet. She looked down at a mouse. "The templars have no right to do this. Not to you, not to anyone!" The mouse's voice sounded angry.

Sylina couldn't help but smile, "A mouse? A talking mouse?" she laughed. "Well, the Fade is full of surprises."

He laughed right back at her. "You think you exist here in that body? You only look human because you think you look human." The little mouse sighed. "This always ends the same. It's not your fault. You are in the same boat as everyone before you, even me." Suddenly there was a light around the mouse and he turned into a man. Sylina jumped back and shook her head. The man/mouse continued. "Welcome to the Fade. Call me Mouse."

Sylina cocked her head to the side. "So you took the Harrowing? And by the fact that you are still here and not in the Tower you failed?"

Mouse pinched the bridge of his nose. "I don't remember much about the time before. I remember being woken up in the middle of the night and dragged up the stairs to the Harrowing chamber." Sylina nodded as this had just happened to her. "What you don't know is that the templars kill you if you take too long. They figure that you failed and they don't want something getting out."

He sighed. "That's what they did to me." He looked at her and sadness filled his eyes. "You don't have much time before the same thing happens to you."

"How long do I have?" She was starting to get worried. She hadn't been in the Fade long, but still - how did time in the Fade work in relation to time in the Tower? She felt her nervousness increase.

"I don't know how long you have. I ran and hid for I don't know how long."

Sylina breathed a sigh of relief. "Well, I don't plan on hiding so that won't happen to me."

A spark of anger filled Mouse. "You don't think I have heard those words before. You don't realize the danger." His voice dropped low to almost a whisper. "There is something here, something contained, waiting for apprentices like you. The only way to pass is to face the creature and resist it...if you can."

Sylina sighed. "Now you are just being dramatic."

He raised his voice again: "It's the only way out! It's a test for you. Either you pass or the templars kill you."

"Okay, well, since I have a limited time, why don't I just go face the thing and be done. This test doesn't seem so difficult so far." She was actually breathing easier now than she had since entering the Fade. All she had to do was resist a demon, which she prayed to the Maker she could, and then she would be a full mage.

The man, Mouse, sneered at her, "You are a fool to think this will be easy. The demon you face is powerful and cunning." He stopped, sighed, and continued: "There are others here, of course, other spirits and demons. They might be able to tell you more or help you. This is, of course, only if you believe a word they say."

"Great." Sylina started walking down the path and was surprised that Mouse followed her.

"I will follow, if that's alright with you. I had my chance long ago, but...but maybe you will get out." He promptly turned back into a mouse and Sylina sighed.

"Find the demon and resist or slay it. Got it." She was determined not to think about what could happen. If she remained confident then perhaps she couldn't fail.

They walked down the path until they came to a large area. Mouse whispered, "That is where the test takes place. The creature could be anywhere, but it will show up there."

Sylina walked into the center of the area, but nothing happened. "I suppose I will have to explore more." She left the area and headed down a different path.

As her and Mouse headed down the path, she killed several wisps and Mouse cowered beside her. Suddenly, they came to another clearing with a spirit standing in the center. Sylina knew he was a spirit because he glowed a pale white. She had learned that spirits glowed and demons looked solid and had a purple aura around them. She walked up to the spirit and she heard Mouse squeak in fright and whisper, "This spirit never seemed to live up to its name to me."

"Hello, spirit," Sylina said as she approached it.

The spirit's voice resounded through her and she took a step back, surprised at how loud it sounded. "Another mortal thrown into the flames and left to burn, I see." She noticed on close inspection that this spirit wore templar armor. "Your mages have devised a cowardly test. Better you were pitted against each other to prove your mettle with skill, than to be sent unarmed against a demon."

Sylina groaned; this spirit was obviously misinformed. "Why would we wish to pit mages against mages? That would only prove to the templars that we are dangerous. We are not warriors who can choose when to deliver the final killing blow. One spell awry and half the Tower floor could be in flames."

"They have you battle a demon. That you remain means you have not defeated your hunter. I wish you a glorious battle to come."

Looking at the templar armor she asked, "What kind of spirit are you?"

"I am Valor, a warrior spirit. I hone my weapons in search of the perfect expression of combat."

"Combat, huh? Perhaps you could help me defeat the demon?" Sylina smiled at the spirit.

"You are not the first mortal to seek my aid." The spirit's voice turned cold. "However, I am not here to assist you. My purpose is to create the ultimate weapon for the pursuit of valor."

"A weapon that could affect a demon?" she asked innocently.

The spirit did not even hesitate. "In this realm, everything that exists is the expression of thought. These blades are not steel, these staves are not wood," the spirit said, motioning to the weapon racks behind him that Sylina only just noticed as they came into focus. "Do you believe weapons in this realm draw blood? Weapons are needed for battle, and my will makes that need reality." He paused then, looking critically at her, continued. "Do you truly desire one of my weapons? I will give one to you, if you agree to duel me. Valor shall test your mettle as it should be tested."

Sylina stepped back. "Duel a spirit? Isn't that kind of exactly what I shouldn't be doing? I should be fighting demons, not spirits." She looked at the templar spirit. "What are the rules to this duel?"

"If I believe you capable of slaying the demon, I will stop the duel and give you the staff. If I find you unworthy, I will slay you. Simple enough rules for a mortal to remember."

"Oh, great." Sylina hesitated. "Well, I guess if I am unworthy to kill the demon I will die either way, huh? Either by your hand, the templars, or the demon itself. Fine, I agree to this duel, spirit."

The spirit bowed his head, "As you wish, mortal. Our duel begins now! Fight with Valor!" Then he unsheathed his sword. Sylina backed away.

She immediately threw an arcane bolt at the templar spirit. Then, summoning ice, she cast a simple frost spell on him. It slowed down the spirit and she was able to back away. She felt her mana drop after her two spells had been cast. She cast another arcane bolt. The spirit faltered and stopped.

"Enough," he said, stopping and putting up his hands. Sylina breathed a sigh of relief.

"Well, that was easier than expected. He didn't even come close to touching me." She smiled.

"Your strength is sufficient to the task. The staff is yours." He walked back to his armor stands and selected a staff. He handed it to her.

"Thank you, spirit," she said, grinning widely. "Taking on spirits and demons in one day - what could possibly go wrong?"

"May you find glory in all your achievements, mortal," the spirit said as Sylina walked away.

She grinned at Mouse, who scoffed as they followed another path.

Down the path she fought several wolves. As she neared a new clearing, Mouse spoke. "There is another spirit here. It is not the one hunting you, but it is still dangerous." She walked into the clearing to see a large, bear-like animal with spikes on its body.

"Perhaps I should go back?" But somehow she knew the demon would not be waiting for her yet. She walked forward to the demon in her path.

"Hello, demon," she said as she approached.

The bear like creature stirred and lifted its head to look at her. "Hmm. So you are the hunted mortal?"

Mouse turned suddenly human at those words. "He will not help us. We should go."

The bear sniffed as if hurt by these words. "The demon will get both of you eventually. Maybe there will be scraps left when he is done." The bear got up and Sylina took two steps back, wishing it had stayed sleeping. It almost reached her chest.

"He looks powerful. Demon?" she said. The big bear looked up at her. "Perhaps you can help me defeat the other demon?"

The bear raised his head, yawned, and looked at her. "You have a staff. What do you need me for? Go, use your weapon and be valorous." He yawned and went to lower his head again.

Suddenly Mouse spoke up. "Perhaps it is possible for you to learn his form."

Sylina thought about it for a moment. "That doesn't sound half bad. What do you think demon?"

The bear yawned. "Teach you to look like me? To take this form? Why? Most mortals are too attached to their forms to learn to change. You," he said, pointing his snout at Mouse, "little one, might be a better student. You stopped being a human years ago."

Mouse shook his head. "I don't think I would be a very good bear. I wouldn't be able to hide."

"But if you became a bear you could help me defeat the other demon." Sylina shrugged. She doubted Mouse would be of much help, but at least as a bear he could distract the demon.

Mouse looked down. "I suppose…if you want my help. I will try to be a bear. If you'll teach me, spirit."

The demon yawned. "That's nice. Teaching is exhausting, however. Go away."

Mouse shook his head. "Told you he wouldn't help." He started to walk away.

Sylina looked at the bear. "Come now, demon, you can't say you will do something and then change your mind. That's just rude." She was getting really tired of the Fade and wanted to get out already. If this demon would teach Mouse to be a bear, she could defeat the other demon and go home. And she worried that she was running out of time.

The bear looked up at her. "I can't change my mind? You have much to learn about the Fade, little mortal."

She screamed in frustration. "Are all creatures of the Fade so annoying! Just teach him already!"

The bear sighed. "You wish to learn, little one? Fine." He motioned to Sylina. "Answer three riddles correctly and I will teach him to be a bear. Answer wrong and I will devour you both."

Sylina blinked and shook her head. "This can't possibly be happening." She pinched the bridge of her nose. "I am not going to play your game, demon." She considered her options. "Teach Mouse or I will kill you. It will hone my skill for the other demon." She took her staff out. She was frustrated and tired.

"Foolish mortal," the bear said, getting up. "I may be slothful, but I can be roused." He lunged to attack her, but she quickly stepped aside. The bear's movements were slow already and she cast an ice blast on him slowing him down further. She smiled and took a few steps back.

"Nice and easy, demon." She cast arcane bolt and then while he was thawing she cast a fire bolt. The bear stopped.

"Enough. You are a pest, mortal. I will teach the mouse to be a bear to get rid of you!"

Sylina smirked and motioned for Mouse to head toward the bear. Mouse gave her a mortified look but walked forward. Sylina kept her staff in hand and couldn't help feeling confident. Soon this would be over.

It took a few minutes, but Mouse eventually learned to be a bear. The demon bear told them to leave him in peace and they did.


	8. Chapter 8

Sylina and Mouse, who was now a bear, walked back to the clearing. As she stepped into it she saw the demon appear out of the ground as if summoned.

"And there is the spirit of rage," Mouse said next to her. She nodded and headed into the clearing.

The demon was speaking and Sylina took out her staff. "So my prey comes at last. Now I shall see the land of mortals. Your body and soul shall be mine."

"I just want to kill you demon," Sylina said.

The creature laughed and turned to Mouse. "So this small mortal is your offering, Mouse?" Sylina rounded on Mouse and saw him bury his head in his hands. The demon continued. "Another plaything, as per our arrangement?"

From beneath his hands came Mouse's voice. "I'm not offering you anything! I don't have to anymore!"

The demon came closer to Mouse and Sylina backed away. "And after all those meals we have shared, you want to change the rules."

"I'm not a mouse now. Soon I won't have to hide. I don't need to bargain with you!"

"We shall see..."

Suddenly, the demon started to attack. Sylina reacted and started casting. The fight was quick. Since the spirit was on fire, an ice spell put him practically out of commission. The wave of cold was followed by several arcane bolts and the demon melted back into the ground. Sylina was grinning when it was over and turned to Mouse.

"Ha, take that demons!" She felt so elated. She had passed her Harrowing. But why wasn't she out of the Fade yet?

"You did it. You actually did it!" Mouse grinned at her. "When you first showed up, I hoped you might be able to defeat the demon. None of the apprentices before you were worthy."

Sylina thought about what the demon had said before the battle. "You fed other apprentices to this demon. You feasted on them. I am no blind idiot, Mouse." She took a step back. "Why help me?"

Mouse was still smiling, "The apprentices before you were set up by the templars to fail. I wish I hadn't helped, but when you first came, you were so confident. I believed in you. I thought you might be able to win. You are a true mage. With time, you will become a powerful enchanter, one without equal."

Sylina took another step back. "Whatever it is you want, you will not get it from me." She held her staff up. Mouse wasn't looking at it. He simply kept his gaze fixed on her.

"If you could just help me there may be a way for me to leave. I could get a foothold outside. You just need to want to let me in."

Sylina raised her staff her eyes flashed. "Never. I see what my true task was now."

Mouse's eyes went large and he threw up his hands. "What are you implying? There is nothing here that could harm an apprentice of your potential."

She kept her eyes on him, taking another step back. "Stay back, Mouse, or I will hurt you."

Mouse's head bowed, then he laughed, but his voice wasn't the same anymore. It was deep and menacing. "You are a smart one," he said. He began to change and Sylina instantly had a spell at the ready, prepared for his attack. "Simple killing is a warrior's job. The real dangers of the Fade are preconceptions…careless trust...pride." Suddenly, Mouse was his true self: a gigantic demon. Sylina's heart raced. She didn't think she could defeat this demon. He stood at least twenty feet tall, probably more. The demon spoke. "Keep your wits about you mage. True tests never end." Then, suddenly, the demon was gone. The Fade slipped away from Sylina and she closed her eyes.

* * *

Cullen watched Sylina's unconscious body. He had a job to do, and luckily that job allowed him to remain close to her. He had prayed to the Maker since the second she had entered the Harrowing chamber that she would make it through this. His heart ached at the thought of what he might have to do.

He watched her chest rise and fall and the occasionally twitch of her hands. He suspected she was performing magic in the Fade. She hadn't been out long and Greagoir had said that she had two hours. If she didn't awaken by then, Cullen's job would be to make sure that she never awoke. His palms were sweaty and his heart wouldn't stop racing. He wanted her to pass so badly. He sent another prayer to the Maker to watch over her in the Fade.

Suddenly, her eyes fluttered open. Cullen raced to her side. "Ser!" he called. He heard templars moving. "She is awake."

Sylina looked around the chamber. Her eyes wide and her breath short. She tried to stand and Cullen put his hand on her arm.

"Are you alright?" he asked. He saw her mouth open, but no sound came out.

"She is alive and awake. Irving?" Greagoir motioned for the older mage to come over.

Irving bent down and put his hand on Sylina's head. He looked up at Greagoir and nodded. Greagoir nodded back and walked away. "Shh, child, you did fine," Irving said. Sylina's eyes closed. She slumped and Cullen quickly put his arm under her back to keep her from falling.

First Enchanter caught Cullen's eye and smiled. "Perhaps you will take her to her room. She will need to sleep and it is best she has a dreamless sleep tonight." Cullen nodded not able to make coherent sound. He picked up Sylina, surprised again by how easily he could lift her.

He remembered the night three years ago when he had carried her to her room.  _Of course,_  he thought, _that had been a much smaller distance_. He smiled, remembering her grabbing his robe and asking him to stay.

He had kept his distance over the years. For her sake and his. Though his heart often ached for her, he knew that it could never be. He sighed. It seemed whenever he was in her presence he had to remind himself that he was a templar. If only life had been different for both of them.

Cullen walked down the Tower with Sylina in his arms. He could scarcely keep his eyes off her sleeping face. He wanted to etch her face in his mind, so he would never forget what she looked like. As he reached the apprentice's dormitories, he finally began to tire. Carrying anything down that many flights of steps was bound to make one fatigued. He was proud that he had not had to ask for help, though. He enjoyed holding her. He could smell her faint fragrance. She smelled of parchment, ink, and something else. He suspected it was an herb he was not acquainted with.

As he approached her bed he felt a wave of disappointment hit him. He didn't want to leave her. He didn't want to put her down. He sighed reminding himself of his duty and lowered her onto her bed. She made a small sound and he smiled wondering if she was awake if she would have asked him to stay again. He put the thought out of his head. He was a templar.

He looked around. Perhaps, just this once, he could pretend he was not. He bent down quickly and kissed her forehead. "To return the favor," he whispered, remembering the kiss she had given him last week. He hadn't been able to sleep for days. "Sleep well Sylina," he murmured, and quietly left her room.


	9. Chapter 9

"Sylina...Sylina are you alright? Please say something." Sylina heard Jowan's voice through her slumber. She blinked and looked around. Jowan was standing at the side of her bed. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw her eyes open.

She groaned. "Hi, Jowan," she said simply, rolling off the bed.

"Thank the Maker!" he said, helping her get up. "So you took the Harrowing, then? Was it dangerous? What was it like?"

Sylina sighed and tried to straighten her robes since she had slept in them and they now had creases. "Jowan," she said trying to not sound exasperated, "you know the Harrowing is a secret. I can't tell you anything about it. You will just have to wait for your Harrowing to find out."

Jowan folded his arms, "Fine. I see where our friendship is these days. I'll leave you alone then. After all you get to move to the nice mage's quarter upstairs while I stay down here. Meanwhile, who knows when I will be called for my Harrowing."

Sylina felt tired and a little frustrated by Jowan's attitude. He hadn't even congratulated her. "Jowan, try not to worry about the Harrowing. They will call you when you are ready."

"I'm older than you Sylina. I think they just don't want to test me."

Sylina gave a small laugh. "Please, Jowan, don't be paranoid. And besides, I had magical talent early. Perhaps that is why I went through my Harrowing before you."

"You don't understand." He looked at the ground. "I'm afraid of what will happen to me. Mages in the Circle only have three options, Sylina. We do the Harrowing, the Rite of Tranquility, or die. That's it."

She smiled. "No one is going to kill you, Jowan."

"Perhaps they won't kill me. But the Rite of Tranquility is just as bad, if not worse. You've seen the Tranquil - don't pretend they don't affect you. They are so cold, but… no, that's not the right word… they have nothing in them, Sylina. Their voices, their eyes…everything is lifeless." Jowan shivered and Sylina rubbed her arms.

"Jowan, you are my friend, but you are worrying about this too much. I am sure you will be fine." Sylina smiled at him and patted his arm.

"You're right. I shouldn't waste your time with this. I was supposed to tell you that Irving wants to see you as soon as you wake up. And since you're awake now..." Jowan smiled for the first time that morning.

Sylina laughed. "I better go, then. Thank you, Jowan. I will talk to you later." Sylina headed out the door of the dormitory.

As she was walking up the stairs she heard two apprentices speaking.

"Did you hear if she is alright?" a girl asked. Sylina stopped behind a bookshelf to hear the conversation. Were they talking about her?

"Oh are you her best friend now?" Sylina rolled her eyes - she knew most of the female apprentices disliked her, and her passing her Harrowing was not likely to change that.

The first girl spoke up again defiance in her voice. "I'm only curious. Ser Cullen said it was the quickest, cleanest Harrowing he had ever seen! He said she's very talented and very brave."

Sylina smirked.  _Oh, Cullen!_  she thought.

She could practically feel the second girl roll her eyes. "Well he would, wouldn't he?"

Sylina chuckled and moved on. She shouldn't keep the First Enchanter waiting after all.

As Sylina entered the First Enchanter's office, she immediately noticed Irving, Greagoir and a third man standing inside. She heard Greagoir arguing with the unknown man so she stayed back at the entrance to the large study, not wanting them to think she was eavesdropping. Greagoir was telling the man that they had already sent mages to Ostagar for the King's army and that they wouldn't send any more.

Sylina felt slightly disappointed. She would have loved to go help the King. That would have been exciting. And now that she was a Harrowed mage she could leave the Tower if she was granted permission by the First Enchanter.

"Are you merely afraid to let any of the mages out from under Chantry supervision? Where they can use the gifts the Maker gave them?" Sylina smirked at Irving's response.

Greagoir fired back at him. "How dare you suggest..."

The third man broke in. "Gentlemen, please." He motioned at Sylina. "Irving, I believe someone is here to see you."

"First Enchanter, you asked me to see you as soon as I awoke." She walked into the room and couldn't help her eyes going to the stranger. He was younger than both Greagoir and Irving, though that was not saying much since the other two men looked ancient to her. His skin was dark and his hair was black. She had only ever seen one templar with skin as dark as his. He wore two blades on his back.

"Ah, there you are. If it isn't the newest sister in the Circle. Come in, child."

The darker man walked to Irving's side and motioned at her. "This is...?"

Irving turned to him with a smile. "Yes, this is she."

Greagoir scowled. "I can see you are busy, Irving. We will discuss this later." He left, glaring at Sylina as he did.

Irving nodded. "We will." He motioned for Sylina to come closer. "This is Duncan, of the Grey Wardens."

Sylina smiled widely - a Grey Warden! She had read all about Grey Wardens and Blights, and darkspawn. She had heard that the King's army was going to Ostagar to fight darkspawn. She looked at the man, Duncan. "A Grey Warden? What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be fighting darkspawn in Ostagar?"

Duncan smiled at her. "Grey Wardens go wherever duty sends them."

Irving smiled at her again. "You have heard about Ostagar and the King's army. Duncan is recruiting mages to join the King's army."

Sylina had heard Irving right: this man wanted more mages to go fight. "I would go," she said, her excitement getting the better of her as she grinned at both men. "I would go fight and defend Ferelden."

Duncan sized her up in a completely obvious way before speaking. "With the darkspawn invading, we need all the help we can get, especially from the Circle. The power mages wield is a great asset to any army. Your spells can be very effective against large groups of mindless darkspawn. I fear if we do not defeat the darkspawn at Ostagar, there may be another Blight."

Sylina's eyes went round and Irving quickly jumped in. "Duncan, you worry the girl. This is supposed to be a happy day for her."

Duncan shrugged. "These are troubled times."

"Well then, we should seize moments of levity, especially in troubled times," Irving stated, smiling back at Sylina. "Your Harrowing is behind you. You are officially a mage within the Circle of Magi."

Sylina smiled widely, feeling breathless for a moment. Her entire life she had worked up to this moment. Both the Blight and darkspawn were immediately forgotten. "Thank you, First Enchanter."

"I present you with your robes, your staff, and a ring bearing the Circle's insignia. Wear them proudly, for you have earned them."

Sylina took the robes and staff and put the ring on. She looked from the First Enchanter to Duncan. "Now what?" she asked.

Irving chuckled. "Patience, child. You have been through a lot in the last day. We should not rush things. Rest or study. The day is yours."

She had a sudden thought. "What if I want to leave the tower?" She knew the answer, but somehow she wanted the Grey Warden to see that she wanted to leave.

"Not yet, child. Remember: the tower's walls protect us as much as they protect others from us." Sylina couldn't stop her eyes from rolling.

"I will return to my quarters," Duncan said. Sylina looked at him. He was watching her with inquisitive eyes.

"Would you escort Duncan back to his quarters, child?" Irving asked, a small smile at the corner of his lips.

She smiled. "It would be a pleasure," she said, motioning for Duncan to follow her.

Duncan walked by her side in silence. She could tell he was watching her though. When they reached his rooms he stated simply: "Thank you for escorting me." Sylina was about to turn to leave when she paused.

Duncan, noticing this asked, "Is there something else I can do for you?"

Sylina bit her lower lip and turned to face him. "How many mages joined the King's army?" she asked.

"The king sent out the call and only seven mages were sent to Ostagar."

Sylina gasped. "Only  _seven_? But there are many mages here that could help, and would want to as well."

Duncan shrugged. "I asked King Cailan's permission to come here and try to get a greater commitment from the Circle. I was hoping to place a mage in every contingent. I cannot do this with only seven." Sylina nodded. She couldn't believe only seven mages had left the tower. "Mages could make a big difference in the battles. The darkspawn have their own magic as well, and our resources must exceed theirs."

Sylina felt nervous, but finally she asked the question she had been thinking ever since she had heard why this man was here. "Could I join the King's army?"

Duncan looked at her. "Would you be of use?"

She looked slightly annoyed. Why would she be asking if she wouldn't be of any help?! "I know combat spells. I would be of use," she insisted.

Duncan nodded. "Then I shall speak to Irving about this later. Darkspawn are a greater threat than blood mages or abominations. It takes decades for the world to recover from a Blight," he sighed. "I wish the Chantry could see that. We must stop at nothing to defeat the darkspawn." He suddenly began to scoff. "Listen to me. An old man ranting can't be very interesting to you."

Sylina smiled at him. "I was actually finding it quite interesting and I have learned much. Thank you."

He chuckled. "You are too kind."

"Perhaps we can speak later?" she asked.

"Yes, after I speak to Irving about what you proposed." He smiled down at her and Sylina left his room.


	10. Chapter 10

Upon leaving Duncan's room, Sylina ran into Jowan. "I'm glad I caught you. Can you speak now?" Sylina nodded and Jowan's voice dropped to a whisper. "I need to talk to you about what we discussed this morning. Can we go somewhere more private?"

Sylina's eyebrows rose. "Why are you whispering Jowan? It is suspicious."

"I've been troubled...I'll explain. Come with me, please." He started walking away and Sylina followed him. They walked down the hall to the Chantry. Sylina looked suspiciously at Jowan, but he just shook his head.

Jowan walked to the corner of the Chantry where one of the sisters was. He turned to Sylina. "We should be safe here," he said.

"Yes," Sylina said. "The one place in the tower the templars frequent most. This seems like a good idea." She was puzzled by Jowan's behavior. Before her Harrowing, he had all but ignored her and had been broody for days. In fact, over the last year, Jowan had been acting differently. They were still friends, but they barely hung out as much as they had when they were children.

The sister spoke up. "We can see the door from here. If anyone comes, we'll change the subject." Now Sylina was completely confused. She wouldn't say she was a devout Andrastian, mostly because she was a little resentful about their treatment of mages. But still, she had never thought Jowan would trust a Chantry sister.

"Jowan, what is going on?" She turned to him.

"You remember how I told you I met a girl a few months ago? This is Lily." Sylina almost hit herself. Now that he mentioned it she did remember, but she had been so caught up in her Harrowing she had completely forgotten about it.

"Jowan, are you crazy?" was her first reaction. "She is an initiate. It's forbidden by the Chantry. Even I know that." She stepped back from the two of them shaking her head. They must've both been crazy. She turned to Lily. This woman must be crazy. Not only was she in the Chantry, but she was having an affair with a mage.

Jowan raised his voice. "I won't give Lily up for anything."

Sylina was shaking her head. She needed to get out of here. This was bad. Why would Jowan pull her into this? She was already on thin ice. She had killed a templar! No one would ever forget that. "Jowan, why are you telling me this?"

He looked at the ground. "Remember how I said that the templars don't want to put me through my Harrowing? I know why. They're...going to make me tranquil, Sylina. They'll take my dreams, hopes, fears...my love for Lily away from me. All gone... Sylina, I need to escape. I need to destroy my phylactery. Without it, they can't track me down. We need your help. Lily and I can't do this on our own."

"Give us your word that you will help and we will tell you what we intend," Lily said, looking at Sylina with earnest.

Sylina couldn't believe what she was hearing. "Are you crazy? No, scratch that. You are both obviously crazy. No. Jowan, you know I can't help. If I get caught helping you, they won't make me tranquil they will kill me. That is what Greagoir told me three years ago. I can't help you." She turned to go. "I'm sorry."

Jowan's voice cracked. "You're just..just walking away?"

She heard Lily's voice. "It's all right Jowan. There's always a way. We must have faith." Sylina hurried away.

* * *

She felt sick to her stomach after leaving the Chantry. How could Jowan involve her in this? He was crazy. Crazy to try and escape the Circle. Crazy to try and destroy his phylactery. She had only  _just_  gone through her Harrowing. She shook her head and headed to the apprentice's dormitories. She grabbed her few belongings and walked them back up to the mage's quarters. She saw Cullen standing close to the door of her new room. She smiled, thinking about the whispers she had heard this morning.

"Hello Cullen," she said as she approached him. She had always known that he stood guard during the day in the mage's quarters. She wondered if this meant they would see each other more often. That thought made her a little giddy inside.

Cullen blushed. "Oh, um hello." She smiled. He seemed more nervous than usual. "I am...I am glad to see your Harrowing went smoothly."

"I saw you at my Harrowing." She couldn't keep the twinkle out of her eye.

He looked at the ground shifting his feet. "I..um…I was picked as the templar to strike the killing blow if...if you became an abomination."

Sylina's eyes went wide and she dropped her bag of things. Cullen instinctively reached out and grabbed them. He succeeded in grabbing the bag of clothes and bent to pick up her other personal belongings. Sylina just stood still. When he was done he held the bag and items in his hands and looked at her.

"It's nothing personal Sylina, I swear," he said with a slight desperation in his voice as he looked into her eyes. Sylina felt breathless. The idea that Cullen would have delivered the killing blow should she have failed made her stomach turn in knots and she felt the need to empty her stomach. All she could think of was why Greagoir would have picked Cullen? Then she realized that she knew why. She looked into his amber eyes, trying to see if he would have actually delivered the killing blow. He shifted his gaze down. "I am...uh...I'm just glad that you succeeded and are alright." He blushed. She took a step toward him. Would he? She might never know and she wasn't sure she wanted to.

Instead of asking she took another step toward him. She could feel his gaze on her and his closeness. She smiled up at him. "Cullen, I was never going to fail." He froze as he looked into her eyes. She saw want in them. Then he shook his head.

"You have always been so confident," he said with a small smile.

She motioned to her room. "Will you help me carry my things to my room?"

Cullen gulped, but nodded. "Of...of course." They walked the few steps to her new room and she motioned for where Cullen should put the bag down. "I have heard of failed Harrowings, and the results are unpleasant." Cullen said as he set down the bag, Sylina nodded.

"Have you ever witnessed a failed Harrowing?" She asked him as she began unpacking the bag.

"No, but I am sure something must happen for the templars to know that a mage has become an abomination."

Sylina chuckled. "I wouldn't count on that Cullen." She started putting her clothes away.

Suddenly she heard Cullen shuffle his feet and she looked up from where she was putting her things. "Oh, I'm sorry Cullen. I am distracting you from your duties. I should be fine now. Thank you."

"Oh, no you're not distracting me." He seemed to realize where he was and blushed, "Well, I mean, you are, but...you're not." He buried his head in his hands as if that would give him courage and Sylina instinctively moved closer to him. "What I mean to say is that you can talk to me anytime you want." He put down his hands and realized how close she was. He froze and Sylina did as well.

 _Will Cullen finally make a move?_  she wondered.

"Perhaps we should speak another time," he said and nearly sprinted out of her room.

Sylina couldn't keep herself from chuckling. She had found that she enjoyed making Cullen blush and she was hoping that living on this floor she would get to see more of that.


	11. Chapter 11

Sylina wandered around the mage's floor. She went into the mage laboratory to see where she would now be mixing potions and heard that Senior Enchanter Leorah was in a cross mood and to avoid her. She walked to the library kept on the mage floor and examined all the books she would now be allowed to read. She couldn't wait to start learning advanced spells and reading the tomes that senior mages specifically made off limits to apprentices.

However, hours later, Sylina found herself in front of First Enchanter Irving's study again. She sighed. She knew why she was there, but she felt miserable about what she was about to do. She knocked. A faint "Come in!" was heard, and she opened the door.

"Ah there you are, child," Irving said from his desk, getting up and coming around. He was smiling. "I ran into Duncan. You seemed to make a good impression; he was pleased to have met you."

Sylina smiled and blushed. "I can't believe I met a Grey Warden."

"You should speak to him more if you get the chance. He's a wise and learned man." He looked at her, his smiled disappearing and concern coming entering his eyes. "Have you seen Jowan today?"

Sylina's smile vanished. Did he know already? "I..." she looked down. "Yes, First Enchanter. I saw him a few hours ago."

"Did you speak with him? I was wondering if you knew if he is...feeling all right. He seems to be acting nervous lately. I was thinking you might know why."

Sylina fidgeted with her new robes. She liked the color. They were green and brought out her eyes. She sighed. She knew she couldn't lie or keep something this huge from the First Enchanter. He had been like a father to her growing up. She wouldn't let him down. "I...uh...I was wondering if I could talk to you about that, actually?" She bit her lip and looked up at him.

Irving's face softened. "Of course, child, tell me what is bothering you."

She took a breath to steady herself. "Jowan...I think he is nervous because he thinks he is going to be made tranquil." She said the words quickly and snapped her mouth shut when she was done.

Irving sighed. "I would assume his lover Lily told him about this?" Sylina's mouth gaped open. He shook his head. "I have known about them for some time now." He paused and walked past her to the door of his study. He shut it and returned. "Child, this tower has many eyes and many ears. I know Jowan and Lily discussed something with you today. What did they say?"

Sylina felt the wind get knocked out of her. Not only did the First Enchanter know about Lily and Jowan, he also knew she had spoken to them. What if she had agreed to help? He would likely have known that too. They wouldn't have even made it to the phylactery room before they were stopped and killed by templars. Suddenly, she exhaled.  _No,_  she thought, _this is why I told Jowan I could not help him. His plan was doomed from the minute he started having feelings for a Chantry initiate._

She told Irving that Jowan planned to escape and that she had refused to help him. It felt good to tell someone, like the burden was lifted off her. It was out of her hands what happened to them now.

Irving, however, had other plans for her. "You should help him destroy his phylactery and escape," Irving said calmly when she had finished the story.

Sylina stared at him. "What!? I didn't hear you right, surely?" Did Irving want her to be killed also? Was everyone in this tower out to get her?

Irving shook his head and walked a few paces before coming back to her. "Child, if I merely report Jowan to the templars he will be punished." Sylina cringed at the thought that Jowan would get in trouble because she told the First Enchanter. She felt crushed inside. She realized what a horrible person she was being. Irving continued. "But Lily also broke her vows and she deserves to be punished just like Jowan. In order to make sure the Chantry does not stand behind her, claiming she has been framed or is in the thrall of blood magic, we need irrefutable proof of her crime. There must be no doubt in the minds of the Chantry that she helped him voluntarily."

Sylina shook her head. "Why in the Maker's name do you want Lily to get in trouble too? Isn't it enough that...that Jowan will..." Sylina trailed off. She wished she could hide or run away. Perhaps she should have just helped Jowan and escaped with him.

Irving put his hand on her shoulder. "Lily is as guilty as Jowan of this crime. I refuse to see him suffer while the Chantry shelters her." A small smile showed at the corner of his lips. "Sometimes we must remind the Chantry that their members are not as perfect as they pretend. Go. Tell Jowan you will help him. I will be outside the repository with a contingent of templars. Let them see the mischief their initiate led our student to."

Sylina left Irving's office in a state of shock. The man had known about Jowan and Lily and he had done nothing about it. She shook her head. He could have stopped this before it began. Worst of all, not only was she putting herself in danger, she was also betraying a friend. She went back to her room and sat on her bed. She knew that she had to go tell Jowan she would help him, but she wasn't ready. Sylina cried. She cried because she knew this was all her fault and because so much of this was wrong.

Why couldn't Jowan and Lily be in love? Why should anyone stop that? The more she thought about the consequences of her actions the more she cried. Finally, the tears all shed, she got out of bed. She had hoped that by telling the First Enchanter she would be able to leave this business behind her. She hadn't wanted to be caught knowing this secret. The Knight-Commander wouldn't have hesitated a moment to kill her over it. She sighed, straightened her robes and went to find Jowan.

She told him and Lily that she would help them and they told her their plan. It was simple. All she needed to do was get a rod of fire from the store room. Which was easy enough once she got Irving's signature, as horrible as that had been for her. She hadn't even been able to look him in the eye as she told him of Jowan and Lily's plan. Irving had told her to stay strong and that it would be over soon. He also told her that the rod wouldn't work on the door and that she would have to go to the artifacts room and break down the wall it shared with the phylactery room. Sylina couldn't believe he was telling her how to break down walls and destroy phylacteries. But as nervous as she was about this plan, she trusted that the First Enchanter knew what he was doing.

Her, Jowan, and Lily headed down to the repository. The first door was easy enough to get through. Lily said the password and Sylina threw a ball of ice at the door. It opened as if it had never been locked. At the door to the repository, Sylina attempted to use the rod of fire on the door. It didn't work, as Irving had told her it would.

"No, something isn't right," Jowan said, aghast. "I can't cast spells."

Sylina had noticed it too and had not been surprised. Irving had warned her.

Lily examined the door. "These wards...they must be templar work. They negate any magic cast within this area." She groaned. "Of course! Why would Greagoir and Irving use keys for such a door? Obviously, it is because magical keys wouldn't work." She turned back to the door angrily. "How to keep mages out of something? Make it so their magic doesn't work! We're finished. We can't get in!"

Sylina nodded. She was still very nervous about this plan and wished to say as little as possible. She didn't want Lily or Jowan to suspect what she had done. Hopefully they would leave now, she wouldn't have to suggest the other door and they could all put this behind them. She knew this wasn't going to happen. Irving had instructed her to make sure they reached the phylactery room. She internally groaned at him. She took a deep breath and pointed down the hallway. "Perhaps that door leads somewhere?" she suggested.

Lily looked at the door. "Do you think it could be another way in?"

Jowan rubbed his chin. "I bet that door leads to another part of the repository. There could be another entrance somewhere else."

Sylina looked between them. "We could always leave," she said innocently.

"No!" Lily shouted at her. "We are not giving up just yet. Let's see where this door leads." She started walking down the hall. Sylina was starting to understand why the First Enchanter wanted this initiate to get in trouble. Not only was she crazy, but she seemed to be the perpetrator behind the plan to begin with.

Sylina walked down the end of the hall with Jowan at her side. "I can't give up now Sylina! We have come too far!" Jowan said, his voice desperate. Sylina fought back tears as she looked at him and nodded.

They used the rod on the door and it worked. But as soon as the door opened, the statue behind them jumped to life with sword in hand. Sylina turned quickly and fired off a bolt of lightning, hitting the statue. It came close to Lily, but Jowan hit it with a fire spell that broke the statue to pieces. They all stared at the fragments of the once moving statue.

Sylina turned to Jowan. His face was white and he was staring at Lily. "So I guess we found out what happens when you force your way into the repository?" Sylina said trying to keep her voice from cracking. Walking statues? Maker help them.

"We can't...we can't turn back now," Jowan said. Lily nodded. Sylina sighed and turned to walk through the now partially burned door.

They had made their way through the repository. They fought armored statues and some kind of mage spirits. Sylina tried not to think about it much. Finally, they made it to the artifacts room.

"Let's split up and look for a way inside the phylactery room?" Sylina suggested. "I think one of these walls connects to it."

They split up looking around finally she heard Jowan say: "That wall looks like it is about to come down at any moment." She walked over to where he was. There was a bookshelf just barely obscuring a wall which looked about to fall down.

"The phylactery chamber must be on the other side of this wall," Jowan said, flicking the crumbling rock.

Sylina nodded. "It might be. The wall looks weak in spots."

"Perhaps we can find something to knock it down?" Jowan said. "Surely there is something powerful enough amidst all this junk."

"Let's move the bookshelf so we can see the wall more clearly." Together, they moved the bookshelf away from the wall. Sylina saw that it looked about ready to collapse on its own. She sighed. She knew what she was looking for. She found the dog looking statue that Irving had mentioned and she moved it closer to the door. Jowan saw what she was doing and came over to her.

"Oh, use the rod on that. I am sure it will work!" Sylina rolled her eyes and touched the head of the statue with the rod. A large burst of fire spilled out the dog's mouth and hit the wall. Sylina jumped back and covered her ears as the wall came crashing down. When the rubble had cleared there was a hole the size of three men in the wall and on the other side she could clearly see the phylactery chamber. Or what she only assumed was the phylactery chamber.

"It worked!" Jowan yelled and ran into the room. Sylina brushed the dust off her robes and followed him.

She heard Lily say behind her: "We need to find Jowan's phylactery. And quickly."

They entered the stone room and Sylina saw Jowan headed up the steps. "Jowan, look out!" she shouted as she saw an armored statue descend on him. Jowan jumped back just as the sentinel slashed where Jowan's head had been. Jowan tripped over his robes and fell down the stairs.

"Jowan!" Lily shouted and ran to his crumpled form at the foot of the stairs. Sylina grabbed her staff and threw an ice bolt at the armored sentinel. He froze and she hit him with an arcane bolt and then, drawing on more of her mana, she quickly cast a lightning bolt. The combination of pure spirit, ice, and lightning destroyed the armor and it burst into pieces. She breathed and ran to Jowan at the foot of the stairs.

"Is he alright?" she asked, bending down to look at him.

"I'm fine. I'm fine Lily, really. It's just a bump on the head I assure you." Lily looked ready to cry and Sylina felt a jolt of guilt. Perhaps she really did love Jowan? She felt another pang of guilt, but quickly suppressed it.

"Come on," she said, helping Jowan to his feet. "Let's find your phylactery and get out of here." They walked up the steps, Jowan limping slightly, and started checking bottles. They split up and it wasn't long before she heard Jowan shouting. "It's my phylactery! I found it!" Sylina walked over to him and saw the small vial with his name on it. He held it up to the light. "I can't believe this is all that stands between me and freedom." He smiled and dropped it. The vial shattered on the ground. "So fragile...and I am free"

"We should leave now," Sylina said. She started to walk towards the door. Jowan and Lily followed her and they left the chamber. They walked back through the halls to the entrance. Sylina felt very nervous.

"Is something wrong?" Jowan asked as they were headed up the stairs.

"N-no," she choked out. Jowan smiled at her as he pushed the door open.

"Come on, Lily," he said, holding his hand out to her as they climbed the last few steps. "We did it." He turned to Sylina and she felt her heart break. "Thank you. We could never have done this without you."

She looked down at her feet, unable to meet his gaze. She felt tears forming in her eyes and she tried desperately to push them away. Suddenly she heard armored feet headed toward them. She looked up as Jowan turned to face the approachers. His face was white.

"I see what you said is true, Irving," she heard the Knight-Commander say as the group approached. Sylina hung her head. She wished she could be anywhere but here.

"G-Greagoir..." Lily sputtered fear in her voice.

Greagoir's voice was steel. "An initiate, conspiring with a blood mage. I am disappointed, Lily." He cast a cold glare in her direction. "She is in control of her mind and not in thrall to the blood mage." He turned his head to look at Irving who was standing next to him. "You were right, Irving. She has betrayed us. The Chantry will see that she is punished." Then he pointed a finger at Sylina. "And here you are. I shouldn't be surprised that you are making light of the rules of the Circle already." She was surprised at the almost-smirk on his face.

She felt her heart race.  _No,_  she thought,  _Irving must have told him that I was only doing his bidding. Please Maker._

Jowan stood in front of Sylina. "This was my idea, do not blame her." Sylina buried her face in her hands and heard Irving speak.

"She is here under my orders, Greagoir. I take full responsibility for her actions."

Sylina felt Jowan round on her. "You led us into a trap! I trusted you! We trusted you!"

Sylina felt the tears fall down her face. "Jowan... I had no choice." A sob broke through her lips as his expression darkened.

"Don't you dare speak to me!" He rounded back on the templars.

Greagoir threw up his hands. "I have heard enough out of both of you," he said coldly. "As Knight-Commander, I sentence this blood mage to death." Sylina gasped and a small sob escaped her. She felt broken. How could she have done this? "And this initiate shall be taken to Aeonar."

Lily stepped back and put up her hands palms out. "T-the mage prison. No. Please." Two templars advanced to take her away, but Jowan stepped between them.

"I won't let you touch her!" he shouted, a knife suddenly in his hand. Sylina thought he would try to cut the templars down with it, but instead he sliced open his hand. Her eyes rounded as she realized what he was doing. Blood magic. A wave of magic crashed over the Templars and Irving. Sylina was thrown back as well.


	12. Chapter 12

When her eyes cleared, she saw Jowan running and Lily huddled in a ball crying. She looked around and saw Irving lying on the floor. She got up, ignoring her new bruises, and ran over to him. "Irving! Irving, are you okay?" she cried, shaking him. He groaned and opened his eyes.

"Are you alright?" he asked weakly. Sylina helped him up and saw him cast a quick healing spell over himself. He looked around. "Where is Greagoir?"

The Knight-Commander was getting up, groaning and cursing. "I knew it! Blood magic!" He shook his head. "How could he have overcome so many? I never thought him capable..."

"Blood magic is powerful Greagoir, as it is dangerous. None of us could have expected that." Irving said approaching the Knight-Commander. "Are you alright, Greagoir?"

Greagoir scoffed. "Given the circumstances, I could be worse. If you had told me about this sooner this would not have happened! Now there is a blood mage on the loose and we have no phylactery to track him down!" Sylina winced at this.

"He only just ran. I saw him as I woke. Surely if you are fast enough..." Sylina tried looking the way Jowan had run. She did not want to remind the Knight-Commander that she had been the one to allow Jowan to smash his phylactery. Had she known he was a blood mage she would never have gone down there. No matter what the First Enchanter commanded her to do.

Greagoir turned a cold eye on her. "We will use every resource we have to track him down." He turned from her and looked around. "Where is the girl?"

Lily was still crying and Greagoir stormed over to her and yanked her up. "You helped a blood mage escape! Do you see what he has done!?" Lily cringed and cried harder. Sylina, knowing that all of this was her fault, could not look at her.

She spoke to the ground: "She did not know he was a blood mage. Neither of us did."

"Save your breath. I do not need your help." Lily spat at her. She straightened to look at the Knight-Commander tears in her eyes. "I...I am sorry Knight-Commander. I was an accomplice to...to a blood mage. I accept the punishment that bears."

Greagoir growled at two templars. "Get her out of my sight." The templars practically picked her up and carried her out of the room. Sylina watched, feeling hollow. "And you." Greagoir turned to her and Sylina jumped. "You were trespassing in a room that is full of magic and locked away for a reason." Sylina was confused. Irving spoke up.

"Did you take anything from the repository?" Sylina looked at him.

"Of course not," she said, though now she wondered what would have been in there that the templars didn't want her to have.

Irving nodded. "I believe you, child."

Greagoir snapped. "Her antics have made a mockery of this Circle!" He turned to Irving. "You cannot possibly suggest that she not be punished?"

Sylina spoke up. "I did as Irving bid! I had no idea Jowan was a blood mage and I was following orders issued by the First Enchanter." She felt her heart race. Her eyes were dry, but she feared Greagoir would still use this as an excuse to kill her.

Irving motioned for her to be calm. "I told you she was following my orders."

Greagoir turned to Irving and stuck his hand out coming close to the mage's chest. "And this makes it better? The phylactery chamber and the repository are off limits to anyone without express permission from both you AND me."

Irving crossed his arms, and appeared to be unimpressed by Greagoir's anger. "I had my reasons," was all he said.

Greagoir's voice got louder and angrier. "You are not all-knowing Irving! The blood mage could have influenced her. We must deal with this!"

Suddenly a third voice spoke up. Sylina turned quickly to see Duncan striding toward them. "Knight-Commander, I may have a solution." He stopped at the two men and Sylina looked up at him, hopeful. "I am not only recruiting for the King's army, but also for the Grey Wardens. Irving spoke highly of this young mage. I would like her to join the Warden's ranks."

Greagoir rounded on Irving. "WHAT?!" he sputtered. "You promised this Warden a new recruit!?"

Irving kept his voice calm, as ever. "Sylina has been loyal and served this Circle well. She will make a fine addition to the Grey Wardens."

The Knight-Commander threw up his arms. "No. I object. I do not trust her. Do not think I have forgotten what she did! I will not release her to the Grey Wardens!"

Irving shook his head. "Nobody expected you to forget, Greagoir. Though it is not your choice if she goes."

Shocked, Sylina glanced from Irving to Duncan. "I would love to be a Grey Warden!" she exclaimed, suddenly smiling. She was overjoyed at the idea of getting away. The idea of leaving the Circle forever, knowing that she would never have to see the Knight-Commander again. The more she thought about it, the more thrilled she was.

Duncan put his hand on her shoulder and turned to the Knight-Commander. "Greagoir, mages are needed. This mage is needed. There are worse things in this world than blood mages." He squeezed her shoulder and she looked up at him, but his gaze stayed on the Knight-Commander. "I will take this young mage under my wing and bear all responsibility for her actions."

"She does not deserve a place in your Order!"

Irving turned to Greagoir. "And why is that, Greagoir? Should we not reward her service to the Circle? She helped us uncover a plot between a blood mage and an initiate today. She has earned her chance to use her gifts away from the protection of the tower."

Greagoir glared at Irving, huffed, and walked away. Sylina watched him go and turned to Irving. "So...does this mean I am leaving to be a Grey Warden then?" she asked, wondering if Greagoir had admitted defeat.

Irving chuckled as he watched Greagoir go, "Yes child. Be proud." His hands went to her shoulders and he squeezed them. "You have an opportunity few dream of." His eyes twinkled. "Do not squander it, child." Sylina beamed up at him and in a moment of abandon, she hugged him. Irving chuckled and patted her back. "Now go child. Collect your things, and quickly. We do not want to have you to go through a contingent of templars on your way out."

Sylina smiled and nodded. "Thank you for everything First Enchanter."

"I will wait for you by the doors when you have collected your things. I believe the First Enchanter is correct in saying you should be quick. We should leave before this news spreads." Sylina nodded and headed up the stairs.

In her room, she quickly grabbed a bag and started stuffing clothes in it. She was nervous, but she couldn't stop herself from smiling. She was leaving. She was  _actually leaving._  She tried to push all thoughts of Jowan and Lily out of her mind. They had made their choice and she had made hers. Now they all must live with it.

She was gathering what little belongings she had and filling the bag when she heard the clink of armor. She jumped and turned around.

"I-I am sorry," Cullen said, standing at her door.

She placed her hand over her heart and beamed uncontrollably. She laughed. "I will never understand how templars can move so silently in that armor!"

Cullen blushed. "We...uh...well we train to move silently. It helps when we have to..." He stopped and blushed redder, looking at his shoes.

Sylina laughed again. "When you have to hunt down mages?" she asked innocently, chuckling again. Then suddenly it hit her. She would never see Cullen again. Her smile disappeared and she stared at him.

"Is something wrong?" he asked, taking a step into her room. Sylina put down the dress she was about to pack.

"Cullen." She hesitated, and bit her lip. "Cullen, I am leaving." She saw shock and confusion on his face.

"You are leaving?" he asked, taking another step in. He shook his head. "Sylina, y-you can't leave." His eyes widened. "Why would you tell me this? You are planning to escape?" His voice rose.

Sylina quickly stepped forward and touched his breastplate. "No, Cullen," she said. He looked down at her, his brows furrowed. "I am...I am not escaping. I am leaving. I am..." She looked up at him and beamed. "I am going to become a Grey Warden." His mouth opened and he stared at her. She glanced down at her hand, still resting on his breastplate next to the templar insignia.

She felt his hand on her arm and startled she looked up. His eyes were warm as he looked down at her, but there was sadness in them…and regret. "Sylina," he murmured. Her heart was beating rapidly and she couldn't breathe. He was so close she could feel his warmth through the armor.

He looked from her to his hand on her arm and she thought he would remove it and run away, as he had earlier. But he surprised her. His other hand came up and brushed a lock of hair behind her ear. His eyes met her and there was something in them - a spark of heat. She saw it for a moment before his head was descending. His hand slipped behind her to cradle her head, his other hand going to her waist. He pulled her closer and their lips met.

Shock hit Sylina first at the contact. His lips were warm and soft, like so much of Cullen already. Her hand moved from his breastplate up to his shoulders and then to his neck. She was stunned by the warmth of his neck against her cool hand. But that was the last coherent thought she had as the soft kiss changed. As if her touching his neck had awoken a fire within him, Cullen pulled her closer, crushing her body against his armor. His mouth moved against her lips, deepening the kiss. Sylina couldn't think. Waves of heat shot through her body.

All too soon, Cullen was pulling away. They were both gasping for breath. Cullen rested his head against her forehead for a moment before stepping back. She let her hand fall from his neck and he caught it in his. His eyes searched hers and she felt a wave of grief knowing that she was leaving him. He brought her hand to his lips and kissed it lightly. She felt tears in her eyes but she didn't want Cullen to see them. She looked down and he stepped forward and cupped her chin in his hand. She looked into his eyes. He smiled. It was a small smile and sad.

Cullen put his hands up and pulled a thin chain over his head. Sylina watched as an amulet appeared. He reached out for her hand and placed the amulet in it. Then he closed her fingers around it. He looked into her eyes. "May this amulet bring you protection and luck." He smiled and kissed her lightly. She stepped forward trying to make the kiss last, but he pulled away. He looked into her eyes one last time, still holding the hand with his amulet in it. Then he dropped her hand and left her room.

As Sylina entered the lobby of the tower, she felt light-headed. She had never been in this room before. It was stone like all the other rooms and completely bare. Obviously it was meant to be just a room between the outside and in. She looked around and saw the large door at the end of the room. She stared at it, hardly able to breathe. Any minute she would walk out that door and enter a world she had only dreamed of. Duncan was suddenly at her side.

"I see you are finally ready. Good. We need to move quickly. Come." Duncan smiled at her as he walked toward the door. "Your new life awaits." Two templars opened the doors to the tower.


	13. Chapter 13

Sylina's first reaction to the outdoors was that it was very cold. The sun was descending and there was a chill in the air she was not used to. The next thing she noticed was the green and the lake. She stared wide eyed at everything. The lake, the dock, the little boat Duncan steered her towards. She couldn't move on her own and he seemed to expect this. She just stared, open mouthed, at everything. When the boat started moving, she squeaked and grabbed the edge, sure that she was going to be thrown overboard. The ferryman chuckled and continued steering the boat.

Sylina reached over the edge of the boat and let her hand skim the water. She giggled.  _This can't be happening_ , she thought.  _But if this is a dream I don't want it to ever end._

She was out of the tower. She squirmed in her seat and looked back and it. It was so much larger from the outside, she decided. It loomed huge on the island. She smiled. Her hand strayed to her neck, and she felt the amulet. She had pulled it on the second Cullen had left and pushed it inside her robes so no one would see it. She felt the comfortable weight of the amulet as it hung between her breasts.  _Cullen's amulet,_  she thought with a smile.

The boat landed softly on the dock on the other side of the lake and Sylina gave the tower one final look. Duncan looked at the sky.

"We will not be able to travel far today. I had thought it was earlier." He sighed and murmured. "The tower with its few windows." He turned to her. "We will stay at the tavern here for the night and start our journey in the morning." Sylina nodded. She realized she was still grinning like an idiot and tried to stop, but every time she managed to just wipe the smile off her face it would reappear. Everything she saw made her smile. The ground, the trees, even feeling the cold wind made her smile. She had never been able to feel the wind in the tower.

She followed Duncan to the Spoiled Princess. She chuckled at the name, wondering how it got it. The first thing she noticed was how loud it was inside. She put her hands over her ears. Why was everyone shouting? She wondered if they were fighting, or if something horrible had happened and they were all talking about it. Duncan saw her and chuckled. He walked up to the barman and left her by the entrance. She just looked around, shocked. With her hands still over her ears.

Finally Duncan returned and led them to their room. It had two small beds and a window. She smiled.  _No stone,_  she thought.  _Will I ever get tired of not having stone around me all day every day?_

She slept pitifully, her dreams waking her every few hours. Dreams of Jowan and Lily and the look of betrayal they had both given her. Dreams of the First Enchanter telling her he wanted to catch Lily red-handed. Dreams of Cullen's face as he turned from her, the sadness breaking her heart. It was a relief when Duncan rose and told her it was time to leave.

They left the tavern just as dawn was breaking. Sylina yawned and trudged after Duncan. While they were walking, he explained where they would be headed. "We are traveling south through the hinterlands to the ruins of Ostagar, on the edges of the Korcari Wilds." Sylina nodded. She had memorized a map of Ferelden when she was a child so she could put a name to the places she dreamt about. She thought of all the adventures she had had in her mind about running through the wilds with her trusty group of friends. She frowned, realizing she had forgotten most of their names. Except for Hesper. He had been her best friend in most of her daydreams as a child. He was always protecting her from evil. She realized she hadn't been paying attention to Duncan and when she turned to him he was still speaking. "...to prevent the Wilders from invading the northern lowlands."

"Mmhmm," she mumbled as they walked. Duncan looked at her and smiled.

"You did not get much sleep last night?" He asked it as a question, but she knew it was more of a statement. She nodded anyway. They walked in silence.

That night, Duncan gathered logs for a fire. He explained that they could not stay at the last village they passed because they "must keep moving to reach Ostagar as quickly as possible." Sylina only half heard him. Her feet and entire body was aching from the walk. She had done her best to keep up, but her feet were not used to walking so much and her shoes did not have the soles she needed. She sat on a log and rubbed the arch of her foot. She took off her slipper and looked at it. The seam was tearing. She sighed. It would likely not last another day.

"You need new shoes? Why didn't you say something?" Sylina looked up as Duncan appeared in the gloom of the dying sun.

"I...um...didn't want to bother you." She blushed and looked at the pile of logs he had gathered. "May I?" she asked. Duncan nodded and she cast a small fire spell to light the logs. They instantly burst into flame and Sylina inched closer.

"Tomorrow we will get you new shoes." He scoffed. "They don't even let you wear decent leather shoes." Sylina smiled. She had quickly realized that Duncan did not like the Circle or the templars, no matter how hard he had tried to keep it to himself.

He sat down on the ground near the fire and pulled out some dried beef. He handed her a stick and she took it. "What do you know of the Grey Wardens, Sylina?" he asked as he bit into the food.

She looked at him and then cast her gaze to the fire. "I know only what I read in a book once. I know that Grey Wardens fight darkspawn, they recruit people from all walks of life, and they stop at nothing to defeat the Blight. Oh and they used to ride Griffons." She smiled.

Duncan chuckled. She glanced at him and saw that he was looking at the flames, too. He shook his head. "The Chantry teaches us that it was the hubris of men that brought darkspawn into this world." He looked at her and she bit her lip and turned to look into the flames again. "The mages attempted to usurp heaven, but instead they destroyed it. They were cast out by the Maker, twisted and cursed by their own destruction. They returned as monsters, the first of the darkspawn." Duncan picked up a twig and threw it into the flames. "They became a Blight upon the lands, unstoppable and relentless. The dwarven kingdoms were the first to fall, and from the Deep Roads the darkspawn drove at us again and again until finally we neared annihilation." He sighed and looked up at the stars. Sylina looked up too, wondering if they would give him answers. "Until the Grey Wardens came. Men and women from every race, warriors and mages, barbarians and kings...the Grey Wardens sacrificed everything to stem the tide of the darkness...and prevailed." Sylina smiled. To her, Grey Wardens were legends and heroes. Duncan suddenly got up. "It has been four centuries since that victory and we have kept our vigil. We have watched and waited for the darkspawn to return." He shook his head again and turned from the fire, his voice dropping so that Sylina could barely hear it. "But those who once called us heroes...have forgotten. We are few now, and our warnings have been ignored for too long. It may even be too late..." He looked back at her. "You should sleep. We have a long walk tomorrow and we must stop and buy you proper shoes.

Sylina nodded and curled up near the fire. It was a long time before she slept and when she did, Duncan watched. He looked up at the stars and whispered: "I have seen with my own eyes what lies on the horizon." He looked back at the sleeping mage. "Maker help us all."

The next morning, Duncan woke her just as the light was beginning to creep over the hills. Sylina was surprised that she had actually slept throughout the night, but she supposed her body was so exhausted from the walk the day before that it had been too tired to dream. Sylina wondered if Duncan had slept at all. The man seemed invincible and relentless.

They walked south and Duncan bought her a pair of leather shoes in the very first village they passed through. "Thank you, I will...uh...find a way to repay you." Sylina blushed and looked down at her newly shoed feet. She had never had a coin to her name. Why would a Circle mage need money? She felt unprepared and didn't want to be an annoyance to Duncan.

"There is no need," Duncan stated simply and they continued their walk. Sylina and Duncan didn't speak much that day or the days that followed. Occasionally, Sylina would ask a question about a place; where they were, what the people were doing, what something was, and Duncan would answer, but mostly they just walked. Sylina was focused on keeping one foot in front of the other. Her entire body ached. Her sides hurt from sleeping on the ground night after night. Her feet had blisters on top of blisters. Her robes were muddied, but she refused to change them as her other robes would have only gotten dirty too. She felt miserable.  _Surely adventures are more glamorous than this?_  she thought.  _No story ever talks about the hero complaining of cramped backs or blisters._  She sighed. She didn't want to let Duncan down. He had stretched out a hand to her and given her this chance and she wanted him to see that she was capable. Though every step hurt and she winced when she sat down that night, she did not complain. She would be strong.

"We should reach Ostagar by the afternoon tomorrow," Duncan said as he came back from gathering wood. Sylina nodded, too exhausted to speak. When Duncan had set the wood down she lit the fire. Moving her arms to cast the spell hurt and she winced.

Duncan watched her, but didn't mention it and she was grateful to him for it. "Your magic will be useful against the darkspawn," Duncan said, handing her some dried beef and bread that he had bought in the last village.

After taking a bite, Sylina looked at Duncan. "Aren't there any Grey Warden mages now?"

Duncan glanced at her then returned his gaze to the fire and stretched his hands out to it, absorbing its warmth. "There are none in Ferelden at the moment."  
Sylina sighed. She had been hoping she would have a mage to talk to, or at least someone who would understand what she was going through. They were silent while they ate, both absorbed in their own thoughts. Sylina jumped when Duncan finally spoke. "Before I was Warden Commander in Ferelden, I knew a mage who was also a Grey Warden." He shook his head and Sylina watched him as a small smile appeared. "She was a remarkable woman...I don't know if I would be standing here if it wasn't for her."

Sylina smiled. "What was her name?" She was curious - what had happened to this mage Duncan spoke of? He spoke in the past tense so she wondered if the mage had died. Was she the reason he had such distaste for the Circle's workings?

"Fiona," Duncan said. A faraway look entered his eye, but he shook his head and it was gone. He nodded to her and then walked away from the fire into the night. Sylina sighed. Perhaps she had brought up painful memories for him. She curled up on the ground and sleep found her quickly.


	14. Chapter 14

As they approached Ostagar, Sylina found her breath taken away. It was beautiful. The high white stone arches and walls were a sight to behold. She wondered what it would have looked like were it not a ruin. Duncan saw her admiration for the place. "This is a fitting place to make our stand." Sylina nodded and craned her neck to try to see the top of the tower in the distance. She was smiling stupidly again, but she didn't care. "The King's forces have met the darkspawn several times so far, but the horde is here." He turned to her and caught her arm as she was standing on her tip toes to look at the buildings. "Sylina," he said, his voice bringing her back to the present. She turned to him. His face was set with a grim expression and he wore a slight frown. "We must defeat the darkspawn here," he continued, his voice urgent. He let go of her arm and motioned to the Wilds beyond the ruins. "If the Blight is not stopped here it will spread to the north and Ferelden will fall." He looked back at her. Sylina's eyes went round.

"Is it really so dire here?" she asked in a quiet whisper, worrying that if she spoke the words louder they might be true. Duncan opened his mouth to speak when a shout was heard. Sylina and Duncan looked toward the noise.

"Ho there! Duncan you have returned." A blonde man in golden armor was approaching them. Sylina felt her mouth hang open. He had guards on either side of him and a huge blade on his back.

Duncan seemed as shocked as her when she glanced at him. "Y-Your Majesty? I did not expect..." Duncan met the man halfway and shook his hand.

The king laughed. "You were not expecting a royal welcome?" He chuckled again and smiled at Duncan. Sylina couldn't breathe. She just stared at this man who was king.  _KING!_  she thought.  _The king of Ferelden. Here. Standing in front of me! Maker!_ She was completely missing the conversation going on between the two men and the next thing she knew, the king was walking toward her. She felt her brain leave her as complete shock settled in.

"I take it this is the promising new recruit I have heard about?" the king said smiling down at her. All she could do was stare at him with her mouth hanging open. Upon realizing what she was doing, her mouth closed with an audible snap.

Duncan stepped to her side. "Allow me to introduce you, your Majesty."

The King chuckled. "There is no need to be so formal, Duncan." His eyes twinkled as he looked at her. "Might I know your name my lady?"

Sylina blushed and tried to speak but only a sputter came out. She wanted to hit herself. She took a deep breath to steady herself. "My name is Sylina, your Majesty," she said, bowing her head slightly. She didn't want to be too informal. He was the king after all.

His smile widened and she blushed deeper. She suspected that her whole face was crimson. "I am pleased to meet you. I heard that you come from the Circle of Magi. You shall have some spells to help us in the coming battle then?"

 _Maker, why is he still talking to me?!_ she thought desperately. She nodded.

"Well, good. The Wardens are always willing to accept new recruits and I am happy to help them." He turned to his guards and Sylina sent a silent prayer of thanks to the Maker. "I have to cut this short. Loghain waits by my tent eagerly waiting to bore me with his strategies. We've won three battles against these monsters so far and our next battle should be no different."

Sylina looked up and glanced at Duncan. "Things are going well then?" she said and the king turned back to her. She wished she could shove her foot in her mouth.

He smiled back at her. "I don't know if this if even a true Blight." He sighed and glanced out towards the wilds. "There are many darkspawn, but we've yet to see any sign of an archdemon."

Duncan looked at the king. "You sound disappointed your Majesty."

The king chuckled. "Well, I had hoped for a battle like in the tales. A king riding to fight the evil darkspawn with the fabled Grey Wardens!" He shook his head and turned back to his guards with a frown. "I suppose this will do. I really must go. Loghain will likely send out a search party if I am not back soon." He turned to Duncan and Sylina. "Farewell, Grey Wardens," he said. With that, he walked away with his guards.

Sylina just stared after him. Did she really just meet the king of Ferelden? She shook her head. Perhaps she was still locked in the tower dreaming? If so, she had more of an active imagination than she thought.

Duncan turned to her. "What the king said was true."

Sylina stared at him and then shook her head trying to recall the conversation. "What?" she finally asked.

Duncan's eyebrows rose slightly. "That they have won several battles against the darkspawn so far."

"Ah, yes, that." Sylina nodded. "Well perhaps he is right? Maybe this isn't a Blight after all."

Duncan stroked his beard. "Some believe it is not, but I disagree." He started walking and Sylina caught up to him. "With each passing day the darkspawn horde grows larger. Tomorrow they may outnumber us." They had walked to a stone bridge and Duncan turned to her. "I know there is an archdemon behind this. Unfortunately, I cannot ask the king to act solely on my feeling."

Sylina's brow furrowed. "Why not? The king seems to regard Grey Wardens highly." She smiled - he almost reminded her of her own enthusiasm for them.

"I wish he would wait for the Grey Warden reinforcements from Orlais, then." Duncan sighed and looked across the bridge. "He believes our presence alone will win this war. But our numbers are too few. We will do what we can and look to Teyrn Loghain to make up the difference." He nodded to her. "We will proceed with the Joining ritual without delay." Duncan pointed across the bridge. "I have business to attend to. If you need me I will be on the other side of this bridge by the Grey Warden tents. You should rest, when you are ready find Alistair. He is another Grey Warden."

Sylina suddenly felt nervous. "Wait…I am just to wander around camp?"

Duncan had already started walking. He turned. "Just do not leave the camp for the time being. Until then, the time is yours." He then continued walking. Sylina watched him and bit her lip.

What in the Maker's name was she supposed to do now? She looked down at her tattered robes.  _Ugh, well I suppose my first order of business is cleaning myself up._  Sylina headed across the bridge.

Upon reaching the other side of the stone bridge, first admiring the fantastic view for several minutes, Sylina recognized a voice. For a second she froze and then a large smile broke across her face. She hurried quickly in the direction of the voice and when she rounded a corner she saw Senior Enchanter Wynne standing by a brightly colored tent.

"Wynne!" Sylina shouted as she walked up to the older mage.

Wynne turned to her and her eyes went wide in shock. "Sylina?" She shook her head, "What are you doing here, dear?" Then she paused. "Oh, the new Grey Warden recruit. That must be you then?" Wynne smiled at her. "Congratulations."

"Thank you." Sylina was beaming up at her old teacher.

"And congratulations are also in order for passing your Harrowing."

"Yes, it wasn't so bad," Sylina said, smiling shyly.

Wynne chuckled. "I see, so you know all there is to know now, do you?" She grinned at her old student. "Irving always said you were confident." Sylina chuckled, remembering Cullen saying something similar. "Becoming a Grey Warden then? Fighting alongside the King? Not too bad for a mage fresh out of apprenticeship."

Sylina nodded. "I only hope that I can prove worthy of Duncan's faith in me," she said quietly so only Wynne could hear her.

Wynne reached out and put her hand on Sylina's shoulder. "Child," she said. Sylina looked up at the older mage. "You have been taught well. I would know." A twinkle entered her eye. "Trust yourself and your skill and you will go far. Mages are always needed when fighting darkspawn. Perhaps you will even help stem this tide." She squeezed the younger woman's shoulder and a slight frown crossed her face. "Now, you are going to clean yourself up, yes? You look as if Duncan dragged you through the mud."

Sylina laughed. "I feel like he did. Do you know where I can wash up?"

Wynne nodded, "Of course. I have washing supplies in my tent. If you get water you can wash in there." A slight grin appeared. "Away from prying eyes, perhaps?" She chuckled and showed Sylina to her tent.

After washing up and putting on a new set of robes, Sylina felt much better. She had scrubbed every last piece of dirt off her. Wynne had said that she could repair the tears in her old robe so Sylina had left it with her. She smiled and started to explore the camp. There was a mother reciting the chant of light, a man selling wares to soldiers. She saw Duncan talking to some men by what she assumed was the Grey Warden tents.

As she was walking around, she heard soldiers talking about the upcoming battle. Some were saying that the next battle was supposed to drive the darkspawn back underground. Some were complaining about the dogs being muzzled, saying that it made them less effective during battle. Others were talking about how the Wilds gave them the creeps. Sylina made her way around. She listened to the people and enjoyed being out in the fresh air. She wondered if she would ever get used to being out of the tower, with the freedom to walk where she wanted.

Finally, she decided it might be time to find the man Duncan had told her to look for. Alistair, he had said. She looked around. Duncan hadn't exactly given her a description of the man. He could be anyone for all she knew. She sighed. Perhaps if she asked someone she would have a better idea of where to look.

She saw a guard outside a tent and approached him. "Um, hello," she said, smiling at him. "I was wondering if you could help me?"

The guard looked at her with disgust. "This is the tent of Teyrn Loghain. State your business."

Sylina was taken aback by his tone - he clearly didn't think highly of her. She frowned and set her jaw, determined not to back down. She definitely wasn't going to take that sort of attitude sitting down. "I merely wish for your help in locating someone. A Grey Warden by the name of Alistair. Have you seen him?"

"I am the guard to Teyrn Loghain. If you are not here for business, leave now."

Sylina ground her teeth. "I am not here to see Teyrn Loghain." She said his name louder than she expected. "I only wish..."

"Is someone looking for me?" A man walked out of the tent and Sylina felt her stomach drop.

 _Dear Maker, why does this keep happening to me?_  she thought and tried desperately to think of a way to disappear. He was a tall man with black hair and steel grey eyes that fixed her with a gaze that froze her insides. First the king and now the Hero of River Dane. She knew all about Loghain, having read all about him in a book. The way he had stopped the Chevaliers and earned his title, how he had been the last king's friend and was now Councilor to the current king. The man was a living legend. And he was standing a few feet away from her.

She tried to breathe, but felt like she might fall over at any minute from lack of air. Finally, she managed a small barely whispered. "I was looking for someone. A Grey Warden."

Loghain stared at her, his expression utterly unreadable.

Sylina couldn't tear her eyes from his cold ones. "I am looking for the Grey Warden Alistair." This time it came out coherent. She set her jaw. _No,_  she told herself.  _No. You will not fall down in front of this man. You will get a grip and find that Maker be damned Warden._

Loghain stayed silent, observing her, and Sylina wondered if she shouldn't just turn and walk away – well, run away, more like. Finally he said, "You are the new Grey Warden recruit?"

Sylina blinked. It wasn't what she was expecting, but it was better than him ordering his guard to carry her off and slay her. "I am," she said simply. She did not smile at him. She kept her jaw firm and met his gaze with her own. She would not back down. Not to this man. There was something about him that told her that if she backed down he would never respect her. He reminded her of the templars back in the tower. Sometimes it was better to ignore them, and sometimes it was better to fix them with the same gaze they gave you.

"Cailan is far too fascinated with the Grey Wardens. His father brought the order here. Did you know that?"

"I did," Sylina said. She didn't move, not even to fidget. She simply watched him.

Loghain nodded. "Maric respected Grey Wardens. He said they have an honored place in the hearts of our people. But he would have understood that legends do not win battles." He paused and he folded his arms. "You are from the Circle of Magi. I heard the First Enchanter recommended you himself. A great achievement for one so young." His eyes ghosted down her and she suppressed a shiver. Now she really did want to run away.

Setting her jaw once more and realizing that she was really growing to dislike this living legend, she said: "Yes. Now I must search for a Grey Warden..."

"Yes, Alistair." He held her gaze. "Last report said he was by the ruined chapel on the other side of here." He pointed.

She turned as if to go and stopped, turning back to him she asked: "Do you keep tabs on all the Grey Wardens, Ser?"

Loghain had not moved, nor had his eyes left her. He regarded her in silence and then turned and went back into his tent.


	15. Chapter 15

Sylina made her way to where Loghain had directed her and saw a man and mage talking. She approached hoping that if this man wasn't Alistair he would at least know where he was.

As she approached she heard the mage yell at the man, "What her Reverence desires is of no concern to me! I am already busy helping the Grey Wardens - by the king's orders, I might add! I do not have time for to run around on errands!" The mage's face was flushed red and Sylina wondered if she should leave and come back.

The younger man shrugged at the mage's anger. "Should I have asked her to write a note?" he asked innocently. Sylina looked from the younger man to the mage who was now turning an ugly shade of magenta.

"I will not be harassed in this manner!" he shouted, his hands coming up.

The younger man's eyebrows rose. "Yes, because I was harassing  **you**  by delivering a simple message."

The mage growled in frustration. "Your glibness does you no credit young man."

The younger man groaned. "And here I thought we were getting along so well. I planned on naming one of my children after you...the grumpy one."

The mage sputtered and threw up his hand. "Fine! I will go speak to the wretched woman!" He stormed by Sylina and the younger man saw her.

He smiled and walked toward her. "You know, one good thing about the Blight is how it brings people together."

Sylina blinked at him. "Excuse me?" she said, her brows furrowing. From what she had just seen, the mage was not any closer to this young man, and it had nothing to do with the Blight.

He chuckled. "Oh, I am just trying to look on the bright side of things." Then he seemed to actually see her. "Have we met? You don't happen to be another mage do you?"

Sylina blushed. "I...I am actually a mage, yes." She bit her lip and looked at him.

His eyes widened slightly and he surprised her by smiling. "Really? You don't look much like a mage." He seemed to realize what he had said and sputtered out. "I...uh...I mean...um. How interesting," he finally said. Then his brow furrowed. "Wait. Wait. I do know you." He smiled again. "You are Duncan's new recruit...from the Circle of Magi. Ha. I'm sorry I should have recognized you right away."

Sylina looked at him curiously. "Why would you recognize me? We have never met."

The man – Alistair, she realized – blushed. "Well, um...Duncan sent word. He spoke highly of you."

Now it was Sylina's turn to blush. Duncan had spoken highly of her? She had tried to show him on the way to Ostagar that she would be capable. It was shocking to find out he had spoken of her in such a way.

"I am Alistair, by the way. I am the new Grey Warden." Sylina smiled at him as he continued. "…though somehow I think you knew that," he said, grinning back at her. "As the newest Grey Warden it is my duty to see you and the other recruits through the Joining."

"I am Sylina. It is nice to finally meet you after running around camp for hours searching."

"Ah...hours?" Alistair asked grinning. "You didn't think to ask for directions?"

Sylina laughed. "I did! Though I think I picked the wrong tent." She shook her head. The last thing she wanted to think about was Teyrn Loghain.

Alistair chuckled and looked at her. "You know, I don't think there are many woman in the Grey Wardens. I wonder why?"

Sylina blinked but couldn't help herself from grinning. "Well there will be one soon. Why? Do you want more women around?"

Alistair blushed. "Um, well I mean, it wouldn't be a terrible idea." Sylina raised her eyebrows still grinning. "Not that I am some, you know, drooling lecher or anything." She gave him a questioning look and he blushed deeper. "Oh, Maker, please stop looking at me like that," he said quickly looking down at his feet.

Sylina laughed and Alistair looked up, smiling. Then, as if to change the topic, he asked: "Have you ever seen a darkspawn?"

Sylina's smile disappeared and Alistair frowned as if this hadn't been his intent. "No," she said, glancing at her feet, her hand straying to the chain around her neck. She wondered if that was a prerequisite for becoming a Grey Warden that Duncan hadn't told her. "I have not."

Alistair's voice softened. "When I fought my first one, no one could have prepared me for how monstrous it was." He shook his head. "I can't say I'm looking forward to encountering more."

Sylina looked up and met his eyes. They were warm and comforting. As if telling her he would be there for her. He smiled and she couldn't help but return it. "I suppose I will face that when I meet one for the first time then?" she said, blushing just a little.

"I suppose you will," he said. Suddenly, he looked up at the sky. "Come. We should go find the other recruits and meet Duncan. I know he is eager to get things started."

"Lead the way," she said, smiling at him.

He chuckled. "I have never been fond of leading." But he walked on ahead.

As they were walking out of the ruin she turned to him. "You and that mage were arguing. What was it about?"

Alistair looked at her. "Well the Circle is here at the king's request, as you know." He chuckled, "The Chantry doesn't like that. They love letting the mages feel unwelcome." Sylina bit her lip. "Puts me in a bit of an awkward situation, since I was once a templar."

Sylina stopped and stared at him. Alistair walked a few paces before he realized she had stopped. He turned around. "You were a templar?" she asked incredulously. She felt her breath come a little fast and told herself to calm down, but her mind was reeling. What if he hated mages, what if he would use his abilities on her to spite her, what if the only reason Duncan had recruited her was because he had a templar to control her? She took a step back from him.

Alistair's brows furrowed and he seemed confused by her reaction. "Well, the Chantry raised me before Duncan came along and recruited me six months ago, so yes. The revered mother sent me to deliver her message no doubt as an insult to the mage. And he picked up on that, as you saw. I wouldn't have delivered it, but Duncan wants us all to cooperate and get along." He shrugged. "I suppose they didn't get the same lecture." He was still looking at her, thoroughly perplexed.

"You...you hunted mages?" she asked, biting her lip.

Alistair's eyes went wide as if he suddenly understood what she was saying. "No," he said putting up his hands and shaking his head, "no, I didn't hunt mages. I never actually took my vows to be a templar."

Sylina breathed a sigh of relief and walked forward again. "So you don't have a problem with mages then? Or do you?" She eyed him.

He smiled. "No, I don't have a problem with mages, unless they want to zap me into a toad.  _Then_  I might have a problem with them."

Sylina chuckled and felt relief go through her. "Well, I will try to keep the zapping to a minimum then."

Alistair laughed. "That would be much appreciated."

They walked out of the ruined temple and down the path. "Ah, that's Daveth up ahead. We should tell him it is time to meet with Duncan," Alistair said, heading toward a man with dark hair and a bow on his back. As he approached, a female soldier was walking away.

"I'll just take that as a no then," the man said after her and then turned and smiled at them as they approached. "Well," he said looking at Sylina, "you're not what I was expecting."

Sylina was taken aback. "You were expecting me to be something else?"

He almost purred. "Definitely not a beautiful woman." She heard Alistair groan behind her and suppressed a small smile. "It's about time you got here. I was beginning to think the ritual was all a hoax made to scare us."

Sylina glanced at Alistair who was looking over at the merchant's wares and lowered her voice. "What do you know about it?" she asked. Daveth grinned at her.

"I know a little. Last night..." Daveth began in a whisper and Alistair turned to them.

"Hey now, come on. Let's get over to Duncan. You shouldn't talk about the ritual," Alistair said, trying his very hardest to sound stern.

Daveth looked up at Alistair and whispered to her. "We will talk about it another time." Then, he headed toward the Grey Warden tents. Sylina smiled after him.

"Come on, I think I saw Ser Jory over by the Chantry sister," Alistair said, heading in that direction. Sylina followed him.

The man Alistair headed over to was obviously a soldier and had a receding hair line. Sylina walked beside Alistair as they approached.

"Ser Jory," Alistair said.

The man turned around and saw Sylina. "You must be the last recruit?" Sylina nodded. "We have been waiting for your arrival. I am Ser Jory from Redcliffe. I was a knight under the command of Arl Eamon." He looked at her. "I did not know the Grey Wardens allowed women into their ranks. I have not seen any so far."

Sylina stiffened and her eyes flashed. "Is there a problem with my being a woman, Ser Jory?" she asked, her voice cold. Alistair shifted beside her.

Ser Jory hesitated. "Well, you impressed Duncan. I know that is not easy. That is all I care about. Now if you will excuse me, I will go see Duncan and we can start this ritual." He walked past them and Sylina glowered after him.

Alistair chuckled. "Remind me not to get on your bad side."

They walked down the path toward the Grey Warden tents when Sylina heard barking. She stopped and walked toward it.

"What are you doing?" Alistair asked, following her.

"I've never seen a dog before," she said as she came up to the fence of the kennel and looked in.

Alistair stared at her. "Y-You've never seen a dog before? Never?" She turned from the dog to see him staring open mouthed at her.

"They don't allow dogs in the tower, Alistair," she said simply. "There was once a cat. And a bird that somehow got in, but that's it." She turned back to the dog. It was whimpering and Sylina felt the sound rip through her. She frowned.

"Hmmm. He's not looking any better. I would hate to waste such a promising member of the breed." Sylina turned around to see a man walking up to the fence.

"Who are you?" she asked.

"I am the Kennel-Master, you the new Warden? Maybe you could help me," he said leaning against the fence.

"I...I am afraid I don't know anything about dogs," she said, biting her lip and looking at the suffering animal although now she sorely wished she did.

The Kennel-Master smiled at her. "You don't need to know anything. And this isn't a dog. It's a Mabari. They are smart, strong and loyal." He sighed. "His owner died in battle and he drank some darkspawn blood. I have medicine that could help, but I need him muzzled first. Perhaps you could help?"

Sylina looked at the Mabari. "I...I don't know." She turned to Alistair. "Maybe Alistair can help you, he knows more about dogs…I mean Mabari."

Alistair took a step back. "Nope, no, that's not a good idea. Dogs and I disagree on certain things." He looked at her. Sylina was fiddling with the chain around her neck. "You do it. It'll be good for you, and like he said, Mabari are smart. I bet he'll love you." He smiled at her.

Sylina looked back at the Mabari in the pen. "Okay, I'll do it."

The Kennel-Master handed her a muzzle. "Just go in there and let him smell you. We will know right away if he will respond."

Sylina took the muzzle and opened the pen door. As soon as she entered, the Mabari stood up to look at her. She held her breath. She could feel the power of the animal. She met the dog's eyes and saw that he understood she wasn't going to harm him. Her heart broke for the animal. She took a step forward and slipped the muzzle on. He whimpered when she was done and she patted him on the head, "You stay strong, you hear?" she whispered and got up.

"Good, now I can begin treating him." The Kennel-Master walked into the pen.

"See that wasn't so hard, was it," Alistair said, smiling at her.

They started to walk away when the Kennel-Master called back: "Hey, are you headed into the Wilds anytime soon?"

Sylina shrugged. "I don't know."

"Well if you do there is a flower that will improve his chances. It grows by the swamps. It is all white with a blood red center. Very distinctive."

"I will keep my eye out," she said, and Alistair motioned for them to get going.


	16. Chapter 16

Alistair sat down at the fire and, breathing a sigh of relief, stretched his legs out toward it. He felt his muscles loosen and did his best not to yawn. He closed his eyes and leaned back against a log, soothed by the warmth emitting from the fire. He sighed. Today had been interesting, he thought. It had started like any day so far until...His eyes opened and strayed to the other side of the fire where the recruits were whispering to each other…well, Daveth and Sylina were whispering while Ser Jory stared solemnly into the fire. He guessed what they were talking about.

Duncan had told them all that they would be headed into the Wilds tomorrow to get three vials of darkspawn blood and some ancient Grey Warden treaties. Alistair groaned as he shifted his weight. He was not looking forward to it. He didn't like the idea of being responsible for the three recruits, but Duncan had told him it was tradition for the newest Grey Warden to prepare recruits for their Joining and to help train them after they had made it...if they made it. Alistair was more worried about what mistakes he could make tomorrow. What if he got them lost? What if one of them got hurt? What if he lost his pants? What if darkspawn snuck up on them? Well, okay, that last one wasn't likely to happen while he was there, but still. So many things could go wrong, and he didn't want any of them to fail.

He watched as Daveth leaned in closely to whisper in Sylina's ear and the mage's eyes went wide. She gaped at him and then whispered something back, worry etched on her face. Alistair watched the way she bit her lip and how her hand strayed up to her neck to fiddle with the chain hanging there. His eyes roamed over her face with her clear green eyes that told exactly what she was thinking and to her hair that was as dark as Duncan's – and yet, her skin was so pale in comparison. He wondered if it was because she had been stuck inside her whole life.

He watched as Daveth began to tell a story - from the way his hands moved, Alistair could tell it was the one where he had cut Duncan's purse and ended up being recruited to the Grey Wardens. Sylina rested her chin on her hand, a small amused smile on her lips. Alistair noticed the ring on her finger - the Circle ring. He wondered what her life had been like, in the Circle. He had heard stories about some of the things that happened to apprentices there. But she seemed so happy…? Surely nothing bad could have happened to her.  _Yes, Alistair, I am sure her life was roses and daises. Because she couldn't be happy now because she is away from there you, idiot!_  he thought to himself.

He frowned. What if something had happened? Duncan had said he nearly had to invoke the Rite of Conscription on her. Was that the reason she had reacted the way she did when finding out he was a templar? Alistair frowned. Perhaps she did not trust templars - not that he would expect her to, given that she came from a prison filled with them. But the thought that she would distrust or even hate him over it made Alistair sad.  
He sighed and got up. Sylina looked up at him and their eyes met. She wore a small smile that didn't fade as she looked at him. Alistair suddenly found himself grinning like a fool.  _Perhaps she doesn't hate me after all?_  Her eyes were amused as she watched him.

Alistair tried to bring his grin under control and cleared his throat. The other two recruits looked up at him. "We will be leaving early tomorrow morning. I suggest you all try to get some rest."

Sylina nodded, still watching him, and he heard Daveth murmur, "Easy for you to say." Alistair almost laughed - if he only knew. He shook his head as he walked off. There would be little sleep for him tonight.

"Watch over your charges, Alistair," Duncan said, meeting them at the entrance to camp early the next morning. "Return quickly and be safe."

Alistair nodded and looked at the three recruits. "We will Duncan."

"Maker watch over you," Duncan said, and nodded to them.

Alistair led them out of camp and in the general direction of the ancient Grey Warden outpost. If they retrieved the Grey Warden documents first then they could look for darkspawn, though by the feeling he was getting, they would have no problem locating them.

"Alistair." Alistair looked down at the woman striding next to him and smiled. She had tied her hair back, but some of the bangs kept falling in her eyes and she would push them back.

"Yes?" he said, watching her as she bit her lip and fidgeted.

She took a deep breath. "I was...well I was just wondering...I mean I know Grey Wardens are important and all, but..." She paused and looked up at him. He was trying to keep himself from grinning and he doubted he was all that successful.

"Go on," he prompted.

"Well, what makes Grey Wardens so special?" she asked timidly.

Alistair laughed and saw Sylina blush. "Well, for starters we are excellent warriors. Every time darkspawn have threatened to destroy the world Grey Wardens have been the ones who lead mankind to victory. Not to mention there is no one who knows more about darkspawn than the Grey Wardens and we are the best equipped to deal with them." He smiled down at her and saw confusion in her eyes.

"So you are...like knights? Or...heroes?" A tiny smile touched her lips before she hid it and Alistair felt warmth wash over him. Maker help him. He had known her less than a day and he already felt some affection for the young innocent mage who bit her lip and fidgeted with the thin chain around her neck.

He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "Well...I don't know if I would say heroes." She looked up at him with concern and he plunged on. "I mean...it's not that we don't do good things – we do – it's just...well. Duncan once told me that Grey Wardens are willing to do whatever is necessary to bring victory."

"I don't understand," Sylina said, her brows furrowed.

"Well...perhaps it's best not to speak of it." She did not look happy with his answer, but stayed quiet. They walked further into the Wilds. Alistair was aware of darkspawn on the edge of his consciousness.

"Over here! Please...help me!" Sylina saw Alistair head quickly in the direction of the voice. As she approached she saw a man lying on the ground holding his side. "Grey...Wardens?" the man asked, looking up at Alistair.

Alistair bent over him and then looked at Sylina. "He's not half as dead as he looks. Do you have anything that might help?"

Sylina bent down and examined the man's wounds quickly. "I am not very good at healing, but I can try to help stop some of the bleeding."

"We were...attacked by darkspawn," the man mumbled as Sylina crouched by his side with Alistair. She looked up at Alistair and saw confusion in his eyes. He was looking at her.

"What are you waiting for? Use your magic! You said you could help!" Alistair said loudly, irritation in his voice, looking from her to the man.

Sylina started and turned back to the man. She had been waiting for a sign from Alistair to heal him. She did not normally perform complex spells without supervision or being told when to. She felt odd and nervous, like this was her first time casting. As if any second, should she make a mistake, Alistair would smite her and leave her alone in the Wilds. The idea made her shiver and she almost lost control of her spell. She healed a few of the man's wounds and Alistair bent down next to her. He handed her a bandage and she didn't look at him. She bandaged the man up.

"I...I have to get to camp," the man said. Alistair helped him up. He stumbled away.

Sylina remained on her knees. Alistair turned to look at her. He hesitated. "Sylina?" he asked. She bent her head and didn't look at him. He looked to Daveth who shrugged and turned away. Alistair kneeled down next to her and put his hand on her shoulder. She stiffened. "Sylina, come on. We have a task to complete." Sylina nodded and stood up, throwing his hand off of her. She refused to look at him and stared out into the swamps.

Alistair sighed, taking a step toward her and lowering his voice. "Listen. I am sorry if I sounded harsh. I was just...I apologize." Sylina finally looked up at him. He looked worried and a little anxious. She nodded and walked on.

They had been walking for a few minutes when Sylina heard Ser Jory whisper to Daveth. "An entire patrol of seasoned men killed by darkspawn! This is reckless!" Daveth looked at the man and shrugged. Alistair stopped and turned to Ser Jory.

"We are in no danger as long as we are careful."

Ser Jory's voice rose. "You don't think those soldiers were careful? We may be able to fight off many darkspawn just the four of us, but there is an entire army in these forests!"

Alistair sighed. "There are darkspawn around, but we are in no danger of encountering the bulk of the horde."

"And I am supposed to just take your word on that? I am not a coward, but this mission is foolish and reckless. We should go back."

Sylina glared at the knight, remembering his comment about her being a woman yesterday. He didn't see her fretting like an old woman did he? "You sound like a coward to me," she said harshly. Alistair turned to her with raised eyebrows.

"I am only trying to stay alive!" Ser Jory said, turning to her. He ground his teeth and turned back to Alistair. "But I will not flee."

Alistair looked at Sylina. "Fear is natural. Darkspawn are not particularly pleasant, especially the first time you meet them. You should not be eagerly awaiting your first introduction." Sylina looked away, not meeting his eyes. She found herself still a little angry at him over his outburst earlier. He had made it sound like she should just know when to do her magic - that she should just trust that he wouldn't strike her down.

"I didn't say I was," she said stubbornly, setting her jaw and meeting Alistair's eyes.

Alistair shook his head and turned back to Ser Jory. "Know this. All Grey Wardens can sense darkspawn. I will make sure we are not surprised."

"Well, there you go Ser Jory. Even if we die, we will at least be warned about it," Daveth said, smiling. "Shall we get a move on then?"


	17. Chapter 17

They had been walking for an hour, Alistair leading them, when suddenly he stopped. "We won't be able to get around them," he said quietly to himself. He looked back at them and sighed. "Alright, there are darkspawn ahead. We will have to fight them to get through. Be ready."

Sylina looked at Daveth and Ser Jory. Ser Jory's face was white and, though Daveth looked calm, he gripped his bow with white hands. She took out her staff. She assured herself that she was ready. She had fought demons and spirits. She could defeat darkspawn. Her heart beat fast and she felt her palms get sweaty.

Alistair nodded and they began walking forward. When they rounded a bend Sylina saw the darkspawn. There were three of them. Large. As tall as humans, with horrible wide mouths and black eyes. Their skin looked like rotting flesh and, even from where she was, she could smell their reeking stench. The darkspawn saw them at almost the same moment and a howl was sounded. The three darkspawn ran at the humans. Alistair had sword and shield in hand and Sylina took a few steps back to give her spells room. On the nearest one, she cast a simple ice spell which froze him in his tracks. Alistair took two quick steps and sliced open his midriff. The other darkspawn descended on Ser Jory and Daveth. Sylina cast an arcane bolt at Daveth's darkspawn when she saw an opening and the darkspawn went down. She turned to help Ser Jory, but he had dispatched the thing's head. Alistair nodded.

"Three darkspawn. Three vials." He handed them each a vial and Sylina grimaced. Alistair grinned at her.

"Not feeling squeamish, I hope?" he teased. She glared up at him and took the vial.

They continued walking, encountering a few more darkspawn which were dispatched as easily as the first three. Sylina was starting to feel confident that these things could be killed. She even laughed at a joke Daveth told about Duncan being fast for an old man. As they walked, Sylina noticed a structure up ahead. "Is that the Warden base?" she asked, pointing to a structure on top of a hill. Alistair followed her gaze.

"I believe so…or, at least if my directions were any good, it should be," he said. As they began walking up the hill, Alistair stopped. "There are quite a few darkspawn up there." He closed his eyes for a second. "Ten, I believe. Maybe more."

Sylina scoffed. "Only ten." She glanced at him, smiling. "Are they clustered?" she asked.

He looked curiously at her. "Yes, about twenty paces up ahead."

She nodded. "Perfect. Now stay back and watch what mages can do." She advanced, and Alistair and the other two stayed back behind her. When she looked around the corner, she saw them. She could almost laugh except she was much too nervous. She had never performed a spell this large, but she knew how. She took a deep breath and stepped out into the darkspawn's line of vision. The darkspawn immediately turned to her and she threw up her arms and began summoning a fireball. The darkspawn were running toward her and Alistair leapt out of cover, afraid they would overtake her, when she released the fireball. It was about the size of her person and rolled along the ground, running over the grouped darkspawn.

For a second, Alistair could only stare at the huge ball of fire as it demolished the darkspawn in its path. Then he saw Sylina, slumped to her knees, obviously exhausted. He also saw two darkspawn who had not been hit by the flames running toward her. Sword and shield in hand, he managed to get himself between her and the darkspawn, cutting the first down. He rounded on the second as it was inches from him and saw it fall to the ground an arrow in its neck. He nodded at Daveth who was scanning for more darkspawn. Alistair turned to see Sylina getting up.

She had a small sheen of sweat on her forehead and was breathing heavily. That aside, she was absolutely grinning from ear to ear. "Did you see that!" she yelled triumphantly. "It was huge!" She laughed and Alistair couldn't keep himself from grinning.

"Well that's one way to kill darkspawn," he said. "Are you going to be alright?" She was still a little wobbly, but she nodded and continued to smile.

"Let's find those documents and get out of here, shall we?" she said, walking up the slope. Alistair put his hand out to steady her, but she just laughed and waved him away.

They walked into the ruined fort and Sylina saw a chest that had obviously been broken open. She walked toward it. "Is this the chest that is supposed to be sealed and protected?" she asked, looking expectantly at Alistair.

"Well, well, what have we here?" Sylina heard a voice from above and jumped back from the chest, alarmed. Alistair stiffened and looked to the stairs where a woman was descending. "Are you a vulture, I wonder? A scavenger, poking amidst a corpse whose bones were long since cleaned?" The woman finished her descent and walked closer to the party. "Or are you merely an intruder, come into these darkspawn infested Wilds of mine in search of easy prey?" She was looking directly at Sylina. The woman had dark hair like hers and golden, animal like eyes. Sylina also knew immediately that this woman was a witch. "So what will it be, scavenger or intruder?"

Sylina hesitated, confused that this woman would address the question to her. She looked at Alistair, whose eyes were narrowed, but he said nothing. "I believe the Grey Wardens owned this tower. As I come in Grey Warden company, I am neither."

The woman gestured to the ruin. "This is no longer a Grey Warden tower. It is merely a desiccated corpse." She watched Sylina, her eyes not even straying to the others. She folded her arms and fixed Sylina with an intense gaze. "I have watched your progress through the Wilds for some time. Where do they go? I wondered. Why are they here?" She pointed to the broken chest. "And now you disturb the corpse of something long since forgotten. Why?"

Alistair shifted and Sylina looked at him. "Don't talk to her," he whispered. "She must be Chasind and that means there are others nearby."

The woman sneered at Alistair as if seeing him for the first time. "You fear barbarians will appear and swoop down upon you?"

Alistair glared at her. "Yes. Swooping is bad."

Daveth came closer to Sylina. "She is a witch of the wilds," he whispered. "Very dangerous."

The woman turned her sneer onto Daveth and chuckled. "Witch of the Wilds? Mere legends and idle fancies. Do you have no mind of your own?" She turned back to Sylina. "But women do not frighten like these boys. Tell me your name and I shall tell you mine."

Sylina looked at the witch. She knew she was powerful. She could feel the magic emanating from her. And it was likely that the witch could feel the same from her. "I am Sylina," she said simply.

"And I am Morrigan," the witch replied with an amused smile. "So shall I guess your purpose here? You seek something that was in that chest, something here no longer?"

Alistair took a step forward. "Here no longer? You stole it, didn't you? You're some kind of...sneaky...witch-thief!"

Sylina and Morrigan rolled their eyes at the same time, but the witch spoke first. "You are very eloquent. But tell me, how does one steal from dead men?"

"Quite easily, it seems," Alistair retorted. "Those documents are Grey Warden property and I demand you return them," he said, his voice hard.

Morrigan scoffed. "I will not, for 'twas not I who took them. That name means nothing here any longer and does nothing to frighten me."

Sylina sighed. "Perhaps we should just go, Alistair. We can tell Duncan that the documents were not here."

"If you wish to know who removed them, you merely had to ask. 'Twas my mother," Morrigan said, looking at Sylina with a spark of curiosity in her eyes that was quickly extinguished.

Sylina looked at the witch, contemplating what to do. "Perhaps you can take us to your mother then?" she suggested.

The witch smiled. "A sensible request. I like you. Follow me."

Alistair moved closer to Sylina as they started to follow the witch. "Be careful. First it's: 'I like you,' then zap! Toad time." Sylina couldn't keep a laugh from bubbling up and she grinned at Alistair as Morrigan started to walk away.

"Don't forget I have my own zapping I can do," she said, chuckling.

"Point taken," Alistair said, grinning back at her as they followed the mage.


	18. Chapter 18

They walked deeper into the Wilds and Sylina began to get nervous the farther they traveled. Finally, they reached a small hut with an old woman sitting outside it. The woman stood up as they approached and Morrigan began speaking to her. "Hello Mother, here are four Grey Wardens who..."

"I have eyes girl. I can see them." She examined them, her eyes roving over them. Finally, she stopped at Sylina. "Much as I expected," she said.

"We are supposed to believe you were expecting us?" Alistair said, amused.

The old woman fixed him with a stare. "You are required to do nothing, least of all believe. Shut one's eyes tight or open one's arms wide...either way one's a fool!" She laughed.

"She's a witch. We shouldn't be talking to her. We should leave," Daveth whispered, fidgeting in the back.

"Shut up. If she's a witch, we don't want to make her mad," Ser Jory whispered back and for once, Sylina agreed with him.

"Well there is a smart lad," the old woman said, motioning to Ser Jory. "Largely irrelevant to the greater scheme, but I do not decide." She approached Sylina. "Tell me, does your woman's mind give you a different viewpoint? Or do you believe as these boys do?"

Sylina shook her head - why was it that the witches wanted her opinion? "You are a witch, I can feel that," she said. "But that is all I know."

"Accepting your limitation is possessing knowledge," the old woman told her. She took another step toward her. "There is so much about you that is uncertain. Yet I believe. Do I? Well it seems I do."

"So this is a dreaded Witch of the Wilds?" Alistair said, suppressing a grin.

"Bah! Witch of the Wilds. Has Morrigan been filling your heads with fancy tales? She has such a vivid imagination. Oh, how she dances under the moon." The old woman laughed and Sylina saw Morrigan put her hand on her head.

"Mother, they did not come to listen to your tales."

"Yes, they came for their treaties. And before you begin barking, I kept them safe when your seal wore off long ago." The old woman procured the treaties from her pocket and handed them to Alistair.

"Y-you kept them safe? Oh, um, thank you," Alistair said, taking the treaties gingerly in his hands.

"Of course I did. Take them back to the Grey Wardens and tell them this Blight's threat is greater than they realize! But do not mind me. You have what you came for."

"Now you can go," Morrigan said.

The old woman scoffed. "You are being ridiculous girl. They are your guests. Show them out."

Morrigan looked at her mother. "Fine, this way." She walked away from the hut. Sylina and the three men followed her. As Sylina looked back, she saw the old woman grinning at their retreating backs. As they were heading out of the Wilds Sylina suddenly shouted, "Oh look!" and hurried over to a log.

"'Tis a flower. Now let's keep moving," Morrigan said briskly, continuing to walk. Alistair walked up to where Sylina was and saw the flower in question. It was white with a red center.

"That's the flower the Kennel-Master was asking about," Alistair said. Sylina picked it and slipped it inside her robes. She smiled up at him and nodded. They hurried along to catch up to Morrigan.

When they got back to camp, Sylina hurried over to the Kennel-Master and gave him the flower. He thanked her profusely and she smiled and walked back to Duncan. When she arrived, Duncan nodded. "Good, you are all back. We can proceed with the Joining immediately." Sylina felt suddenly nervous. She looked at Alistair, but he did not meet her eyes. "Alistair, take them to the old temple," Duncan said.

As they walked across camp, Daveth walked next to her, "How dangerous is this ritual?"

"I do not know," she whispered back.

When they reached the temple, Ser Jory started to twitch. "I do not like this, all the secrets, the tests. Have I not earned my place as a Grey Warden? And why is this Joining such a secret? Is it dangerous? Will it kill us?"

Duncan walked in holding a chalice. "I will not lie to you," he said, looking at Ser Jory. "There is a heavy price to becoming a Grey Warden. Fate may decide that you pay that price now rather than later."

Sylina bit her lip and looked at Alistair. He met her eyes and she saw worry in them. He looked away to Duncan. Her breath started to come in fast.

"The Grey Wardens were founded during the first Blight, when humanity stood on the verge of annihilation. So it was that the first Grey Wardens drank of darkspawn blood and mastered their taint." Duncan advanced, holding the chalice out. Sylina almost thought she could smell the darkspawn blood. Her eyes were wide and her mouth opened.

Ser Jory took a step back. "You want us to drink the blood of...of those monsters?"

"This is the source of our power and our victory," Duncan said firmly, motioning with the chalice.

Alistair spoke and Sylina turned to him. She was finding it hard to think. "Once you drink the blood, those who survive will be immune to its taint. We use that to sense the darkspawn and kill the archdemon." Alistair turned to look at her and her breath hitched. His eyes were sad. She looked away.  _Those who survive._

"Those who survive?" Daveth asked, looking at Duncan.

Duncan nodded. "Some who drink the blood do not survive. Those who do are forever changed. This is why the Joining is a secret. This is the price we pay." Duncan nodded to Alistair. "Let us begin."

Alistair looked at the three recruits and sighed. His eyes rested on Sylina as he started speaking the words of the Joining. "Join us, brothers and sisters. Join us in the shadows where we stand vigilant. Join us as we carry the duty that cannot be forsworn. And should you perish, know that your sacrifice will not be forgotten and that one day we shall join you."

Sylina looked at Alistair, watched as his emotions played across his face: fear, sadness, regret. She couldn't tear her eyes away until she heard Duncan say, "Daveth step forward." She looked over as Daveth put the chalice to his lips. One second the liquid was going down his throat and the next he was writhing on the ground. Duncan bent down and Sylina saw the last breath escape Daveth's lips.

Ser Jory was backing away. "Maker help us," Ser Jory said. "You are mad! I will not do this." Sylina went to step forward, but Alistair put out his hand, stopping her. Suddenly, Ser Jory's blade was in his hand. "This is not honorable," he said.

"There is no turning back. The Joining is not yet complete," Duncan said, his hand going to the blade at his side. Suddenly, Ser Jory lunged at him. Sylina tried to put her hands up to cast a spell, but Alistair grabbed them. She saw Duncan grab his sword and dodge Ser Jory's first attack. With a quick stab, Ser Jory went down and Duncan slid his blade across his throat.

Sylina's heart was racing. Duncan had just killed Ser Jory! She had been wanting to stun him, to freeze him even, something to stop this. But now he was dead. Her eyes went to Daveth, lying dead on the ground. They were both dead. She gulped as Duncan came toward her. She wanted to back away, to run, but her feet were rooted to the spot.

"You are called upon to submit yourself to the taint for the greater good," Duncan said, handing her the chalice. She stared at it and with shaking hands she took it. Looking down into the blood, she saw it swirling menacingly. She took a deep breath and put it to her lips.

Alistair watched as Sylina took a drink. Duncan took the chalice from her and her hands went to her head. Her body was shaking and her knees buckled. Before she could hit the ground, Alistair caught her. Her body was writhing slightly and he gently lowered her to the ground, his arms holding her. She was breathing fast and her eyes looked up at the sky, white as snow. He sent a prayer to the Maker that she would make it.

He held her for what felt an eternity before her eyes closed. He looked up at Duncan who knelt down beside him. He nodded. "She has made it." Alistair breathed for the first time since she had taken the sip. He looked down at her and, when he looked up again, Duncan was examining him with critical eyes. "Alistair," he warned.

"W-what?" Alistair blushed and his eyes found their way to the now sleeping mage. Duncan sighed.

"Take her to her tent. She will sleep for a little while. When she wakes come find me." Duncan got up and strode toward camp.

Alistair watched him leave and felt a little helpless. He knew what Duncan's warning had been about. He knew that Duncan would talk to him about it later, but as he watched Sylina's breathing go back to normal, he couldn't suppress a smile. He lifted her easily enough and walked her back to her tent. He was glad one of them had made it through the Joining, and if he was honest with himself, he would say he was happiest it was her. He looked down at her face. She looked so peaceful, as if the most traumatic event of her life had not just happened.

When he reached her tent her lowered her onto her bedroll and, for a moment, just watched her sleep. He was about to leave when he thought about Duncan's last request. To let him know when she had awoken. Well surely if he sat in her tent for a bit he would see when she started to stir and he could leave. He smiled to himself, thinking this was the greatest plan ever.

He didn't know how long he sat there, yawning, before he lay next to her. He figured he would close his eyes, for a moment, and when he felt her stir he would leave. Next thing he knew he heard a gasp.

"Alistair!"

His eyes flung open and when he saw a hand in front of his eyes he grabbed it. He rolled pinning the unknown monster under him before he heard a squeal. Alistair blinked.

"Flaming Andraste! Sylina I am so sorry!" Alistair jumped up off of her and hit the wall of the tent. The poles holding it snapped the fabric fell around them. He sat there as the fabric shrouded him. He heard laughing from somewhere off and felt his face go crimson. Then something bumped into him as it tried to get out of the ruined tent.

"Oh ow." The head bumped into his chest and he looked down. Sylina had been moving around the now fallen tent and looked up at him blinking. "Alistair," she said, her eyes round. "Wha-what happened? Where are we?" She put her hand on his chest to steady herself and looked around. "Is this my tent?" she asked, looking back at him. Alistair was finding it difficult to breathe. She was very close to him, with the remains of the tent ensnaring them. His heart was beating rapidly and all he could do was stare at her. She blinked at him and snapped her fingers in front of his face. "Alistair? Are you okay?" She sighed, putting her hand out and conjuring up a small blue flame.

"Sylina! Wh-what are you doing!" He put his hand up thinking she would light the entire tent with them in it on fire. Instead she sliced a hole in the fabric and crawled out. He looked at the singed edges and then at her. The fabric was still sitting on his head.

Sylina got up from the ground and brushed her robe off then looked back at him. She laughed. Her hands went to her knees as she giggled and gasped for breath. He just stared at her until she finally wiped the tears from her eyes. "You...haha…Alistair, you look ridiculous. Get out of that tent!" she said.

He shook his head and crawled out of the tent. When he had finally escaped its clutches he looked at the pile of fabric that used to be Sylina's tent. Sylina walked up beside him. He glanced at her and her face was suddenly serious. "I-I can't believe what happened." She looked down at her hands and then buried her head in them. Alistair reached out and touched her shoulder. "Ser Jory...and Daveth...they died," he heard her whimper.

"In my Joining only one of us died," Alistair said, squeezing her shoulder, "but it was...horrible. I-I am glad that you at least made it." Sylina looked up at him and he gave her a reassuring smile. He saw the unshed tears in her eyes. "Did you have dreams?" Sylina nodded slowly looking at the ground. "I had terrible dreams after my first Joining. Duncan says it is another part of being a Grey Warden."

"A-another part?" she mumbled.

Alistair squeezed her shoulder again. "There will be time for that later. Duncan wanted to see you when you awoke." Sylina just stared at the ground so Alistair found himself leading her to where he knew Duncan would be.


	19. Chapter 19

After speaking with Duncan, Sylina was informed that he would be going to a meeting with the king that evening and that her presence was requested. She internally groaned, but agreed to meet him there. Then, metaphorically grabbing Alistair by the scruff of the neck, she told him to fix her tent. He stuttered and stammered, but agreed. While she waited for the meeting and for her tent to be fixed she sat in front of the fire. She was still trying to process everything that had happened that day.

That morning she had woken up, one of three Grey Warden recruits, and as evening fell she was the only one who still lived. Sylina shivered and moved herself closer to the fire. She had eventually found food and ate what she was sure was the biggest meal of her life. She wrapped her arms around her legs and sighed, staring into the flames. They had both died. Ser Jory and Daveth. They had been warriors, men with skill, and yet they were dead; and she, the mage, the girl who knew nothing about this world she was cast into, she had survived.

"Come. It is time." Sylina looked up and saw Duncan. He nodded to her and she got up and followed him to the meeting with the king.

During the meeting Sylina stayed quiet and tried to melt into the shadows. The king barely glanced at her, but she felt the Teyrn's gaze fall on her several times. When the king announced that Grey Warden's would light the torch signaling the Teyrn's men to attack Sylina had nodded and said it would be an honor. The king had smiled and said the battle would be glorious.

However, Alistair was less than thrilled with this. "Why don't I get to be in the battle? Sylina can light the signal fire herself surely?" he asked after Duncan had explained the plan.

"This is a personal request of the king, it is an important task and needs to be done," Duncan said, looking over Alistair. "The battle will begin tomorrow, so I suggest you both get some rest. I will go join the others in the valley." Duncan looked from Alistair to Sylina. "From here on, you two are on your own. Remember, you are both Grey Wardens. I expect you to be worthy of that title. Should we have need of you, we will send word." Duncan nodded to them and turned to leave.

"D...Duncan," Alistair started, taking a step forward. Sylina saw that he was worried. Duncan paused and looked back at Alistair. "Maker watch over you."

Duncan nodded. "Maker watch over all of us," he said, taking his leave.

That night, Sylina stayed up and watched the fire with Alistair. He was still bitter over not being allowed in the battle, but Sylina tried to make him see reason. "Come now, we have an easy task to do, but it is an important one. You heard Duncan. That, and the king asked for us personally. You should feel honored," she said, smiling at him.

Alistair huffed. "Well if the king asks me to put on a dress and dance the Remigold, that's it, I'm drawing the line."

Sylina giggled. "That might be interesting to see," she said, eyeing Alistair.

He blushed and smiled shyly. "Well, perhaps I would do it for you...but it would have to be...you know...a really pretty dress." Sylina descended into giggles again and Alistair laughed, watching her. They stayed up a bit longer before they both retired to their tents. Sylina to her now patched tent and Alistair to his, which he had pitched next to hers since they would be leaving for the tower shortly after waking.

* * *

"Ah, I see you are finally awake. Mother will be pleased." Sylina bolted upright and screamed. The pain in her shoulder was overwhelming. She fell back onto the bed, clutching her shoulder. "Well that was stupid," she heard. Her eyes blinked and she thought she heard a banging on the door. A hand moved her back to a lying position.

Lying back in the bed she let her eyes open and took in her surroundings. She saw a dark haired woman – Morrigan, she realized. Morrigan bent down and put something cool on her shoulder. "There. Perhaps now you will stay conscious for more than a minute." Sylina blinked and, gritting her teeth, she tried to sit up again. Morrigan placed a hand on her elbow and helped her. When Sylina was in a sitting position, she saw that she was in a room – or a hut, more like - with a fireplace and two beds. She was also wearing nothing but her breastband, underclothes and a few bandages. She looked at Morrigan who was watching her with inquisitive eyes. "W-what happened?" she managed to whisper.

She remembered waking up and heading to the Tower of Ishal with Alistair in tow. Then, she remembered watching the battle begin, and Alistair reminding her that they had a job to do. By the time they got to the tower it had been overrun by darkspawn. She remembered fighting them, she remembered other guards helping them, she remembered people dying, Alistair never leaving her side. She remembered countless times when his shield had been the only thing stopping a darkspawn from taking her head off. They had climbed the tower inch by inch and when they got to the top, an ogre had been there. She remembered Alistair's shout and how she had almost fainted. The thing had been ten times the size of her and when it had advanced the very ground shook. Alistair had led the charge and she had cast all the spells she knew at it. Finally, Alistair had run his sword through its chest and the great beast had died. They had run to the signal and, calling on the last of her mana, she had lit it. She remembered being hit after that. She remembered the sharp pain of an arrow hitting her shoulder. The last thing she could recall was being shrouded in darkness.

"The darkspawn won your battle and Mother rescued you and your friend from the top of the tower," Morrigan said, gazing at her. Sylina nodded. "The man who was to respond to your signal...quit the field." Sylina snapped her head up at her and winced from the pain. She heard another bang on the door and a shout. She turned to look at it. Morrigan huffed and went to the door. She cracked it open and shouted, "She is alive you oaf. Stop your ranting. She will be out in a moment." She then shut the door with a bang and turned back to Sylina. "Your moronic friend is not taking the news well," she said angrily, walking over to Sylina. She went to the end of the bed and grabbed a small bag.

"My things!" Sylina said, reaching for the bag. "How did you...my friend?" she suddenly asked, turning back to the door.

"Yes, the one who was with you earlier, suspicious and dim-witted."

"Alistair?" Sylina gasped, her mouth falling open.

"Yes, that is his name."

"He is alive!" Sylina went to move off the bed, but was stopped by the pain in her shoulder. Morrigan sighed and moved to aid her. She helped her put on one of her robes, Sylina crying out in pain when she put her arm into the sleeve. Then, she walked outside. She saw Alistair staring out over the small lake next to the hut. She called his name as she got nearer to him. He turned, and his face broke when he saw her. She saw relief, grief, and unshed tears in his eyes as he took two steps towards her and wrapped her in his arms.

"I...I thought you were dead," he whispered, his head buried in her shoulder.

Sylina winced and Alistair, realizing that he was hurting her, jumped back. "Oh Maker, I'm sorry. I...you are hurt." Alistair blushed crimson and Sylina was still breathing fast as the pain subsided. She nodded.

"Ah, there you are." Morrigan's mother walked up to her. "See," she said, turning to Alistair, who was decidedly looking at the ground. "I told you she would live." Morrigan's mother turned back to her, but Alistair spoke, his eyes coming to meet hers. Sylina saw the pain he was trying to suppress.

"D-Duncan...he's dead. The other Grey Wardens...the king...they're all dead." Alistair took a breath, his hands raking through his hair. "How can this be real?" he whispered, looking back out at the lake.

"I am sorry for your Duncan," Morrigan's mother told him, "but you must grieve later. Duty must come first."

Alistair stayed quiet and Sylina turned to the old woman. "Thank you...uh...Morrigan's mother?" The old woman laughed and Sylina hurried on. "I'm sorry, I don't know your name."

"Pah. Names are useless. But I suppose you can call me Flemeth if you wish," Flemeth said. Sylina stared at her with her mouth hanging open and Alistair tore his gaze from the lake and turned to the old woman.

"Wait...the Flemeth. From the legends?" he asked.

Flemeth waved off his question with her hand. "It does not matter what you think I am. It only matters what the two of you are going to do now."

"N-now?" Sylina asked, looking at Alistair and seeing confusion in his eyes as well.

"The last time I checked, it was the Grey Warden's responsibility to unite the lands against the Blight," Flemeth said, looking from Sylina to Alistair.

The truth of what the old woman said hit Sylina. She and Alistair were the last Grey Wardens left. Then she remembered what Duncan had said when they entered Ostagar: that if the Blight was not stopped, it would destroy Ferelden. She turned to Alistair. "Then we have to stop it. We have to stop this Blight." Alistair just looked at her. "Alistair, there must be a way to contact the other Grey Wardens. The ones in other nations. If they could get here..."

Alistair was shaking his head. "Cailan already summoned them...and I'm sure by now Loghain has made some attempt to stop them. Even if they are on their way, they will never get here in time." He growled. "Why would Loghain  _do_ this?!"

Flemeth spoke. "Men's hearts hold shadows darker than any tainted beast."

"Arl Eamon would never stand for this!" Alistair shouted, throwing his hands up. "IF HE..." Sylina walked up to him and put her hand on his arm. He turned to look at her, stopping mid-sentence, shock on his face.

She smiled up at him. She saw that he was hurting, that he was in pain and was furious, but she also knew that anger would get them nowhere. "Alistair," she started and he lowered his arms and visibly calmed. "Loghain will pay for what he has done - but right now, we must remember the Blight. Duncan would want that to be our first priority." Alistair nodded and blushed. Sylina took her hand off his arm and turned back to Flemeth.

"I believe you have more at your disposal than you think," Flemeth said.

Sylina blinked at her, not quite, understanding when suddenly Alistair yelled: "The treaties!" Sylina jumped. "Sylina, remember! The treaties. Grey Wardens can demand aid from dwarves, elves, mages, and others. They are obligated to help during a Blight!" He was smiling.

Sylina nodded. "But we don't have the treaties Alistair. We gave them back to Duncan. Remember?"

"I believe I can help you." Flemeth pulled the treaties out of her pocket and handed them to Alistair. He took them, bewildered.

"How..."

"Do not question good fortune, young man," Flemeth said. "Now, it sounds like you know what to do. Go to these places, build an army. There is one more thing I can do for you..."

At these words Morrigan appeared. "Mother, dinner is almost ready. Will the Grey Wardens be staying...or going?" she said, leering at Sylina and Alistair.

"They are leaving, and you are going with them," Flemeth said, turning to her daughter.

"Oh how sad...What!?" Morrigan looked at her mother with wide eyes.

"If Morrigan doesn't wish to go with us..." Sylina began.

"She will be useful. She can continue to heal your shoulder and she can get you both out of the Wilds and past the horde," Flemeth said matter-of-factly.

"Mother...I...this is not how I imagined this. I-I am not ready," Morrigan began.

Flemeth nodded. "Come girl, we will put together your things and get you ready. Wait here, Grey Wardens." Flemeth immediately headed into the hut. Morrigan looked despairingly after her before sighing and following.

Alistair turned to Sylina, his eyes wide. "Um...won't she only add to our problems? Out of the Wilds she's an apostate."

Sylina looked up at Alistair and bit her lip. "I am not sure we have a choice in this, and..." Sylina paused and looked at the ground, "some might think that of me too now." He blinked in surprise, his mouth opening then closing. Sylina hadn't thought of herself as an apostate, but if people didn't know she was a Grey Warden, there was no doubt what they would think upon meeting her. She wondered if they would run into trouble, if templars would try to take her back to the tower. No doubt the Knight-Commander would if he had the chance. Perhaps it was best to avoid templars for the time being.

Morrigan returned without her mother. "Come, Grey Wardens. I shall take you to a village just outside the Wilds. We can purchase supplies over there and hear the news."

Sylina nodded and motioned to the path. "Lead on." She saw Alistair fidget and she cast him a look that begged him to stay quiet. He frowned, but didn't say anything.

"Good," Morrigan said. She began to lead.


	20. Chapter 20

They walked on in silence. Sylina occasionally looked back at Alistair, who seemed to find his feet very interesting. "I suppose it would be mean to say he is acting like a child?" Morrigan said suddenly. Sylina turned to her. Morrigan was frowning at Alistair, who didn't seem to have heard her as he was focused on the ground.

Sylina walked up beside Morrigan and looked at the woman. She was an apostate and Sylina wondered if Morrigan's training had been different from hers. No doubt it had been very different since she was raised by Flemeth. If she was the Flemeth of legend then she was an incredibly old and powerful mage who some said was maleficar. Sylina wasn't so sure anymore. Why would the Flemeth of legend have saved them then? Unless she really did just want to make sure there were Grey Wardens to stop the Blight, but Sylina doubted that had been the old woman's only motive. Finally, she sighed and glanced back at Alistair. She had never lost anyone close to her. At the tower, the only person she had been close to was Jowan. She felt guilty about Jowan and his fate, but even he was still alive so she didn't feel loss. She tried to imagine what she would feel if she lost those she loved. Her hand strayed to the chain around her neck. She decided that she would be devastated. "He lost those closest to him. It must be very hard to lose all those you love." She looked up at Morrigan and saw the woman scowl.

"You think the Grey Wardens that died would encourage this behavior? Pah. If so, they are not the Grey Wardens of legend." She frowned and sped up, leaving Sylina behind. Sylina shook her head. Something told her she would have be the peacekeeper between the two of them.

They spent hours traveling through the Wilds, with Morrigan setting a brutal pace. She wanted to reach the Hinterlands by dusk, insisting that it would have less darkspawn and therefore be a safer place to camp. Alistair stayed quiet and Sylina found her mind wandering to everything that had happened since her Harrowing. It felt like a lifetime ago, when it had been merely a few weeks, perhaps less since she didn't know how long she had been healing in the hut. She wondered where Jowan was, or if he had been captured. As her hand strayed up to the amulet around her neck she wondered what Cullen would be doing. She smiled as she imagined him going about his day, standing guard, watching the mages, perhaps even thinking of her... As the day wore on, her shoulder started to throb. The bandage with the ointment dried and started to itch. Soon, each step made her wince in pain.

Eventually, Sylina's entire body started to tire. She was still not used to walking so much and Morrigan was setting a pace faster than even Duncan had. As the hours passed, she started to stumble and tried focusing on keeping her body up and not falling to the ground. Finally, hours before it would get dark, when Sylina was sure they were out of the Wilds, she collapsed near the base of a tree, clutching her shoulder. She hadn't planned on falling, but she had tripped on a root and hadn't been able to catch herself. She was surprised when Alistair seemed to snap out of his gloom to run over to her.

"What are you doing?" Morrigan snapped, turning around when she heard Sylina go down.

"Can't you see she is exhausted?!" Alistair barked, bending down to Sylina. "Are you alright? Are you hurt? Is it your shoulder?" His eyes were filled with concern.

Sylina could only nod through clenched teeth. Her hand clutching her shoulder, she leaned her head against the tree and closed her eyes for a moment.

"We need to keep moving," Morrigan stated folding her arms. "We cannot stop here. Get up."

Alistair glared up at her. "She needs rest, and we have been out of the Wilds for hours now. And I can't feel any darkspawn nearby." Alistair looked back at Sylina with concern. "We can stop here for an hour or two before moving on," he said, not looking up at Morrigan.

Sylina was grateful to Alistair and wished she could say as much, but the pain was too much. She sat for a while, Alistair sitting next to her in silence. Morrigan huffed and walked away. Sylina knew the witch would be back. She didn't know how, but she knew.

After an hour of Sylina resting against the tree and Alistair staring off into the trees, Sylina tried to rise. Alistair jumped up and helped her. She winced, but managed to stand. "I-I should be fine now...thank you." Sylina looked at the ground. She felt weak and unworthy. Surely a Grey Warden should be able to stand this kind of pain. She shouldn't be such a baby.

"We could camp here if you like, no matter what the witch says," Sylina smiled at Alistair's obvious dislike of the other woman.

"I do believe your templar is showing, my fellow Grey Warden," Sylina said, attempting to grin at him. She grimaced instead, still trying to deal with the pain her shoulder was bringing her.

Alistair chuckled, still standing close to her should she need help. "Perhaps you are right. I just don't like the idea of walking around with Flemeth's daughter. Especially since she  _wanted_  us to take her." He sighed, looking around. "I can't shake the feeling that she will be more trouble than she's worth." Sylina started to laugh, but stopped when pain ripped through her. Alistair looked down worriedly. "Shouldn't Flemeth have been able to heal that? I mean she is supposed to be powerful."

"It was her mortal wound." Morrigan appeared suddenly. "It would have killed you. Mother only healed it just in time, but mortal wounds often take time to heal, even with magic." Sylina looked up at her, frowning.

"Did I die?" she asked, fear flooding her.

Morrigan laughed. "No. Even Mother can't cure death. Your collarbone was shattered. It is not an easy fix. They are mending and if you keep the bandage on they should be healed well by tomorrow." Sylina's hand strayed to her shoulder. It felt whole to her, but she shivered at the thought of shattered bones. "Now, can we get moving?" The mage was tapping her foot and Sylina just nodded and followed her.

They walked a few more hours and Sylina noticed that the witch slowed her pace. She would have thanked her, but she was busy trying to ignore her throbbing shoulder. Alistair stayed by her side and when she faltered, his hands made sure she didn't fall. She smiled gratefully at him and couldn't have been happier when they stopped for the night. Morrigan had found a small clearing and informed them that they were done traveling for the time being. Sylina sank to the ground and watched as the witch disappeared back into the woods. She shook her head.

Alistair went to gather wood and when he came back they lit a small fire. Neither of them had any food and so they just stared at the flames. Sylina's stomach growled and she felt light-headed, but she bit back the complaints. She sighed and looked at Alistair. He just stared into the flames. She thought his eyes looked red. She turned back to the fire and spoke. "Perhaps we should try to sleep. You can rest first and I will watch and make sure we are not eaten by darkspawn." She attempted a smile, but instead just sighed.

"You are exhausted. Sleep, Sylina. I will take the first watch." Alistair was looking at her with concern. She sighed again and just nodded. She curled up on her side with her good shoulder and tried to sleep.

She felt like she had only just closed her eyes when the dream started. Darkspawn were everywhere, surrounding her, darkening the sky and the earth. She could feel them in her mind, watching her, killing, eating, speaking. Then, there was a dragon. Huge and screaming. It was screaming and the darkspawn were responding. Sylina was watching from what she felt was a distance and then suddenly she was right next to the dragon and it was staring at her. It turned its head to her and she was engulfed in purple flames.

She awoke with a start. Alistair was crouched next to her, calling out her name and shaking her. She was breathing fast, her heart racing. She tried to sit up, but was halted by her shoulder, which still hurt. Alistair attempted to help her. "Just breathe. It was only a dream," he was saying, trying to soothe her. She looked around - she was still in the clearing, the fire was dying and she saw faint light which told her it was almost morning. She had slept the whole night. Alistair sat back on his heels. "Dreams, huh?" he asked, looking at her.

Sylina looked up at him. "It was so real," she finally managed to whisper.

Alistair frowned. "Well...It is real see? What you saw...it was the darkspawn. We...feel them, their minds. Duncan once told me they share a group mind and we tap into that. It is easier in our dreams, so that is what you were seeing...their group mind." He was looking at her with concern and she felt like she could vomit. Her stomach was churning and she was glad she hadn't eaten.

"T-the dragon?" She couldn't look at him. She was shaking and she didn't want him to see the fear she knew was in her eyes.

Alistair's hand found her good shoulder and he squeezed. "The archdemon. That's how we knew this was a real Blight," he said. Sylina just nodded.

"Good, you are up. Let's leave then." Sylina looked up to see Morrigan walking out of the woods toward them. Alistair scowled at her, but Sylina stood up and put an ice spell on the flames extinguishing them.

"Yes. Let's go," Sylina said, picking up her pack and following the mage. She heard Alistair groan and get up as well. She didn't want time to think about her dreams. She wanted to walk. When they had been walking for an hour, Sylina realized that Alistair had probably not slept. He had not woken her for watch. She felt a pang of guilt and looked back at him. He looked exhausted and even from where she was standing she could see the lines under his eyes. She sighed. She would have to make it up to him somehow.

They walked for a few hours and came along a road. Morrigan informed them that following it would lead them to Lothering. Morrigan came to a sudden stop as they were walking along the road. Sylina looked up at the mage. "Something is moving." The mage grabbed her staff and Sylina copied her. She now saw something moving along the edge of the fence. It was fast and low to the ground. She heard Alistair take out his blade. "Wolves?" he asked, moving to stand beside Sylina.

Suddenly around the bend Sylina saw a dog running toward them. She sighed.  _No, not a dog_ , she thought and smiled,  _a Mabari._ The Mabari reached them and skidded to a stop. It barked and almost looked like it was smiling up at her then turned around. Alistair groaned. "Darkspawn," he said, and Sylina saw a group of ten darkspawn running toward them.

The battle was quick and efficient. The Mabari stayed by her side and slayed several darkspawn by ripping out their throats. When it was done she turned to the Mabari and cooed, "Who's a good dog?"

"Hey, I helped too," Alistair pouted. Sylina laughed at him. She was actually feeling better. Morrigan had been right - after the first few hours, her shoulder had started to feel better, and she had been able to put her dream behind her. She had found the walking made it easy for her to take her mind off it.

Sylina looked down at the Mabari.  _It can't be_ , she thought. "I think this might be the Mabari from camp, the one I brought the flower back for," she said, kneeling down to look closer at the dog. He barked at her and went on grinning.

Alistair sheathed his sword and walked up. "Hmm, I think he's...chosen you. Mabari do that, it's called imprinting. Means they'll follow you and only you. They are supposed to be very smart you know."

"Ugh, now we are going to have a mangy beast following us around. Wonderful." Morrigan walked on, leaving the three of them behind.

"Don't listen to her, she's just bitchy," Alistair said to the dog, smiling. Sylina laughed.

"I-I have never had a pet." She looked up at Alistair, her hands still running through the dog's fur. "I don't know how to take care of him. I don't know the first thing about dogs!" She felt panic creep up and Alistair laughed.

"Did I mention that they're smart? No doubt he will be taking care of you." He bent down and patted the Mabari.

Sylina stood up and the Mabari stood next to her and looked up expectantly. She almost felt like she understood him. He was there for her. She felt warmth for the dog and smiled. "But what am I going to call you?" she asked and started walking after Morrigan. "Hesper," she decided. The dog barked happily, clearly pleased with its new name.


	21. Chapter 21

As the four of them headed into Lothering, Sylina smiled. It looked like a peaceful village. "Here is Lothering. Now, I suggest we resupply and move on lest the humans start begging us for food." Sylina looked confused by Morrigan's reaction and then she saw the refugees. There were tents everywhere outside the village with people and children running around. Most of them looked hungry, dirty, and tired. Sylina's heart broke as she saw the desperation and fear in their eyes.

When they finally walked between all the tents and reached what she assumed was the actual beginning of the town, Alistair turned to her. "I suggest that we decide what our course of action should be before heading into town."

"Ah. I see you have decided to join the land of the living? Falling on your blade in grief seemed like too much trouble I take it?" Morrigan said, sneering at Alistair.

Alistair rounded on her his voice rising, "Can you not understand why I might be upset!? Have you never lost someone important to you? What would you do if your mother died?"

Morrigan started laughing. "Oh, you are serious? Before or after I stopped laughing?"

Alistair shook his head and turned back to Sylina. "Creepy. I don't want to know."

Sylina stepped forward and looked up at Alistair. She had tried to let him grieve since leaving the hut. She had let him follow quietly, and had not asked him any questions. He looked down at her. She saw sadness in his eyes, but there was also determination. "You have been quiet," she said, watching him.

He sighed and nodded,,"I know." He looked out at the rows of tents. "I was...thinking."

Morrigan scoffed. "Tis no wonder it took so long then."

Alistair turned back to glare at her and Sylina put her hand on his arm. "What is it, Alistair?" she asked softly. His gaze fell back to her and softened. He shook his head.

"We need to decide where to head to after Lothering. We have three treaties that we can fulfill: the Dalish elves, the dwarves of Orzammar...and," he glanced at her, "and the Circle of Magi."

Sylina took her hand off his arm and looked up at him. "So what? We just go to these places and ask for their help?"

"Essentially, yes. It shouldn't be too difficult. And perhaps we should even seek out Arl Eamon first."

"You mentioned him before, at Flemeth's hut. Who is he?" Sylina asked him.

"He is the Arl of Redcliffe. A good man. He would be an ally against Teyrn Loghain, and something tells me we are going to need one. But, I don't know. Perhaps we should try to fill one of the treaties first. It is up to you."

Sylina's eyes widened. "Me? Alistair why are you leaving it up to me? I-I can't lead."

"Well I certainly don't want to," Alistair said, taking a small step back, "Wherever you decide to go I will follow."

"Great. The world is doomed," Morrigan said. She made off for the village without another word. Sylina had to admit that she was starting to agree.

"Alistair," she looked up at him. "I know next to  **nothing**  about this world. I know magic, some magic - I would not even say I am an expert in that area. And you want  **me**  to lead  **us**  to stop a  **Blight**...you do realize that is insane?" Sylina couldn't believe what she was hearing. She had no experience leading. In fact, all she had ever done her whole life was what she had been told to do. And now Alistair just wanted her to decide where they would go, which treaties they would fulfill first…he had to be mental.

"Sylina. I know you can do this. And I will help. I just...I just don't want to lead is all. I'll follow your lead, and give you advice when you ask. Just...trust me. Bad things happen when I lead...like we get lost...or people get hurt...or I lose my pants...it's just bad, believe me." Sylina blinked at him and shook her head.

"You are mental," she said, turning and heading into the town.

Alistair hurried to catch up to her. "So...where are we going to go?" he asked casually.

She glared up at him, a little angry that he would throw this responsibility on her shoulders, which still hurt slightly. She huffed. "I will decide later."

Alistair looked worriedly down at her, but stayed silent as they walked into town. Lothering itself was not so exciting. Morrigan had found a trader who had an excellent deal for them specifically. When Sylina asked how Morrigan had gotten it, she had merely shrugged. Alistair had some money and they bought supplies- tents in particular, since they had none, and food. Alistair told her that they would run out of money quickly and Sylina bit her lip. She asked if there were any jobs around town and the trader told them to check the Chanter's board and the tavern. They headed for the tavern first.

They entered the tavern and Sylina almost covered her ears again. It wasn't as loud as the first time, but she still winced. She looked down and saw that Hesper was whining up at her. "Shh, it's okay. We'll just stay and hear the news then leave." She saw Alistair giving her a small smile and she glared up at him and began looking around the tavern. They took several steps inside when a group of men stood up from their table and came walking toward them. Sylina stopped and could feel the tension. The men were leering at her and she wondered if she shouldn't get out her staff.

"Well, well. Look here men. I do believe we were asking about a woman of this description earlier today. Everyone said they hadn't seen her." The man who spoke was obviously a soldier and Sylina felt nervous. Alistair stepped closer to her and she felt Morrigan reach for her staff.

"Loghain's men," Alistair whispered to her. Sylina stiffened and Alistair put his hand on his blade.

"Gentlemen please." A chantry sister appeared next to the soldiers. "These are likely more refugees fleeing the Blight."

"Stay out of this, sister!" one of the men spat. "She's a Grey Warden – a traitor. We are taking her into custody. Loghain will see you pay for your crimes against the king!" Sylina was shocked. She stood, frozen in place, and stared at the men. She didn't see the man grab his blade and unsheathe it. Alistair jumped in front of Sylina, grabbing his blade and meeting the other man's blade as he swung it. The sound of blade meeting blade snapped Sylina out of her shock and, taking a step back, she pulled her hands up and began casting. Hesper threw himself into the fray and she saw him take down one of the soldiers. Sylina saw the Chantry sister stab a man in the back and make quick work of another. Between her and Morrigan's spells, the rest of the men went down quickly.

Finally the leader threw down his blade. "Please don't!" he shouted as Alistair brought up his blade. "I surrender."

"Ah good," the Chantry sister said, walking up to them. There was blood spattered on her robes and she put away her dagger. "He learned his lesson. We can all stop fighting."

Alistair looked at Sylina and she motioned for him to put down his blade. She walked up to the man and kneeled down, looking him in the eye. "Now, explain yourself," she said. "Why does Loghain want my head?" What Sylina had been most shocked about when the man said he was taking her into custody was that he had wanted only her and not Alistair. Alistair had been a Grey Warden far longer than she had – shouldn't they have been after him instead?

The man looked wildly about. "He's put a bounty on any surviving Grey Wardens. Says they are traitors and the reason the king died. I-I saw you at Ostagar, knew you became a Grey Warden. Loghain asked me to stay behind and make sure that if you survived you were brought to him." Sylina shook her head. "P-please. Please don't kill me!" She looked at the man and saw the fear in his eyes. So Loghain remembered her? Or at least this man did. And Loghain would have known that she and Alistair were not in the fray with the rest of the Grey Wardens. Perhaps he thought that if he took her and Alistair out his secret would be safe. She felt her anger rising and she took a deep breath to calm herself.

She got up, "Go." She said pointing her finger at the door, "Go and tell Loghain the Grey Wardens know what really happened at Ostagar." The man stared at her. Then he stumbled to his feet and ran out of the door.

Alistair was looking at her with an amused grin and Morrigan looked annoyed. The Chantry sister walked up to her. "I am glad that you spared him. I am Leliana, a lay sister of the chantry here in Lothering – or, I was."

Sylina nodded. "I am Sylina. Thank you for your help, sister."

Leliana smiled at her. "It was my pleasure. He said you were a Grey Warden? Good. I know you could use help, so I will come along."

Sylina blinked at her. "Um...sister, I'm sorry but I need...um...well more than just prayers to help me defeat the Blight."

Leliana continued to smile at her. "The Maker told me to join you. He came to me in a dream...a vision!"

Sylina almost laughed, but seeing that the woman was clearly serious, she started to step back and ran into Alistair. She looked up at him, her head resting slightly on his armor. He stared at the Chantry lay sister. "I thought we were done with crazy." He looked down at Sylina and a small smile tugged at his mouth. She suspected her face said what she thought of Leliana's vision.

"I-I know that sounds insane...but it's true!" Leliana walked toward them. "You have seen the people in Lothering, their hurt and despair. The Maker does not want this. What you will do, it is the Maker's work. Let me help you!" Sylina stared up at the red-headed sister. She saw sadness in her eyes, but determination as well. She sighed.

"Okay." She felt Alistair stare down at her and realized she was still leaning against him. She straightened and took a step toward the sister. "If you are offering to help, I will take it. I am not in a position to turn anybody away."

"Your brain must have been more addled than Mother originally thought," Morrigan said, staring at her with a disapproving frown.

"Oh thank you so much! I will not let you down," Leliana said, smiling at Sylina. Sylina couldn't help but smile a little back at the woman.


	22. Chapter 22

They left the tavern and headed to the Chanter's board where Leliana said there was a job to take down some bandits. "I heard the chanters are offering a nice reward to whoever does." Sylina took the job off the board and they headed in the direction of the bandit's last whereabouts. They passed the tents of the refugees and people stared at them as they passed. When they were on the outskirts of town, Sylina saw a cage with a huge giant in it. She stared open mouthed as she walked up to it. The man was twice her size and his skin was grey. When she neared the cage, the man turned to her and she saw his eyes were purple. She shivered and just stared.

"I have nothing to amuse you with human," the man in the cage said, and Sylina jumped back.

"W-what are you?" she asked, staring up at him. She had never heard of giants with purple eyes before, and she had read a lot of books in the library.

"A prisoner obviously," the man said, frowning down at her.

Leliana came up to Sylina's side. "The revered mother said he slaughtered an entire family, even the children." Sylina gasped and stared up at the giant man.

"It is as she says," the caged man said solemnly. "I am Sten of the Beresaad, the vanguard, of the qunari peoples."

Sylina blinked. A qunari. She had never read anything about the qunari. She knew they existed, though only in passing. They were new to Thedas, only arrived two hundred years ago, and she didn't know if there were any books in the Circle library that talked about them at all. "I am Sylina, of the Grey Wardens. It is a pleasure to meet you, qunari."

The man blinked at her and frowned. "A Grey Warden? With manners I am not accustomed to in your land. My people have heard legends of the Grey Wardens...it appears not all legends are true."

Sylina hid a small smile. She didn't blame the man – she didn't think she was very impressive for a Grey Warden. "This is a proud and powerful creature, to be trapped as prey for the darkspawn. If you see no use for him then I suggest we release him out of mercy," Morrigan said, coming up to Sylina's other side and looking at the giant man.

"Ha. Mercy? I would never have thought you would know what mercy is," Alistair said from behind her.

Morrigan shot him a glare. "And Alistair should take his place in the cage."

"Yes...that is more what I expect from you," Alistair said, smirking at the mage.

"Leave me to my fate Grey Warden," Sten said, looking past her. Sylina shook her head, but abided by the qunari's wishes and left. The five of them made short order of the bandits which were close by Lothering's outskirts and they headed back to the chanters to get the reward. As they walked back into town, Sylina found her gaze go back to the caged qunari.

"Leliana?" she asked, walking next to the woman. Leliana looked at her. "Would the revered mother release the qunari if we asked? Perhaps he will come with us and help."

Leliana frowned and pulled her hand through her hair. "I could ask her. I am sure if I tell her that he will be helping to stop the Blight she might consider it. When we go to the chanter's board I will stop by the Chantry and ask."

Sylina nodded and, after collecting the gold for taking care of the bandits, the five of them walked into the Chantry. Leliana went to the back while Sylina, Morrigan, Alistair and Hesper stayed near the entrance. Sylina walked toward one of the candle stands and took one of the unlit candles. Pulling on a small amount of mana, she lit it and put it beside the others. "For the Grey Wardens," she whispered then sent a silent prayer to the Maker to take them to his side.

"Can I help you, my lady?" Sylina jumped and turned around. A templar was standing alarmingly close to her. She frantically looked around and saw Alistair talking to a knight on the other side of the Chantry. Morrigan was nowhere to be seen. Hesper appeared by her side and growled up at the Templar. The man looked alarmed and stepped back. "I did not mean to frighten," he said, putting his hands up in a soothing gesture.

"I-I am sorry, Ser templar. You merely startled me," Sylina said, though her heart was hammering.

"I am Ser Bryant, commander of the Lothering templars. Is there anything I can help you with?" He was watching her with a curious eye – as if measuring her up – and she remembered she had pulled on her mana to light the candle. She gulped and shook her head, wanting nothing more than to leave the Chantry. She went to walk past him and his hand came up and caught her arm. He did not squeeze, but held it firmly. Hesper growled deeper.

"There you are! Sylina I want you to..." Alistair was walking toward her with another man trailing behind him when he saw her and the templar. His expression hardened immediately. "Is there a problem here, templar?" he asked, his voice steel. Alistair's hand drifted to his blade as he fixed the templar with a glare.

Ser Bryant let go of her arm and she walked over to Alistair. He stepped between her and the templar. "I suggest you move on. We want no trouble here," Ser Bryant said, looking from Alistair to Sylina. Then he walked back toward the interior of the Chantry. Sylina saw him call over two templars. He began to give them instructions.

"We should leave," Sylina said, stepping back toward the Chantry doors. Alistair nodded and Sylina saw Leliana walking toward them with a smile.

"I got the key," she said, smiling from Sylina to Alistair. Seeing their expressions, she frowned. "Is something wrong?"

"Come on, let's go," Alistair said, heading for the door. Sylina turned to see Ser Bryant watching her as they left. Once outside, Alistair turned quickly to Sylina. "This is an old friend of mine, Ser Donall. He is a knight from Redcliffe."

Ser Donall nodded to Sylina. "A pleasure to meet you my lady," he said. They continued walking away from the Chantry. Ser Donall stopped. "Alistair, I must head back to Redcliffe, I fear this quest is for naught. Hopefully when I return the Arl will be better. I bid you all farewell." Alistair nodded to him and the knight turned and left.

"What was that about?" Sylina asked as they walked toward the caged qunari. Morrigan appeared from behind a cottage and walked behind.

"Ser Donall was sent on a mission to find the Urn of Sacred Ashes, Andraste's final resting place. The Arl is sick and no one has been able to cure him yet." Alistair was frowning and Sylina looked up at him, biting her lip.

"The Arl of Redcliffe, Arl Eamon?" she asked. Alistair had said he knew this Arl and that he was a good man that they should seek out in the fight against Loghain. But if the Arl was sick...

Alistair sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "Yes. I can't believe he would fall ill. I only hope he recovers quickly."

Sylina nodded and they finished their walk to the cage. As she came closer, she noticed Sten watching her. She walked up to the entrance and looked up at the giant man. "I can let you out. I have the key to this cage," Sylina said, watching for his reaction. She saw him stare at her and frown. If he reacted further, he did not show it.

"I did not think the old woman would part with the key. Will you let me out then, Grey Warden?" Sten asked, watching her.

"I will, if you promise to help me fight this Blight." Sylina had decided that even a murderer did not deserve to be ripped apart by darkspawn, and that this man, this giant, could help her against those same darkspawn, if he was willing.

Sten nodded. "Release me and I will follow you against the Blight. In doing so I will find my atonement." Sylina nodded and motioned for Leliana to open the cage. When she had, Sten walked out and looked down at the mage. "I would prefer if we did not linger here."

"Then we are on the same page, Sten. However, I think we should get you some armor and a weapon before we continue," Sylina said. She had Alistair and Leliana go back to the merchant and pick out a broadsword and some armor. They came back quickly and their company walked away from Lothering and toward the imperial highway. They had been walking for a few hours, Sylina thinking quietly, when she heard a shout. She looked up and Alistair was unsheathing his blade.

"Darkspawn," he said and Sylina grabbed her staff. They came upon several darkspawn who turned to them the second they saw them. They charged and the party dispatched them easily. When the last died she heard a shout and turned. Two dwarves emerged from behind crates. Sylina's face broke into a huge grin.

"Dwarves!" she shouted, pointing at them. Alistair came up to her. He had darkspawn blood staining his armor and some on his face. She wrinkled her nose at him, but didn't stop smiling. Sylina walked up to the two dwarves grinning, "Alistair, look. They're dwarves!"

Alistair was trying to hide his amusement, but was smiling. "Yes, they  _are_  dwarves. I take it they do not come to the tower often?" Sylina shook her head, gazing down at the little men. They looked so interesting to her, with short bodies and barely any neck. The older one approached her and smiled.

"Well, thank you, kind stranger, for saving us. Name's Bodahn Feddic, merchant and entrepreneur. This here is my son, Sandal." Sylina descended into giggles. She put her hands on her knees and became short of breath, but she couldn't stop laughing.

"I think that means you are welcome, Ser dwarf," Alistair said, coming up to her side and shaking his head. He was grinning at her all the same.

The older dwarf looked at Alistair. "Don't suppose you are going the same way as us – wouldn't mind having company that can fight on our travels."

"Uh-well it's a bit complicated..." Alistair began.

"Oh yes, you should come with us!" Sylina said, her eyes wide. She was short of breath and smiling. "We will protect you from darkspawn."

The dwarf shook his head. "Not sure I want to get involved, but thank you for the kind offer. Come on, boy. Let's collect our things and head on." The younger dwarf nodded and turned back to the crates. Sylina frowned. She had liked the dwarves, and was very interested in getting to know the other race she knew so little about, besides qunari.

She turned to Alistair frowning. "Why'd you tell them it was complicated? It would have been fun to have dwarves travel with us. And he's a merchant!"

Alistair's brows furrowed. "Possibly because it  _is_  complicated…? We don't even know where we are headed yet, remember?" Sylina scowled at him and turned to walk away. Alistair sighed and followed her.


	23. Chapter 23

He saw her sitting on the ground, examining the map. Sylina had been quiet since the encounter with the dwarves. Whenever he looked over at her she was biting her lip and looking worried. When they had stopped for camp that night she had asked Leliana if she had a map and the sister had surprised them all by saying yes. Sylina had taken the map and had been sitting away from the camp and examining it ever since. Alistair had washed himself up first after they had stopped and had eaten as well. Now, sitting by the fire, he was watching Sylina's brow furrow as she looked over at the map on the ground.

Alistair got up from the fire and walked over to her. He tried to sound cheery. "So...decided where to go yet?" Sylina looked up at him, frowning.

She shook her head and sighed, looking back at the map. "I was talking to Leliana. She thinks we might want to wait to seek out the elves, since that could take awhile. Even if the Brecillian forest is the closest."

Alistair scratched his head and bent down to look at the map. "We could go to the Circle," Alistair said casually. "Or Redcliffe." He had wondered why she didn't want to go to the Circle first since it was where she was from. He saw her bite her lip and her hand went to the chain around her neck.

"I'm not sure the Circle is a good idea. I think, perhaps, I should let them...just no." She sighed. "And you heard your knight friend earlier. The Arl is sick. It would be pointless to go there now. We can wait until he is better."

Alistair nodded. He was worried about Arl Eamon and would have liked to head there first, but he saw that it wouldn't be much help if the Arl was too sick to even see them. He looked at Sylina, who was glaring at the map as if waiting for it to tell her what to do. "Well then, you are left with one option." He bent down and pointed to the Frostback Mountains. "To Orzammar we go." Sylina looked at where his finger was pointing and she frowned.

"I know. I realized that hours ago. It's just..." She looked up at him and blushed. He couldn't keep a smile from creeping up every time he saw her blush. "Well, it's a long walk to Orzammar." She finally said, looking down at the map. Her nose wrinkled as he had noticed it did when she was less than happy about something.

Alistair smiled. He knew that she was tired after their walk that day and that she tried to pretend her feet didn't hurt when they did. "Well perhaps it is best to get the long walk over with then. Or you know, I could always ask Sten to carry you." He chuckled and saw the corners of her mouth twitch.

"No. You are probably right. We will head to Orzammar and...walk. Hopefully I won't hold everyone back." She looked up and smiled shyly at him. "And by the time we get there I will be so quick I will be able to outrun you!" Alistair laughed and she giggled.

"You can certainly try, but I will warn you what will happen if I catch you," Alistair said, grinning.

Sylina looked up at him with big eyes. "What will happen?" she asked, feigning fear, but he saw the corners of her lips tugging up.

Alistair's eyes twinkled with mischief. "I guess we'll have to wait and find out, won't we?"

They were headed to Orzammar when a merchant hailed them. When he said the word 'golem,' Sylina's eyes had rounded and she had eagerly taken the control rod from his hands. And that's how Alistair found himself walking up a path to a small village called Honnleath. "Golem..." he muttered.

Sylina turned around and smirked at him. "We could use a Golem," she said, continuing their climb up the hill.

"We don't NEED a Golem, Sylina. Just admit that you want one and that need has nothing to do with it." Alistair was smiling at her and shaking his head.

She laughed. "Alistair, we are the last two Grey Wardens in Ferelden. We have to stop a Blight and the only army we have at the moment is you, me, Lelianna, Sten, Morrigan and Hesper. I think if there was ever a time when we needed a Golem it was right now." She smiled back at him but he was still frowning. "Cheer up. Think of all the darkspawn it'll kill. And you won't have to shield me anymore. That can be its job."

Alistair glanced at her. "I don't mind shielding you," he said, hoping she didn't see the blush creeping up his neck.

She chuckled again, her eyes bright. "Nobody can shield me forever, Alistair."

She walked ahead to catch up to Leliana and Alistair muttered under his breath, "I could try."

When they made it to the village and killed the darkspawn they discovered that the rod didn't work. Sylina was furious. Alistair wasn't sure if he was relieved or angry that the merchant had given them a useless rod and they had wasted the day trying to get a golem. Then he noticed Sylina was walking toward one of the doors in the village. "I think I saw something move over here, perhaps one of the villagers can help us." Sylina walked into the door and Alistair hurried to catch up.

They fought darkspawn and made their way through a cellar. Eventually, they came upon a room with a strange purple wall behind which many of the villagers were standing. Sylina convinced them that she was not going to harm them and the leader pulled down the magical wall.

"I am Matthias. Why are you here?" the man with a blonde ponytail who had taken down the strange magical wall asked.

"I am Sylina, a Grey Warden. I was trying to activate the golem in the center of your village," Sylina said, walking toward the man.

"Shale? That is why you are here. That damnable creature has brought nothing but trouble. It killed my father, Wilhelm, the mage to the arls of Redcliffe and a hero in the war against Orlais. What did he get for his service? One day we found him lying dead, the golem standing as he is now. My mother sold the control rod years ago," Matthias said, watching Sylina.

Alistair saw Sylina thinking. She was biting her lip, which he had come to realize meant she was considering her next action. "Well, the control rod didn't work..."

"My mother most likely gave the wrong activation phrase. She said she never wanted to see the golem harm anyone else." Matthias looked back to the door that led deeper into the cellar. "Listen, how about we make a deal? I know you saved me and I'm grateful, but my daughter...she ran back there and I can't reach her. My father has all kinds of traps set and I have never even been that deep in his laboratory. If you bring Amalia back, I'll give you the phrase to activate Shale." Alistair could see that the man was worried about his daughter.

Sylina looked from the man to the door. "I will help you. To save your daughter." Alistair sighed – he had figured she would do the right thing.

"Oh, we are going to help every helpless soul are we?" Morrigan said disapprovingly.

"You don't have to come if you are afraid, Morrigan," Sylina said, a slight smirk on her mouth as she headed for the door to the laboratory. Alistair chuckled and Morrigan shot him a death glare. He smiled sweetly at her and followed Sylina.

They made their way down a winding stone hallway and into a room with bookshelves and a fireplace. "The air feels cold here," Sylina said, taking out her staff.

"Shades," Morrigan said, looking around. Alistair unsheathed his sword and heard Sten do the same. Leliana knocked an arrow in her bow. They stepped further into the room and suddenly there were shades popping out of thin air around them. Alistair had never seen a shade before. They were ghostly spirits that seemed to float toward the group. They had long grey arms with claws and a hood with glowing purple eyes. Alistair swung his sword and the nearest one and it floated back and hissed at him. He took two steps and with swung again, but the shade dodged his attack by side-stepping. Alistair had been expecting this and swung his shield out to hit the hood of the creature, feeling its flesh crunch under the blow. With the creature momentarily stunned, Alistair sliced across its midregion and it sank back into the ground with a wail. Alistair turned and saw Sylina freezing the shade closest to him. With a grin, he took three steps and buried his blade to the hilt into the shade. It crashed to the ground and shattered. Alistair looked around and saw that all the shades had been dispatched. Sylina nodded and they headed on.

They headed down another hall, going deeper and deeper into the cellar. They approached a door with what appeared to be a hazy barrier. Sylina stopped and put out her hand to the barrier. It rippled and she nodded and walked through. Alistair followed and saw Sten hesitate before growling and following as well. Once inside the room, he saw Sylina walking toward a little girl and a cat. He frowned and walked up beside her.

"I am glad you are safe, Amalia. Come on, let's get back to your father," Sylina said, smiling at the girl.

"Nothing you say will convince her to go with you," the cat said from his position next to the girl. Sylina jumped back and almost landed on Alistair who put his hand out to stop her from falling. They both stared, wide-mouthed, at the cat.

"Oh, great. A demon," Morrigan said, frowning at the cat.

Now that Alistair looked closer at the cat he saw that its eyes were glowing a faint purple, like the shades' had been doing earlier. Sylina stepped forward. "What do you suggest demon?" she asked, frowning at the cat. Alistair stared at her. Was she truly going to make a deal with a demon?

"I propose you help me. Release me and let me have the girl. We will then return to her father." the cat got up and stretched and Amalia petted it lovingly.

Sylina rubbed her chin. "Okay. What do I need to do?"

"What?!" Alistair and Leliana blurted out simultaneously.

Morrigan laughed. "Oh, how fun!"

Sylina shot Alistair a glance that told him to be quiet and he frowned at her. "There is a ward that must be broken and only a mortal can approach it. Break it and I will be free."

Sylina nodded. "Show me where it is." Then, very quickly, she turned to Alistair and whispered, "Break the girl's concentration on the cat."

Alistair stared at her and watched her follow the cat/demon toward the back of the room. Alistair walked toward Amalia, "Um...hello?" he said as he approached. The girl looked up at him, but wasn't really seeing him. He thought he saw a faint purple in her eyes. Perhaps it was too late. "W-what a nice day? I-I mean how did you get down here?"

"You are an idiot." Morrigan shoved him aside and slapped the girl across the face. Alistair jumped and grabbed the mage's hand before she could slap the girl again. He heard a hiss and looked up.

"Stay away from her!" the cat growled and Alistair saw Sylina's staff come down on something.

He heard something break and then Sylina shouted, "I never said I would let you live, demon!" Alistair let go of Morrigan's hand as the demon started changing. He heard Amalia scream and run back the way they had come in. "I won't let you in Kitty!" she yelled. Then, the room erupted with more shades and he saw the demon Sylina was fighting. It was no longer a cat. Alistair saw that. It was a woman – a woman with purple skin and horns. He blushed upon realizing that it wasn't wearing any clothes.

Sylina was throwing spell after spell at it, but Alistair saw that it was barely making a dent in the demon's strength nor was it stopping it from getting closer to her. And suddenly he was running – he was running toward Sylina because he knew she wouldn't survive an encounter with the demon's claws.

"Think you can take my plaything away from me mortal?" The demon advanced and Sylina took another step back, but she was nearing the wall with nowhere to go. She cast a frost spell at the demon, taking another step back, but the demon simply walked through it. Alistair saw worry flash across Sylina's face and the demon raised its hand having almost reached her. Alistair shouted, the demon paused to look back at him for split second, but it was enough. He reached the demon before it could bring its hand down on Sylina and the demon spun around. He didn't stop running as his body met the demons and his blade sliced through it. They landed against the wall and he felt a searing pain in his shoulder where the demon's claws had ripped through his armor and shoulder. He gasped and the demon smiled at him as she died. Alistair stumbled back, gripping his shoulder and the demon fell to the floor taking his blade with it. He sunk to the ground and felt small hands grasping him. He blinked and looked up to see Sylina's face close to his. He thought about how beautiful her eyes were.

"Alistair. Alistair, stay with me!" she shouted, her hands tearing his away from his shoulder. He saw that his hand was red with blood. Was it his, or the demon's? "I can heal this, Alistair, you just have to stay awake, you hear. I need you to stay awake." Alistair dumbly nodded and slumped against her. His shoulder hurt and he felt tired. "Leliana! Sten! I need help!" Sylina pushed Alistair and put her hands over his wound. Suddenly Leliana was beside her. "I need his armor off, I need to see the wound, to heal it." They began moving him and Alistair laughed.

"N-no not there! Ha. I'm ticklish." He felt a wave of dizziness overcome him. "Oh, that's not good," he said, blinking and putting a hand out to steady himself. He was still on his knees and felt Sylina's hand reach out to grab him. His breastplate was off, and his shirt had been torn away from him. He blinked and saw Sylina leaning against him, her hands over his wound. She was whispering. He felt a pressure against his other side and looked down to see Hesper leaning against him. He put his hands through the dog's fur and felt a burning in his shoulder. "Ow. Hey, that hurts!" he said, trying to move back, but Sylina moved with him.

"Alistair please, I am not very good at this. You have to stay still." She looked up at him. He nodded and his hand reached out and held her robe, bringing her a bit closer. He didn't take his eyes off her as she healed his shoulder. She was on her knees next to him, her hands over his wounded shoulder and as she tired she leaned ever so slightly into him. He winced at the pain, but didn't move. Finally, she was done. Leliana handed her bandages and she wrapped them around the wound. Alistair watched, unable to say anything. The only coherent thought in his head was how good she smelled – why was he thinking that? Wasn't he wounded? But she smelled like the air, fresh and clean. Not like him. He smelled like blood...and mud. Alistair always seemed to smell a bit like mud.

She sighed and looked at him. "It's done. I have healed it to the best of my ability. You will need to rest it for a few days, but it should be good as new after that." She gave him a quick grin and tried to stand. She staggered and Leliana put her hands out to steady her. Sylina smiled gratefully at the red haired woman. Alistair put his hand out and was surprised to see it still entwined in the Mabari's fur. He pushed off the dog and got to his feet. He then put his hand against the wall and leaned. He blinked a few times and felt his thoughts clear up. He sighed.

"Let's get back to Matthias," Sylina said. She sighed and walked toward the entrance. Alistair nodded and straightened. He picked up his breastplate from the ground and looked down at the tattered remains of his shirt. That would have to wait he decided.


	24. Chapter 24

They made it back to Matthias and he gave them the phrase. As they were walking outside, Alistair managed to catch up to Sylina. She turned to look at him, concern still in her eyes. "Are you sure about this? I mean the golem killed its former master," Alistair said, looking at her. Sylina bit her lip and her hand fiddled with the chain around her neck.

"I-I don't know. I mean...we came all the way here. We might as well try." She glanced up at him. "How are you feeling?"

Alistair smiled. "Oh, I've been through worse. It actually feels a lot better." He stretched his arm and winced. Sylina smiled and they reached the golem. She pulled out the control rod and stood in front of the golem.

"Dulen harn," Sylina said, and Alistair watched as the golem came to life. It stretched its arms up and then down to its side. Then, the golem sighed.

"It is another mage...just my luck," the golem said, turning its white eyes on Sylina.

"Er...hello golem," Sylina said taking a step back. "How do you know I am a mage?"

"Ha, does the mage think these crystals are for show?" the golem snorted. "I can sense the energies it commands. I have stood here and watched these wretched little villagers for...many, many years."

"That sounds incredibly boring," Leliana said from Sylina's side.

"But they didn't know? That's creepy," Alistair said, frowning at the large golem.

"But then the darkspawn came and it was much quieter, though I would never have thought there was something less interesting than villagers, but there are those things. So...what is its command then? Out with it." The golem was looking at Sylina.

"Um...is something wrong?" Sylina asked, looking down at the control rod.

"I see the control rod, yet I feel...Order me to do something."

Sylina bit her lip. "O-okay. Um, walk over there." She pointed to the other side of the village.

The golem stared at her for a moment. "I feel nothing. No compulsion to carry out its command. Perhaps the rod is...broken?"

Sylina took another step back. "So...are you going to kill me then?" Alistair stiffened and felt the rest of the group do the same. Could they take down the golem if it came to that?

The golem then laughed. "Oh, don't be ridiculous. I suppose if it cannot command me, that means I have free will, yes? Hmm...I simply...what should I do?" The golem looked around the partly burned village, then turned back to Sylina. "What about it? It must have awoken me for some purpose, no?"

Sylina smiled. "I was hoping you would help me defeat the Blight actually."

"The Blight? This refers to the darkspawn, the creatures that destroyed this village. Hmm yes...the darkspawn must be destroyed. I suppose I have two options. I could go with it...or go elsewhere?" The golem frowned. "I do not know what lies beyond this village."

Sylina looked around the village and then back at the golem. "I would be happy to have you come with us, golem."

"Are you sure?" Alistair whispered. Sylina looked up at him and gave him a brief nod.

"Then I will follow it about...for now. I am called Shale."

Sylina smiled. "I am Sylina."

Shale sighed. "This should be interesting."

They left Honnleath and upon reaching the bottom of the hill, they set up camp for the night. Alistair was pretty sure it was because Sylina had seen him lagging behind. "I'm sorry about your armor," Sylina said that night as she came up and sat beside him at the fire. He was looking at the hole in his breastplate. He had taken it after the demon attack hoping he could fix it, but he saw that was not likely to happen. The hole in the shoulder plate where the demon had ripped through with her claws was the size of his fist, and was most probably going to be an easy target for enemies.

He put it down on the ground and sighed. "I can keep it for the time being, but...we may need to find new armor soon." He turned to look at her. "And, you know, I don't think it would hurt if you wore something a little more...protective," he said, lifting his eyebrow. "Then perhaps I wouldn't be running to save you every time an enemy gets close." Sylina blushed and turned to the fire.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I thought I could slow her down."

Alistair smiled. "Not that I mind...you know...it would just make things easier."

"I know, and you're right. Robes aren't going to cut it." She fidgeted with her robe and he saw there was blood on it. He wondered if it was his. "I am glad you are alright." She got up and stretched. "Now I gave Leliana the first watch, so you should get some rest. And don't forget to give your shoulder a break." She smiled down at him and walked to her tent. He watched her leave, a small smile on his lips.

Sylina looked over Alistair's shoulder the next morning and re-bandaged it. Afterward they made their way to Orzammar. Leliana told them that it would take a week or two to travel on foot. Sylina stayed back and walked next to Morrigan that morning. "Um...hi." She smiled up at the dark haired witch.

Morrigan frowned at her. "What do you want?"

"I...uh just wanted to thank you for your help yesterday...with the little girl." Sylina bit her lip and looked at the ground where she walked. Morrigan shot her a curious glance before scowling.

"You...wanted to thank me? Why?" she asked, hostile.

Sylina blinked. "Well, because you saved the girl. I mean if you hadn't...you know...the demon would have kept her hold on the girl and we wouldn't have been able to get out of there without killing her."

"If I hadn't slapped her?" Morrigan sneered at Sylina and then laughed. "Do not thank me for reacting. I am not some blundering idiot who does not know how to handle demon possessions." She glared at Alistair's back and Sylina hid a smile.

"Well, thank you anyway." Sylina glanced quickly at the witch before continuing. "And I am glad to have someone here who understands." Morrigan opened her mouth to speak but Sylina trudged on. "I know you don't like the Circle, I get it, but that's where I got my training and I am about as keen as you to go back there." Her hand fidgeted with the chain around her neck. "I am just grateful for your presence, even if you are not grateful for mine." She didn't look up at the witch as she hurried her steps and left the woman behind. Morrigan looked after her, and couldn't stop the corner of one lip curling up.

That day, Sylina tried to walk with everyone else, but eventually she had to realize her limit and they stopped to rest. She felt sickened by her lack of strength, but Alistair told her that it would be pointless to push herself as she wouldn't be doing anyone any good if she wasn't in fighting condition the next day. Sylina let this comfort herself over the next few days. Each night she healed her blisters and the next day walked further. Alistair's shoulder healed nicely and soon they were in the routine of waking up at sunrise and walking until a few hours before dark.

Finally, they made it to the Frostback Mountains. Sylina sighed when she saw the path leading up. They started up and had to stop early. She was glad to see she wasn't the only one exhausted that night when they stopped. She sat next to Alistair at the fire and ate rabbit stew. She looked up at him and saw he was staring into the flames, grief in his eyes.

"Alistair." He turned to her. "D-do you want to talk about Duncan?" She put down her bowl and Hesper appeared immediately to slurp down the rest of her meal.

He sighed and closed his eyes. "You don't have to do that."

Sylina put her hand out and touched his forearm. "I want to, I know he was like a...father to you." She thought back to First Enchanter Irving and how he had always looked out for her. "I can understand that."

Alistair opened his eyes and looked at her hand. His other hand moved up and rested on hers. She felt the warmth of his calloused fingers. "Duncan warned me right from the start that this could happen...any of us could die. I-I should have handled it better. I shouldn't have lost it, not with so much riding on us." He looked at her. "I'm sorry."

Sylina gave him a sad smile. "You do not need to apologize for grieving, Alistair - that is allowed, no matter what Duncan said." She squeezed his arm.

Alistair nodded and stared back into the flames. They sat there for a while before he spoke again. "I...think I'd like to give him a proper funeral, once all this is over. Assuming we still live." He gave a hollow laugh and Sylina squeezed his arm again. He looked at her. "Have you ever had someone close to you...die? I-I don't mean to pry, you don't have to answer that, I'm sorry." He quickly looked back at the flames.

Sylina shook her head. "I didn't..." she bit her lip and looked into the flames. She focused on the warmth of Alistair's hand. "In the tower, there were not many people I was close to." She thought of Jowan and the look of betrayal on his face. Then of Cullen and the sadness in his eyes before turning away from her. "But I know of loss. Perhaps not the same kind, but..." Alistair's hand squeezed hers and they fell silent. They sat there until finally Sylina got up to go to bed. "I will forever be grateful to Duncan for saving me from the tower. He was a good man." Alistair's eyes became watery and he nodded, but didn't say anything. Sylina walked to her tent.


	25. Chapter 25

On the third day up the mountain they were walking in a broad clearing when suddenly three people appeared in their path. Sylina stopped and blinked at them. Sten stiffened next to her and reached for his broadsword.

"The Wardens!" one of the men shouted. "Bring them down for King Loghain!" Sylina jumped back and took her staff out. Sten was advancing on the man and silenced him quickly, but Sylina saw that there were more than three men. As if out of nowhere, men sprouted up along the path, and some behind them. They were boxed in and everyone had drawn their weapons. As the soldiers descended on the group, Sylina started casting. She stepped back, knowing she would be useless if one of the soldiers closed in on her. She cast a flame at a man coming near her and he screamed and went down. She was making her way back to the rest of the group when she saw a mage appear on the enemies' lines. She instantly recognized the elemental power in the woman and she gave a shout.

Alistair saw the woman and dispatched the man closest to him with a shield bash to the head and a sword thrust to the stomach. He turned and headed toward the mage, seeing Sylina taking another step back as a man came near her. Alistair turned to the enemy mage and held out his arm and calling on the powers of a templar, he purged the area of magic and quickly followed by silencing the enemy mage. That's when he heard a scream and an angry shout come from behind him. He turned and saw the spell Sylina had been casting sputter out and the soldier descending on her with an evil grin.

Alistair's eyes rounded as he realized what he had done, and he ran toward her. He felt as if this was his life now, constantly running toward Sylina when she was in danger, but this time it was his fault. Guilt washed over him and he saw the man take an arrow to the shoulder. He silently sent a prayer to the Maker that it would take him down, but all it did was slow the man. The man's blade descended and Alistair thought it was over, only to hear the sound of blade meet wood as Sylina's staff blocked the blade. Alistair was almost there. He saw Hesper racing toward his mistress and wondered who would reach her first.

The second thrust of the blade was blocked again by Sylina, but as she stepped back she slipped on the mud and went down. The man didn't wait to bring his blade down and Alistair heard the scream rip through Sylina's mouth. Then he saw Hesper jump the man his jaws clenching on the man's throat. Alistair didn't wait to see if the Mabari would kill the man – he knew he would – he rushed to Sylina's side, skidding to a halt. The blade had been torn out by the impact of the Mabari's weight meeting the man and Alistair saw blood soaking Sylina's robes. The blow had hit her side below her ribs as she had tried to roll out of the way. She was gasping for breath and writhing in pain. Alistair's hands came up and he tried to put pressure on the wound. She yelped in pain as he touched it.

Leliana was suddenly beside him. "We have to stop the blood." She tore off a piece of cloth and put her hands over the wound.

"I'll kill him!" Alistair looked up as Morrigan was storming toward them. Her look was murderous. Alistair just stared dumbly back at her. "You nearly got me killed you fool!" Morrigan stopped and her eyes widened as she saw Sylina bleeding next to him. "Great. Now she will die and we will be stuck with you." She folded her arms.

Alistair looked back at Sylina who was panting, her eyes shut tight in pain. "Maker, make it stop," she gasped. Leliana was pushing down on the wound and Alistair saw that the cloth she had was soaked with blood.

"We need to do something," he whispered, more to himself as he stared hopelessly at his fellow Grey Warden. She had not just saved him for him to watch her die on the side of this blasted mountain.

"Lyrium," Sylina said between gritted teeth.

Alistair blinked. "I-Sylina I don't have lyrium." He heard a 'tsk' come from behind him and then a small bottle was shoved in his face.

"Take it you fool. She will be able to heal herself." Alistair grabbed the bottle and looked up and was surprised to see a flash of worry beneath the contempt on Morrigan's face. He decided not to ask her how she had gotten the bottle of illegal lyrium.

Alistair uncorked the bottle and moved closer to Sylina's head. Leliana helped him hold her head as he brought the bottle to her mouth. Sylina opened and gulped the contents. When it was drained she gasped and he saw her pupils dilate. He felt the surge of magic, a lot of magic for him to be able to feel it so strongly. Then she put her hands over her wound.

"Get. It. Off," she sputtered out, grasping at the bandage. Leliana grabbed it and threw it off the wound which started leaking fresh blood. Alistair watched as the redhead cut a hole in Sylina's robes where the wound was, exposing it to the air. Sylina barely nodded and put her hand back over the wound. She gritted her teeth and closed her eyes and he saw a faint blue light appear where her hand was. He hadn't noticed this when she was healing his shoulder, but he figured he had only barely been conscious then. He watched for what felt like an eternity before the light disappeared and Sylina slumped against the ground. He looked at the place where the wound had been and saw only red raw skin.

Leliana touched Sylina's face. "She has passed out." Alistair saw that Sylina's eyes were closed and her breathing had slowed down.

"If she used all her mana she will die." Alistair's head snapped up to Morrigan, who was frowning down at Sylina. The witch's brows were furrowed.

Alistair shook his head. "What can we do?" He knew he was addressing the question to the witch, but he couldn't stand to look at her.

"We make camp and hope she is not stupid enough to have drained herself. She should also be kept warm. Her body will have to work less if it is warm...And if she wakes she will need food." Morrigan huffed and as she turned to go. "This is your fault," she snapped and walked away. Alistair felt a wave of guilt go through him. This was his fault. If he hadn't been so stupid as to silence the mage, or if he had aimed instead of just sending out a silence in all directions...Alistair closed his eyes. Sylina would die and it was his fault, just as everything was. Hesper whined and Alistair opened his eyes to stare at Sylina. He was vaguely aware that Leliana had left and he just blinked, watching Sylina breathe.

Suddenly Leliana was back. "Can you bring her to her tent, Alistair? I have set it up, just over there. I have Sten gathering firewood and Shale keeping watch...Alistair?" Alistair blinked at her and then down to Sylina. "Alistair, I can't carry her...I need your help." Leliana's voice was calm and Alistair nodded. He moved his arms under Sylina and lifted gently. He heard her murmur in her sleep, but she didn't move. He carried her over to the only tent set up and ducked inside. Leliana had even set out her bedroll and he placed her on that. He looked down at her and sent a silent plea to the Maker to watch over her.

"Alistair," Leliana said, frowning at him from the entrance to the tent, "perhaps you should stay with her."

"W-what?" he said, looking up at Leliana. Why would he stay with her...in her tent?

"Morrigan said that she should be kept warm and until we get the fire started the next best thing would be body heat." Leliana smiled and her eyes twinkled.

Alistair blushed down to his toes. "B-body heat?" he stammered.

Leliana chuckled. "Yes, Alistair, body heat. It is the next best thing to a fire, no? Just stay in there and she will be warm in no time." He heard Leliana chuckling again as she left the tent.

Alistair blankly nodded and saw the flap of the tent open as Hesper crawled in. The Mabari went to the other side of Sylina and rested his head on her leg. "She'll make it," Alistair whispered and the Mabari turned to regard him with its warm brown eyes.

He sat there for hours and even after the fire was started he couldn't bring himself to leave her side.  _This is my fault_ , he kept telling himself. His hand reached out and held hers as he watched her sleep. Leliana made food, but he wouldn't eat it. Not until she woke up. Because this was his fault. It wasn't until the night had half gone that Sylina finally stirred. Alistair was drifting and he thought he was simply seeing things, as he had thought she had awoken several times already. It wasn't until a faint, "Alistair," was heard that he moved. He was suddenly beside her, leaning over. He saw her eyes squinting in the darkness.

"Sylina?" His heart was beating and he squeezed her hand and felt a small pressure. "Oh, thank the Maker! You're alive." He saw her struggling to rise and he helped her into a sitting position.

She blinked and looked at him. Then her hand stretched down to her side where the wound had been. Her dress had been cut and Alistair saw that the skin was healed, but still raw. She put a slight pressure there and gasped. "So I suppose I didn't dream that," she mumbled, then looked up at him. She was silent for a moment then. "Alistair," she said his name forcefully. Her tone held back anger that he felt immediately.

"I-I'm so sorry Sylina, really I am. I feel awful. I just, I didn't realize..." he felt the guilt wash over him and he tried to bite it back, but hearing her say his name like that broke him. "Please...please I'll do anything. I'm so sorry."

"Alistair," she said his name louder and he stopped. "Please...I just...I need rest." She sighed and settled back down in her bedroll. "Just...leave," she said and rolled on her good side, turning her back on him. He felt as if she had punched him in the gut. He dimly nodded and left her tent.

* * *

The next morning, Sylina couldn't even bring herself to look at Alistair. She knew it wasn't completely his fault, but he was the instigator of the incident. She was angry that he would use his templar abilities so carelessly. She soon found out that Morrigan was just as furious with. She didn't even blame the witch, but at least she hadn't been stabbed because of it. Sylina felt Alistair watching her as they made their way up the rest of the mountain, but she didn't care. Perhaps she was being childish, but until her side stopped hurting she decided he could use a little silent treatment.

They made their way to a small plateau on top of the mountain. Sylina saw the great stone doors at the other end and headed for them. As she was walking up the steps she heard a man shouting: "King Loghain demands the allegiance of the dwarves! I am his appointed messenger!" Sylina sighed. _ **King**_ _Loghain huh_? Her anger boiled as she remembered that that had been what the attackers had been shouting about yesterday.

"Orzammar will have none but its own until our throne is settled," the dwarven guard at the door told the man. Sylina finished walking up the stairs and stood in front of the guard. She couldn't keep the smile off her face – she still found something incredibly adorable about dwarves since she had seen her first one on the road outside Lothering.

"Ser dwarf, I need to get into Orzammar. Why are the dwarves retreating?" Sylina looked quizzically at the guard.

The messenger responded. "They hide because they are dwarves," he sneered and Sylina bit back the spike of rage inside her at his blatant racism.

The guard's voice rose. "I challenge any race to fare as well as we. Our king is dead and the Assembly has gone through a dozen votes, without agreeing on a successor."

Sylina blinked. "But you must unite for Ferelden," she said, panic entering her voice. "A Blight is coming and we need the dwarves as allies."

The messenger turned to her, frowning. "Who are you to speak for Ferelden? You're no messenger to King Loghain, that's for certain," he sneered, looking her over. She glared back at him, this time showing her full contempt for him.

"Thank the ancestors for small mercies then," said the dwarven guard.

Sylina turned back to the guard, straightened her back, and handed the guard the treaty. "I am a Grey Warden, Ser dwarf. I come to see this treaty fulfilled and for Orzammar to aid me in the fight against the Blight."

The messenger turned to her, his eyes wide and disgust clear on his face. "The Wardens killed King Calian and nearly doomed Ferelden! They're sworn enemies of King Loghain!"

The dwarven guard spoke over him. "This treaty bears the royal seal. Only the Assembly can address it." He nodded to her. "Grey Warden, you may pass."

"W-what!?" The messenger turned and pulled out his blade and Sylina instinctually took a step back and suddenly Alistair was beside her, blade in hand. "In the name of King Loghain I demand that you execute this...stain on the honor of Ferelden...or I will!"

"If you fight, take it off my sodding doorstep!" the dwarf shouted at the group.

"If you have any shred of honor left you will fight me, Grey Warden!" the messenger shouted at her. She furrowed her brows at him and then smiled.

"Okay," she said, and saw Alistair stiffen. She walked down the steps and her group followed her, all of them unsheathing their weapons. This man was a fool. Sylina knew even if he managed to harm one of them, he could not possibly take down the whole group. Plus, she was angry, angry about being injured, about Alistair smiting her, about Loghain's tenacity in calling himself king. She wanted to take out her anger, and this fool was the perfect target. At the foot of the stairs her group turned to him and she saw he had several guards that had been waiting. She scoffed, it still wouldn't help him.

The battle was over almost as soon as it started. Sten lopped off two of the guards' heads with one swing and Sylina froze the messenger before he could lift his blade. Alistair sank his blade into the man's heart, Leliana picked off two men and Shale smashed another. Sylina shook her head and headed into Orzammar after the guard thanked her profusely for getting rid of the most annoying man he had ever met. Sylina couldn't help but smile a bit – she almost felt better after killing Loghain's messenger. Some of her anger had extinguished. She turned and smiled at Alistair and saw shock in his eyes, and then she chuckled all the way into Orzammar.

Once they were in Orzammar they quickly figured out what was going on. Two men were battling for the position of King – one was the late King's youngest son and the other was his old advisor. Sylina sighed and shook her head. They also found out that the Wardens had a complex in Orzammar that was gifted to them by the late king. So they ended up there at the end of the day and Sylina was exhausted. Orzammar actually reminded her a bit of the tower. It was mostly stone and she was constantly inside. She didn't mind too much. The ceilings were so high up and she almost forgot that it wasn't sky up there. And it was warm, not hot, just a comfortable warm from the lava flowing through town. Overall she would say she liked Orzammar very much.

The next day she took Alistair, Leliana, and Shale over to the Assembly. The Assembly Steward explained that there was nothing they could do unless they had a king as the treaty only obligated a king to help the Wardens. Sylina asked if there was anything she could do and the steward suggested talking to the candidates' seconds. He told her that Prince Bhelen's second was there in the Assembly hall now. Sylina nodded and walked over to the man.

Prince Bhelen's second, Vartag, told her that if she wanted to speak to the prince she would have to prove her loyalty. "How?" Sylina inquired, unsure if she liked the idea of running around trying to prove she was loyal to a man she did not know.

"If you want Bhelen to support you in your surface war you need to help him reclaim the throne," Vartag said harshly. "Harrowmont is trying to use the same plot of land to buy two different Assembly votes, Lady Dace and Lord Helmi. Take these promissory notes to them to show them the evidence, as a neutral party, of course. Convince them Lord Harrowmont plans to cheat them and you will be able to see Prince Bhelen." He handed her the notes.

Sylina raised her eyebrows. "Um...okay?"

"Do you want to show you are loyal or not!?" Vartag demanded.

"I-uh...sure." She shook her head and asked him where she would find these nobles. Upon him telling her they left.

"So…that wasn't suspicious or anything?" Alistair said, smirking at her.

She sighed and looked up at him, then down to the notes in her hand. "Do we have much of a choice? I mean...he is the king's son, and perhaps if we help him we can get our troops and move on."

"I suppose you're right," Alistair said. They headed to Lady Dace's estate where Vartag said she would be.

"So...are we going to track down this Lord Dace then?" Leliana asked as they left Tapsters. Sylina sighed and shook her head.

"I suppose we have to now," she sighed again and looked out at the lava that was flowing down the street. The patrons at Tapsters had told her that they viewed her as in an alliance with Prince Bhelen, which meant her options of backing out now were slim. She had also spoken to Lord Helmi and shown him the promissory note, and he had decided that Lord Harrowmont had not bought his vote. Sylina didn't like these politics already and they had barely begun to scratch the surface. "Well I guess if we are going down into the Deep Roads we should let everyone know and start preparing. Lady Dace gave us the map and the note with her permission." She groaned, the idea of going into the Deep Roads did not appeal to her. Especially since Leliana had been telling her about what lay down there. Thousands upon thousands of darkspawn, and it would be dark, and there would be corruption. She did not like this one bit.


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26:

Two days later they were headed into the Deep Roads. Sylina was taking everyone with her though she was worried about it since only she and Alistair were immune to the taint. But she had decided to risk it since she couldn't possibly make it down to Aeducan thaig and back with just Alistair and her. She had given them all orders not to touch anything once they left Orzammar. Alistair had also been able to find some armor in the Warden armory that fit so he no longer had to worry about the large hole in his breastplate. The guards at the entrance wished them luck and opened the steel doors to the Deep Roads.

The first thing that hit Sylina was the smell. It smelled rotten, like something damp with mold and decaying flesh. She covered her nose and her eyes watered. She saw Alistair's face with a look of disgust on it and knew she wasn't alone at least. They headed deeper down. When it started to get dark because the lava flows slowed down to mere slits, she and Morrigan lit their staves so that the company could see.

They spent a week in the Deep Roads. Fighting darkspawn and giant spiders and when they finally found Lord Dace he was more than happy to return to Orzammar with them. When they got back, the first thing Sylina did was take a long bath. All her companions had been covered with black ichor by the time they reached Orzammar. She hated the Deep Roads: the entire time they were down there they had spoken little. They had two people on watch duty every night and still Sylina had barely been able to sleep. She could feel the darkspawn everywhere. It had felt like they were crawling in her mind. She and Alistair stayed close to each other the entire time they were down there. It was a mutual agreement because when Sylina was near him, the incessant drone of darkspawn lightened and she could feel him, her fellow Grey Warden.

And now the nightmare was behind her. She shook her head and scrubbed her body again. After she got out of the bath it was time to go see the bloody Prince responsible for sending her down there. She hated him already, hated him for telling her to deliver notes like a lackey, for being sent down into the Deep Roads. And she hated the arrogant man even more after she met him. Sylina was furious that he was asking her to hunt down a thug by the name of Jarvia. And so Sylina found herself at Tapsters with Alistair and Leliana. She was fuming.

"How dare he!?" she growled. "Who does he think he is? We are Grey Wardens, not some city guards for hire." Sylina looked up as Alistair chuckled. "What's so funny?"

He chuckled a little harder and she poked him in the ribs, but couldn't help the tug at the corner of her mouth. "Oh ow...hey. I was just thinking that he thinks he's a prince...and we all know how princes act." He smiled and Sylina scowled.

"I don't care if he was Andraste herself. I just want to get out of here and on with making an army to stop the Blight," Sylina frowned as she looked around Tapsters. "And why did you drag me here?" In fact, Leliana had. After the meeting with the prince, Sylina had been cursing while walking down the street and Leliana had grabbed her and Alistair and pulled them into Tapsters.

"Well...I thought perhaps a drink was in order. I mean we survived the Deep Roads." Leliana smiled shyly. "And I like it in here, even the funny dwarf singing, I miss singing." She giggled as his slurred chorus started.

Sylina sighed. "You're probably right. We should celebrate something, and tomorrow we will go down into Dust Town and kick that little..."

"How about a drink?" Alistair said, calling over the barmaid. The woman returned with three pints of dwarven ale and a plate of roasted nug.

"Oh no! Not nug!" Leliana exclaimed. Alistair looked over at her as he reached for some of the warm food. Leliana was frowning as she looked at the plate.

"What's wrong with nug?" Alistair asked. "It's rather tasty actually. You have to hand it to the dwarves – they know how to cook a hearty meal!" He chuckled.

Leliana looked out towards the main tavern. "I think they are adorable...I just couldn't eat them. I wonder if anyone keeps them as pets, but then you would have to catch them, wouldn't you?"

"Pets! Leliana, they are food," Alistair said, helping himself to more. Sylina had been sitting quietly, looking down at her ale. She had never had ale before, only a glass of wine occasionally at dinner at the tower. She swirled the drink and saw Leliana make an excuse about dancing and leave the table. She saw Alistair stuffing his face with nug and she giggled. "What? Why is everyone always laughing at me?" He gulped and wiped his face and looked at her.

"Perhaps because you look like a starving man when you eat? Perhaps we should buy you a shovel to use instead of a fork?" Sylina laughed for a long time as she watched Alistair blush and push the food away.

"Well, I've seen you eat too, and I hate to say I have wondered the same thing." He was grinning at her and she looked shocked.

"I don't eat like that!" she said indignantly, shaking her head. "You are mistaken, clearly." Then she grinned at him.

"So...you going to drink that ale or stare at it all night?" Alistair asked, trying to change the conversation.

Sylina stared down into the brown liquid. "I have never...had ale before."

Alistair laughed. "Well, try it. Go on."

Sylina put the mug up to her lips and took a gulp. It burned when it went down and had a bitter taste. She also saw the room move. She blinked and looked up at Alistair. He was grinning like an idiot at her and she felt a blush creep up to her cheeks.

* * *

"Perhaps you have had enough?" Alistair asked trying to take the mug away from his fellow Warden. She had only finished half the drink and was clearly drunk. She giggled and tried to bat away his arms. "Okay, remind me never to give you alcohol again." He finally managed to get the pint away from her.

"Y-you're -hic- no f-fuuunn!" she slurred and he couldn't stop from chuckling at her. In fact he hadn't been able to stop smiling at her the whole time they were in there. He shook his head. Everything she did made him smile, even her well-placed anger at the Prince. He sighed – what was he doing? He watched as she ate some of the nug and not-so-sneakily tried to take his ale away from him. He grabbed it and she tried to scowl at him, but instead just giggled more.

"Come on, we should get you back," he said, standing. He looked around, but did not see Leliana and decided the laysister could find her own way back since she had abandoned him with a now very drunk Sylina. Sylina groaned, tried to stand, and almost fell. Alistair grabbed her and she swayed in his arms. Her hand came up to her head and she blinked.

"I...uh don't feel r-right," she said, blinking and looking up at him.

"Come on, the quicker we get to the Warden complex, the quicker you can sleep it off." Alistair put his arm under hers and helped her stand. She leaned on him as they made their way out of the tavern. When they got to the street, Sylina tripped and Alistair just barely managed to save her before she face-planted into the stone. "Okay. That's it." He reached down and put his arm under her legs and lifted. She gasped as he steadied her in his arms.

She giggled. "A-Alistair, hehe, what arrre...y-you doooing?"

He shook his head and started walking. "Getting you back, remember...away from the tavern."

They had been walking a little ways, Sylina giggling and him telling her to stop moving when she sighed dramatically and leaned her head against his shoulder. He almost stopped breathing. He looked down at the top of her head where he could see her eyes fluttering. He wondered what would happen if he kissed the top of her head.  _Oh Maker, stop it Alistair. She is your fellow Grey Warden_ , he thought to himself.

Sylina yawned and glanced up at him. She smiled. "Alistair?" Her hand came up to rest on his breastplate. He felt his heart start beating rapidly.

"Mhmm?" he finally managed, trying not to look down into her beautiful green eyes.

"Haas anyone e-ever told youu..." Alistair glanced down as she trailed off and saw her eyes flutter and then open again. Her hand moved an inch closer to his neck and she blinked. "Um...has anyone...ever told you that you're handsome?" she finally asked, and he nearly missed a step. His heart was hammering and he looked down to see her smiling sweetly at him, her green eyes large.

"Uh..." Alistair cleared his throat. "Well, um...not unless they were asking me for a favor. Well...except for those women in Denerim..."  _Alistair shut up!_  he internally shouted at himself, "But...uh they weren't...well they weren't like you." He could feel the blush going all the way up to his face and he distracted himself by re-steadying Sylina in his arms. He glanced down at her – she was still smiling up at him from his arms. He gave her a hesitant smile. "So...are you telling me you think I'm handsome?"

She giggled. "Maybe..." She buried her face in his shoulder and his breathing became difficult. "But I'll never tell," she whispered next to his ear and he shivered. He was sure she could feel his heart trying to beat out of his chest and all he could do was feel her hair as her head rested against his shoulder, and smell the faint fragrance of the bathing soap she had used earlier. He felt his body ache and felt his armor get hot.

He turned his head slightly and saw her smile, she was so close to him and the warmth of her body was driving him insane. The corner of his mouth quirked at her smile and he whispered, "I'll find a way to get it out of you." She giggled and moved her head so he couldn't see her face, only her hair, though he was sure she was still smiling.

It was a few minutes before he realized she had fallen asleep and then he smiled to himself and shook his head as he carried her the rest of the way to the complex. He carried her inside and saw Morrigan sitting in the common area. She looked up at him and her brows furrowed. "Did you get her injured again, you fool?" Morrigan asked and Alistair blinked at her and stopped.

"Uh...just drunk." He chuckled as he saw Morrigan shake her head, glare at him, and go back to reading. He walked his sleeping fellow Warden to her bed. When he had laid her on her bed he glanced around. Hesper jumped up on the bed and went to Sylina's side giving him a look. "Don't tell anyone," Alistair whispered then bent down quickly and gave Sylina a kiss on the forehead.


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27:

The next morning, Sylina woke with a horrible migraine. She stumbled around until she had all the ingredients for a pain reliever and was making it when Leliana walked in. "Oh, it is good to see you up. When will we be leaving?" Sylina groaned and motioned for Leliana to be quiet. She chuckled and walked over. "So, it's true then. Morrigan was saying you got drunk, but I couldn't have been gone for more than a half hour." The red head giggled and watched as Sylina drank down the potion.

They headed out of the compound and down into Dark Town. Sylina had everyone split up and they looked for information on getting into Jarvia's base. Her head was feeling a little better, but she couldn't keep herself from blushing every time she looked at Alistair. He wore a small grin every time she looked at him and she figured it had something to do with the events she couldn't remember from the previous night.

She shook her head and her hand went to the chain around her neck. When she was away from the others, she took out the amulet. She wasn't sure she wanted them knowing she wore a templar's amulet around her neck. She sighed, wondering if that was because she didn't want everyone to know, or just Alistair. Sylina looked down at the amulet in her hand; one side had Andraste's holy symbol and the other had the templar insignia. She sighed again as she traced the templar sign. Her whole life she had lived around templars, and now her fellow Grey Warden also had templar abilities. She liked Alistair – he made her laugh, was always smiling, and made her feel safe. But...the amulet belonged to another. She put the amulet back down her dress. Perhaps they should hurry to the tower, she needed to know...

"Anything I can help you with my lady?" a young dwarf asked, pulling her out of her thoughts. Sylina saw that he was next to several sleeping nugs.

"Um...you wouldn't happen to know where Jarvia's base is?" she asked, looking at the dwarf.

He shook his head and frowned. "Sorry, I try to stay out of that business. I just take care of my nugs here."

Sylina bit her lip and looked at the nugs. "Hmm, are they dangerous? Can you catch one for me?" The only thing she remembered from the previous night was Leliana being sick because they were eating nug. She felt bad for the laysister who was always polite to her. Perhaps a present is what she needed.

"I could catch you one. One from the Deep Roads, they are healthier. How much you looking to pay?" the dwarf said, standing up and smiling. Sylina sighed. The poverty in this part of town crushed her.

"How much do you want?" They didn't have a lot of money, but she was sure she could spare some for this man to find a nug.

"It'll depend on what I get. I'll go look now." He smiled and left. Sylina headed back to the main area and saw that Morrigan had a bone key and she directed them to a door where they could get in.

Several hours later, Sylina stared down at Jarvia's corpse. She was surprised that she felt nothing, no guilt for killing this woman. She felt bad for Jarvia's men who had just been following orders and had wanted to come to a compromise with Jarvia to spare them. Sylina realized now that Jarvia was probably insane and they would have had to kill her no matter what. Alistair had thrust the killing blow into Jarvia's abdomen after Sylina froze her. She shook her head and went to walk out of the hideout. When she turned to see where everyone else was she was surprised to see Leliana and Alistair going through the corpses. When she asked what they were doing Leliana said they needed money and there might be valuables on the men. Sylina had felt sick and hurried out. When everyone else had filed out she saw Alistair give her a concerned look, but she just shook her head and stayed quiet. She could kill and not feel guilt, but she wasn't sure she was ready to loot dead bodies.

* * *

"No." Sylina glared at the dwarven prince. "You want me to go back into the Deep Roads and look for a woman who has been missing for TWO YEARS and you don't even know where she is! And instead of sending your OWN MEN you are sending the last two remaining Grey Wardens in Ferelden! YOU ARE MENTAL!" She was fuming and Alistair moved a step closer to her.

"If you want my help against the Blight I need to be king." Prince Bhelen stared cooly at her.

"Oh so now you are going back on your word to aid us!" She laughed hysterically and took a step forward. The prince stiffened and Alistair put his hand on Sylina's arm. She glared up at him, but he was looking at the prince.

"Prince Bhelen, we understand that you need this...Paragon to decide the election, but we are in no shape to go back into the Deep Roads for...do we even know how long this will take?" Alistair said calmly, his hand still resting on the furious mage's arm.

"I see," Bhelen scratched his chin. "I think I can solve that. I will send the royal armors to your Grey Warden complex. They can see to it that everyone is properly geared for the Deep Roads. I also understand that most of your company are not Grey Wardens. Yes, well I can have the in-house alchemist make potions which will help prevent them from getting the taint. How many are in your company?" The prince stared calmly at Alistair. Sylina was still glaring at the arrogant dwarf.

Alistair thought for a moment. "There are only three that will need the potions."

"Then it is settled, I will have this done and you will go in search of the Paragon." Bhelen nodded his head and swept out of the room.

Sylina gaped at the departing dwarf and then rounded on Alistair shoving his hand off her and glaring up at him her green eyes flashing. "So that's it then! We are going into the Deep Roads?! Just like that."

"I...uh," he put his hands up and took a step back. "Well, it's not like we have much choice do we? We can't leave until we have our troops which means we have to make sure Orzammar has a king."

She growled at him and stormed out of the palace. Alistair followed, from a distance, as they made their way back to the complex. Sylina was furious. Why did they have to go down into the Deep Roads? What happened if they couldn't find this Paragon? Questions zoomed through her head and various scenarios of what might happen to them. She didn't like any of them.

At the Warden complex, she stormed into her room and Hesper whined at her. She collapsed on the bed next to the Mabari and buried her head in his fur. She desperately wanted to leave Orzammar. She missed being outside, even if she had only experienced it for a few weeks. She didn't like feeling caged again, caged in stone. She laughed dryly into the dog's fur – maybe that would always be her fate?

Eventually she got off Hesper and he licked her face. She sighed and looked at her door.  _I should apologize to Alistair. It's not his fault, and he was far better at dealing with the Prince than me._ She rolled off her bed and glanced down at her robe. Maybe she would look into getting armor when the royal armorer came by. Alistair had once told her it wouldn't hurt to have more protection. She shrugged and walked down the hallway to Alistair's room.

When she got to his door she took a deep breath. She knew he would likely laugh the whole matter off and tell her not to worry, but she didn't like being angry with him. She knocked softly and then opened the door.

She felt her mouth drop open and her eyes get wide as she looked into Alistair's room. Her breath came short and her entire body flushed. Alistair stood in the middle of the room, he was staring off to the side away from her clearly thinking as his brow was furrowed and his hand was combing through his hair. His shoulder was to Sylina and his body was bare. He had just finished a bath and the water droplets were falling down his muscular bare back and defined stomach. Her eyes traveled down his strong shoulders to his tensed stomach and lower as if they had a mind of their own. Sylina watched as his muscles riveted and he turned hearing a sound at his door.

"Sylina!" He grabbed the first thing to cover himself, a towel, but she had seen everything already. She was horrified and quickly closed her eyes and grabbed the door handle. She stepped back and closed it quickly. She had never felt more embarrassed in her life. If the floor could have swallowed her up or darkspawn taken her she would have been happy with that.

Her entire body was flushed and she ran to her room, closed the door and leaned against it.  _By the Maker!_  she thought and quivered. Her breath was still coming short and she was sure she was blushing scarlet. What had she been thinking? Just walking into his room like that. She felt her cheeks with her hand and felt how hot they were. Would Alistair ever forgive her now? She felt terrible. But a small part of her, a part she was trying desperately to squish was throbbing. She felt the heat in her body when she had seen him.  _No,_  she told herself,  _he is your fellow Grey Warden and you have intruded on his nakedness...I mean private parts...I mean what in holy Andraste is wrong with me_? She blushed deeper and put her head against the door.

She had never seen a naked man before. She had seen a few of the templars without armor and only trousers on, and she remembered how she had barely been able to tear her eyes away from them. Alistair was different. His body was more muscled than even the templars had been, and he was larger than any templar she had met, but she also saw scars, from battle no doubt. How many times had he taken the blunt force of an attack aimed at her? How many of those scars were because of her carelessness? She closed her eyes and the image of him came back to her. She opened them and shook her head.  _I will never live this down._


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28:

Sylina completely avoided Alistair for the next few days. He wanted to talk to her, but every time he came close to her, or was even in the same room, she bolted. He shook his head as this happened when he walked into the library. He saw her talking with Leliana and when she saw him she blushed and practically ran from the room. Leliana looked up at Alistair and he saw a small nug tucked next to her.

"What did you do?" she asked, an amused smile on her face.

Alistair blushed and shook his head again. "Um...new pet, or dinner?"

"Schmooples is not dinner!" Leliana said quickly.

Alistair just blinked. "Right then..." He turned and walked out of the library. He wasn't sure how he felt about what had happened. He felt embarrassed, that was for sure. No woman had ever seen him...naked before. He only wished he could talk to her about it. He didn't want what had happened to scare her away. She was his fellow Grey Warden after all.

Alistair sighed. He knew that reason was not the only for him wanting to talk to her. Or even be in the same room with her. After the incident he had realized that he had come to care for her, and every passing day made him want to be closer to her, to know more about her. When she was near him he felt happier, calmer, more confident. He also wouldn't deny that the night the incident had occurred Sylina had played a prominent role in his dreams. Almost all of them were her trying to 'make up' for what she saw. He blushed just thinking about it. Maker if she knew she would likely turn him into a toad, and he wouldn't deny that he deserved it.

The next day the royal armorer came and Alistair was measured and told his armor would be ready within a week. He was happy to get something that would fit, as the breastplate he had been wearing from the Warden's armory was a little tight and chafed him. He missed his splintmail. Bhelen was sending supplies over every day. The day before he had sent enchanted water skins that would not run out while they were in the Deep Roads and the day before that he had sent packs enchanted to hold more and still be light weight. Alistair had to admit all of this would come in handy in the Deep Roads and out.

He was walking around the complex when he saw a dark-haired person turn a corner. He smiled despite himself and followed quietly. He saw Sylina enter the pantry and she was going through some of the stores, clearly looking for something to eat. He entered the pantry and walked up behind her and cleared his throat.

Sylina jumped and yelped as she hit her arm on a shelf. She spun and, seeing him, her eyes went wide and she blushed. "A-Alistair!" she gasped and he couldn't keep a grin from spreading over his face at seeing her.

"So...cleaning out the larder are we?" he asked innocently. "And here I thought you told me  **I**  ate too much." Sylina blushed deeper and looked down at her hands which had bread and cheese in them. She blinked and then smiled shyly up and held them out to him.

"Here you go...I'll...um just go." She went to move past him, but he blocked her way.

"No you don't." He saw her eyes widen and she took a step back. "Listen. I just want to talk to you before we leave for the Deep Roads. And since you've been avoiding me like the plague..." he shrugged and smiled down at her. Then he moved and took the bread and cheese from her hands. "I love cheese, you know that?" he asked, grinning at her.

"I...did not," she said, looking down at the floor.

He cleared his throat again. "Sylina, I-uh..." She looked up at him and then quickly averted her gaze. "I am hoping we can move on from...what happened...you're well...I care for you Sylina...and I..." He blushed and saw her bite her lip. He closed his eyes and sighed. When he opened them again he took a step away from her. "Perhaps it is best if we put this behind us...we can act like it never happened."

Sylina glanced up at him and nodded. Alistair nodded and sighed. He had hoped...but he saw that she wasn't ready for that. He moved away from her and she slipped past him out of the pantry. He saw her smile slightly as she left and couldn't hide the grin that spread across his face as he took a bite of the cheese.

* * *

Everyone was assembled in the courtyard waiting for Sylina. She hurriedly buckled the last clasp and smiled. She grabbed her staff and cloak and walked to the courtyard. As she entered it she saw Alistair turn to her and his mouth drop. She looked curiously at him and then down at her attire. Then she smiled. He walked up to her.

"Um...what are you wearing?" he asked, his eyes scanning down her new leather armor.

She chuckled. "You said I should have armor, so I had that royal armor dwarf make this for me. He made it from light leather so I wouldn't have to worry about getting tired. Do you like it?" She knocked on the stomach of the leather to show him that it was hard. He frowned.

"I-I thought I said you should wear more protection...not less," he said. He seemed to realize he had been gazing intently at her armor and he blushed and looked away.

Sylina looked down. The leathers were tight against her body and she couldn't wear a shift under it. She had to admit they were tighter than most of her robes. She had figured that was part of the protection. The leathers cut off at her knees – the armorer had said it would give her more flexibility, and since the Deep Roads were warm she had decided against wearing leggings. She wore leather arm bands that went to her elbow but no further and the leather armor itself showed off her arms. She hadn't minded and actually liked showing a little of herself. In the tower she was always bundled in robes with long sleeves. She didn't think, other than when she was sleeping, that she had ever worn something so revealing. She blushed but smiled. "Well I like it," she said, looking up at Alistair. "If it doesn't do its job...then you can complain." She chuckled and walked away from him.

They were walking toward the entrance to the Deep Roads when a red haired dwarf stopped them in their path. "I remember you," Leliana said from her place next to Sylina. Sylina turned to her with an eyebrow raised. Leliana blushed. "He was at Tapsters...that night. He is Branka's husband...or was." She whispered the last part. Sylina turned back to the dwarf.

"He, good to see the red-head'll be coming. Heh heh," The dwarf smelled like a brewery. "Names Oghren. And I hear you're going to look for the only living Paragon. Good to see those nug-humpers finally figured out what's what." He shook his head and looked up at Sylina. "Looks like you're the boss. Got it. Well I know where Branka was headed, and you'll need that information to find her."

Sylina nodded. "Good enough. You coming then?" She heard Alistair shift beside her but he said nothing. If this dwarf had any information that would help her get through this faster she would take him along. Plus it would never hurt to have another warrior along.

"Ha ha, I've been waiting two sodding years for someone to say that!" Oghren exclaimed and shouldered his great axe. Sylina nodded and headed towards the entrance to the Deep Roads.

* * *

"Did you hear about the Grey Wardens?" Cullen stopped in his tracks and turned to listen. He heard two apprentices whispering behind the shelves of the library. He silently approached.

"What do you mean?" one of the apprentices whispered cautiously. Cullen leaned in closer to the bookshelf. Sylina had left with the Grey Wardens.  _Sylina_ , he thought and his heart started beating faster. The woman he had loved from afar for so many years. He had berated himself for his feelings, because he knew nothing could ever happen. Nothing should ever happen. And yet something had...the kiss before she left. He felt a blush creep across his cheeks when he thought of the kiss. How he had wanted more, how he had dreamt for weeks after of what he had wanted to do. But no. He had stopped it. As he should never have allowed it to happen. He was a templar, and she a mage, and now a Grey Warden.

"I heard that enchanter Uldred talking. Seems the Grey Wardens betrayed the king and they all died in battle at Ostagar. Teryn Loghain was only just able to save his men from the Grey Warden treachery, but the king died." Cullen felt faint and grabbed the bookshelf to steady himself.  _Maker_. The Grey Wardens betrayed the king. They all died. He felt sick and his mind was reeling from this knowledge. He somehow managed to stumble out of the library. He forgot what he was supposed to be doing, or where he was going. The only thing he could think of was Sylina, and the fact that she became a Grey Warden. She would never have betrayed the king, he knew that. But now...he tried to stop the thoughts, but he was picturing her. Broken and bleeding on a battle field. He felt his eyes water.  _No_ , he thought.  _No, she can't be dead_. He tried again to push it down, to not let his feelings overwhelm him. He was a templar. She was a mage, and now she was dead.  _Maker no_. He felt himself stumble into the chapel and he fell to his knees in front of a statue of Andraste. He looked up at the Maker's bride feeling helpless.

He sat there on the cold stone ground for what felt a lifetime, praying to the Maker and Andraste. He heard a small voice behind him and turned. A mage was kneeling in one of the pyres, her hands clasped as she recited some of the Chant of Light.

"The Light shall lead her safely through the paths of this world, and into the next. For she who..." Cullen got up and intended to leave, knowing that he needed to get back to his duty. That he would be reprimanded for dallying. He was about to leave when he glanced at the mage. She had white hair and on second look he realized he recognized this mage. She was one of the senior enchanters who had gone to Ostagar. His heart stopped as he stared at her. "The Veil holds no uncertainty for her, and she will know no fear of death, for the Maker shall be her beacon and her shield, her foundation and her sword." Wynne stood up and gave the templar a curious glance. "Can I help you young man?" She asked and he realized he had been staring open mouthed at the senior mage.

He shook his head and walked closer, he had to know. "Um...D-did you go to Ostagar?" he asked nervously wringing his hands as he approached her.

She gave him a look over and then sighed. "I did." She looked toward the statue of the prophet, "I only wish I could have done more." She closed her eyes and Cullen had a feeling she was seeing the horrors of the battle again.

"D-did you...uh happen to see...I mean while you were there...a mage...she was recruited to the Grey W-Wardens," Cullen blushed and looked at the ground. Why was he torturing himself like this?

The mage looked at him with a bemused expression and then she shrugged. "I did. I assume you are speaking of Sylina? Yes, I saw her. Helped her clean up after her trip down to Ostagar with Duncan." After a pause the woman added, "Why does she interest you?" A small amused smile on her lips.

"Ah...um. N-no reason. I mean...well I knew her...and I just wanted to see...I mean I guess it doesn't matter now..." He blinked back the emotions threatening to spill out. He wanted to know if she was alright. But this mage wouldn't know. And it was too much to hope that she had somehow escaped...not when all the other Grey Wardens were dead with the king.

Wynne eyed him and her mouth thinned. Finally, when Cullen was about to turn and leave she spoke: "I believe Sylina and another young Grey Warden were to light the signal fire in the Tower of Ishal. The light was lit, so I suppose she was alive then. But that is when the Teyrn quit the field...I do not know what happened to her after that."

Cullen stared at the mage. "S-she wasn't in the battle?" he asked, breathless.

"No. Not that I was aware of." The corners of the old mage's lips curved up slightly. "So I suppose there is hope yet." She then nodded to the templar and left the chapel. Cullen stayed there stunned for several minutes before realizing he would be in deeper trouble if he did not report for his next guard station and dashed out of the chapel thanking the Maker and asking him to watch over her wherever she may be.


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be trying to post once a week, hopefully Saturday. We will see with how hectic school gets.

Chapter 29:

The first few days in the Deep Roads were not exciting. Sylina still hated it and everyone was relatively quiet and contemplative, except for the dwarf of course. He seemed to be constantly drunk and making horrible jokes at every moment. On the fourth day they were fighting a band of darkspawn when Sylina turned to see Morrigan changing. She screamed and the spot where the witch had been there was now a horrible large spider. Sylina stumbled back and the spider ripped the heads off three darkspawn. She saw Alistair charging the spider and it hissed at him. Sylina shouted that it was Morrigan and Alistair stared at her, dumbfounded. After the battle Morrigan changed back and glowered at them all.

Everyone avoided her until they made camp that night, or at least it could have been night or day since time was of no relevance in the Deep Roads. Sylina looked over to see Morrigan making her own fire away from everyone else and sighed. She bit her lip and walked over to the the dark-haired witch. "Um...hello Morrigan," she said taking a seat on the ground a few feet away from the witch.

"Speak Warden," Morrigan demanded, not taking her eyes off her small fire. Sylina heard laughter from the other fire and saw Morrigan flinch slightly.

"I was just wondering...what happened today?" She had been incredibly interested in the fact that Morrigan had changed her shape, but the witch had practically impaled anyone who came close to her after it happened so Sylina had kept her distance.

"You saw what happened. You have eyes, no? I changed my shape, an old skill of Flemeth's." Morrigan glanced up at Sylina before putting her gaze back on the fire. "I had thought I mentioned it before, but I was mistaken."

Sylina shook her head. "I have read many tomes on magic, though I would say I can only perform half the spells I was taught. But I have never heard of shapechanging before. I did not even know it was possible."

Morrigan frowned. "Well 'tis not unheard of. Though I would not be surprised if your Chantry kept the knowledge hidden from you. The zealots in the Chantry would destroy all practitioners of ancient magics if they could."

"I don't see why. Ancient magic should be preserved to be used by newer generations of mages. It is not dangerous...or is it?" It hadn't looked like blood magic as Morrigan had not cut herself to perform the change.

"'Tis not dangerous...for the caster. But for others..." Morrigan glanced up at Sylina again and curiosity showed. "But I'm shocked you think differently from your Chantry, being a mage of the Circle, as you were." Morrigan looked her over and a small smile tugged at her lips. "But perhaps you felt a little like a caged bird, caught within that dark tower?"

Sylina nodded staring at the flames. A caged bird indeed. Being thrown from the tower into the pit of the earth.

"I thought as much," Morrigan said, turning back to the flames. They sat in silence for several minutes before Sylina got up.

"Well, I think it is a useful skill, and perhaps someday you may teach me...if you want." Sylina smiled down at the witch and walked toward the larger fire.

Morrigan watched her go and turned back to her fire. "A most practical opinion," she muttered into the flame.

So on through the Deep Roads they went. Killing darkspawn and spiders. They found Branka's journal and headed to the Dead Trenches. They killed more darkspawn and the days began to run together. Sylina forgot how long they had been down there, she forgot how the sun felt on her skin, how the wind moved through her hair. She forgot what it felt like to be clean and well-rested. Every night her darkspawn dreams were worse. She felt as if they could see her, as if the archdemon itself saw into her and knew where she was and what she was doing. When they rounded a corner in the Deep Roads and Sylina saw a large drop off she walked toward it. She could feel the thrum of the taint in her blood. She knew that there was a massive amount of darkspawn down there. She fearfully glanced at Alistair and tiptoed to the edge.

She saw lights, glowing torches and she saw the darkness around them moving. The darkspawn moving. "By the Maker," Leliana breathed next to her looking down. Sylina could only stare. She felt weak, helpless. How could they ever defeat so many? She looked at Alistair and saw fear in his eyes as he looked at her. He knew how she felt.

Suddenly there was a terrible roar and Sylina jumped back from the edge. She almost landed on Sten, but at the last second the qunari steadied her with his giant hands. She would have said thank you, but just then a giant black dragon appeared flying up over the gorge. Sylina's eyes widened and she stopped breathing. She knew that dragon, she knew its roar. It was the one from her dreams, the archdemon. She could do nothing but stand there gaping at it as the dragon flew to a bridge and screamed its orders at the darkspawn below. And she could feel it, feel its orders, feel its very presence within her. And she felt the darkspawn respond, felt them move faster below, faster to the surface, to the Blight. Sylina shuddered and felt strong arms grab her. She blinked. Alistair was holding her tightly against him and she hadn't realized she was crying. She was crying because there was no way they could do this. They would never be able to defeat the Blight.

And so she sobbed into his ichor stained armor and felt his grip tighten. She was no leader, who was she kidding? She was a Circle mage, a girl who knew nothing and was far too innocent. She didn't know how to raise armies, how to command men. "I c-can't do this," she gasped out, her body shaking.

Alistair leaned down and put his forehead against hers looking into her eyes, "Yes, you can." His hands still gripped her and she stared into his eyes. She saw resolve. Alistair would not stop. He would try until his dying breath to stop this Blight, she knew that. She weakly nodded, because she would not leave him alone to that fate. She would fight with him...and if she should perish she would know that her sacrifice will not be forgotten.

* * *

Alistair sat down next to Sylina at the fire when they finally stopped for the night. After seeing the archdemon it had taken several minutes to calm everyone down and continue on. Alistair had stayed next to Sylina the rest of the day. She had not spoken, not since seeing... He shook his head, he didn't want to think about it. Seeing her like that, broken, crying, with fear in her eyes, had made Alistair realize that he would do anything to protect her. He would have tackled the archdemon right then and there if only to make sure he never saw her like that again.

"Alistair," Sylina whispered and he turned to her. She just stared into the flame, not blinking, not moving. Finally she bit her lip and her hands clenched. "Just...talk...make me...forget." She looked up at him and he saw the fear in her eyes.

He cleared his throat and looked toward the flames. "Um, well...let's see. I could tell you about..." His mind drew a blank, what could he possibly say that would take her mind off  **that**?

"Tell me about being a templar," she said and he saw her hand go to the chain around her neck, he wondered, not for the first time, what hung there beneath her leathers.

"Well...let's see. I went to the Chantry when I was very young. I hated it there." He shook his head and sighed.

"Why did you go to the Chantry? What happened to your parents?" Sylina blinked at him and frowned.

"Um..." Well he had walked right into that one didn't he?  _Quick, think of something Alistair_! "Well I was raised by devout Andrastian dogs...flying dogs actually. From the Anderfels." He blinked at himself.  _Flying dogs_? Maker couldn't he have thought of something at least realistic.

"Well I suppose that explains the smell," Sylina commented, the corner of her lips turning up into a small smile. Alistair looked at her, shocked for a second, and then broke into a wide grin.

"And the table manners. Though I remember the other templars ate like that too," Alistair grinned at her and she laughed.

"So these flying dogs...they what? Sold you to the Chantry?" Sylina asked, smirking at him. He was surprised to see her playing along with his story and glad that it was causing her mirth. He would do anything to make her smile.

"Well now my fellow Warden. There is your first problem," he said, shaking a finger at her. "You started listening to me. I can tell you that is never a good sign."

"Oh, are we in for another Blight or just more horrible cooking?" Sylina said laughing and shaking her head, a faint 'hey' was heard from across the fire from Leliana who was usually the one cooking. "Ha, sorry Leliana."

Alistair looked at her and nudged her shoulder with his. "You don't really want to know about my life, do you? It's pretty boring."

She smiled up at him and nudged his shoulder back. "I do Alistair. If you tell me your story I'll tell you mine. I guarantee mine is more boring though."

"Oh, I doubt that. Learning magic is a giant tower, sounds exciting to me." Alistair glanced at the fire and gathered his thoughts. "Alright...I suppose I should start from the beginning then..." He told her about his mother being a serving girl at Redcliffe castle, that she had died when he was young and that the arl raised him. He told her about how the arl's new wife thought the rumors about him being Arl Eamon's bastard were true and how the arl sent him to the Chantry. How he hated it there and how he shattered his mother's amulet because he was so angry about being sent away. He told her the only thing that he enjoyed was the training itself, that he took pride in the one thing he was good at. "But I never felt at home at the Chantry, or anywhere really. Until...Duncan recruited me to the Grey Wardens. He thought my abilities would come in handy when we came up against darkspawn magic, so I've kept it up." He sighed and glanced at Sylina. Her chin was in her hand and she was gazing up at him. He smiled. "What about you? Still consider the tower home?"

She blinked and shook her head. "I-I don't know. I mean it's not like I can go back there...nor do I exactly want to."

"Not feeling a little homesick for the comfy tower?" he asked teasingly.

"Ha well..." She gestured around the dark damp passage they were in. "I guess this is my life now. I don't think I could ever go back to sitting in a tower reading books."

He frowned. "We won't always be traveling like this, you know. Eventually, when the Blight is over...well, we'll have to think about having a real home again." He sighed and gazed into the flames. "Though that seems a far ways off."

She frowned and bit her lip. Her hand moved to rest on his forearm. "Then I'll be there. Wherever the Grey Wardens go...wherever you go."

Alistair blinked and looked down at her hand. He looked up at her and saw she was smiling shyly at him. He smiled. "I...I guess I like the sound of that," he said, blushing. He saw her cheeks tinge pink and she moved her hand off his arm.

* * *

"Broodmother." The eerie voice of Hespith echoed from somewhere behind them. Sylina shuddered and turned to Alistair as they walked down the winding pathway. They had spoken to the woman after hearing her sinister poem and Sylina was not sure what to make of what she had told them. It sounded like the dwarves of Branka's house had been taken by the darkspawn, though she wasn't sure if corruption had taken them...or something else.

"I don't like thi..." As they turned a corner she saw it. The monster called Broodmother. It was disgusting, hideous. Once a dwarf and now...a creature. Sylina felt her stomach roil and she gagged. Pushing down the bile she felt her companions move around her. The mother had tentacles and was massive. How would they defeat this?

Suddenly she shouted, shouted for them all to get away, to stay away from the Broodmother. Pulling on her mana she called a firestorm down upon the once dwarf. She pulled for more and felt the heat intensify. She saw darkspawn on the edge of her vision but she focused all her energy on the flames, on making them larger, more powerful. She heard the creature shriek and scream as the flames licked her body. Then she felt her mana dip, the warning that she was low. She pulled away from the spell and watched as the firestorm dragged on. It would end soon and then the creature would be greatly weakened and still burning. Sylina looked around and saw her companions fighting darkspawn and the tentacles of the creature. She cast a spell to make their weapons licked with fire and heard Oghren shout, "That's more like it!" as he sank his now flaming ax into a darkspawn's body.

And now she was low on mana and she stayed away from the fight, dodging darkspawn and tentacles. She saw Sten reach the Broodmother, saw him launch his giant body onto her chest and his blade sank into her, where her heart would be. She heard the dying scream of the creature and Sten jump off, pulling his ichor-stained blade out. Then it started to quiet down. The darkspawn were dead or fleeing, the Broodmother was slumped, dead and her tentacles were no longer a threat.

Sylina nodded and moved amongst her companions. She saw Leliana had a gash on her side and she stopped the bleeding with magic and bandaged her up, then she moved on to Oghren who shook her off when she tried to heal his arm, saying it was nothing more than a scratch. Alistair was sitting on the ground and she found him bleeding out of his leg with Hesper leaning against him with a torn ear and a burn on the side of his body from getting too close to her firestorm. She looked around to make sure everyone else was capable of healing their wounds, she knew Sten wouldn't let her use magic on him so she only hoped his wounds were not severe, before walking over to him.

"Can I look at that?" she asked, kneeling down next to his leg.

"I-it's fine, really," he tried, but when she touched it he flinched.

"Sure it is," she said smiling and pulling on her mana to heal the wound. Over the weeks of healing minor cuts, bruises and abrasions she had found her healing spell was more powerful. She would never be a Spirit Healer, as that required direct connection to Fade spirits, but she could heal well enough. She looked up as she finished closing the wound and saw Alistair staring at her. She blushed and moved over to Hesper. "Oh you poor baby," she cooed. "Did you get hurt? I told everyone to stay back from the flames, baby." Hesper whined while she pulled on her mana and he licked her hands.

"How come you don't talk to me like that when I'm injured?" Alistair asked in a feigned hurt voice. She glanced up and saw him grinning down at her.

Sylina chuckled as the burned Mabari healed. Then she hugged Hesper, smiling, and said in a baby voice, "Becaws you awe not my big adowable puppy. No, you awen't."

"You don't think I'm big and adorable?" Alistair raised his eyebrows and pouted.

Sylina laughed. "You're right, you're pretty cute." She was still sitting on the ground and Hesper was trying to lick every inch of her.

"Cute? Cute. Ouch, you really know how to hurt a man." Alistair looked hurt and put his hand on his chest as if struck. Sylina giggled and he shook his head and grinned at her.

"We should move on," Sten's baritone voice interrupted. He was standing a few feet away looking at them. He was frowning, but Sylina had quickly found out that the qunari was always frowning. She nodded, pushed Hesper off her, and stood. Alistair sighed and followed suit. Sten sheathed his sword and they headed out of the chamber. As they were leaving Sylina heard Hespith's voice from above. She looked up to see the woman on a cliff looking down at them with hollow eyes.

"That's where they come from. That's why they hate us...that's why they need us. That's why they take us...that's why they feed us. But the true abomination...is not that it occurred, but that it was allowed. Branka...my love...The Stone has punished me, dream friend. I am dying of something worse than death. Betrayal." Hespith turned and disappeared into the shadows.


	30. Chapter 30

"Branka you mad, bleeding nug tail! Does this  _thing_  mean so much to you that you can't even see what you've lost to get it?" Oghren shouted at his wife. Sylina glanced from him to Branka who was looking past the steel golem Caridin at the Anvil of the Void.

Branka turned to stare with disgust at Oghren. "Do you not see what our empire has become? A crumbling tunnel filled with darkspawn? The Anvil is the way to let us take back our glory!" She had a frantic gleam in her eye and Sylina shuddered.

"You can't truly believe it is worth enslaving people, your own people?" Leliana asked, her eyes wide with shock at this Paragon. Branka didn't appear to have heard her.

"Psh, sounds like a fine plan to me," Morrigan muttered from behind Sylina.

"Then perhaps you should go first," Alistair shot at the witch, glaring at her. Morrigan glared back and folded her arms.

Sylina had heard enough. She shook her head and readied her staff. "Stand down Branka. The Anvil will be destroyed."

"So we will fight with Caridin. Good. That seems right," Shale said moving into a readying position.

Oghren turned from Branka to Sylina. "Just give her the blasted thing! She's confused, once she calms down...maybe we can talk to her!"

Sylina looked at Oghren, she saw sadness and worry in his eyes. She hadn't spoken to him much since entering the Deep Roads, but she could see he loved this woman, despite everything she had done. She shook her head and was about to try and talk to the woman when Branka unsheathed her sword.

"No! I will not let you take it from me while I still live. Golems obey me! Attack!" She was waving around a control rod and several golems near Caridin activated and started charging the group.

* * *

The battle over, Sylina did her rounds to each companion healing their wounds. Morrigan had been knocked unconscious by one of the golems and she had been surprised to see Sten standing over her during the battle to make sure she was not squished. She smiled, perhaps there was more to the qunari than he let on. Other than Morrigan, Leliana had obtained a few broken bones which Sylina mended to the best of her ability, and Alistair was once again bruised and scrapped. Oghren had stayed back in the fight so he was not injured and it had been Shale who had crushed Branka's skull. Sylina shuddered and avoided looking in the direction of the once Paragon.

"Thank you." Sylina turned to see the huge steel golem walking toward her. "Your compassion shames me."

Shale walked up beside Sylina. "How was the woman able to disable you, but not me?" the golem asked Caridin.

"I do not know. Have you been altered?" Sylina looked from the steel golem to the stone golem with crystals embedded in  _her_  body. Sylina silently suppressed a giggle at thinking of Shale as a woman.

"A pathetic mage once experimented on me, I killed him and it rendered me paralyzed," Shale said matter-of-factly.

"The death of the master always results in paralyzing the golem. As for your free will, you were always a strong woman, Shale." Caridin said. He sighed and turned back to Sylina. "The Anvil waits for you to shatter it. But before you do, is there any boon you wish of me? A final favor before I am freed of my burden."

Sylina looked at her companions. She saw Oghren staring at his dead wife's body from where he had sat since the battle had finished. She sighed and shook her head. "No. There is nothing I can ask of you."

"Wait." She turned to see Alistair rising. He winced as he still had many bruises she could not heal. "We still need a Paragon's vote to decide the king." He walked over to stand beside Sylina looking up at the steel golem.

"Then I shall forge you a crown for the king of your choice," Caridin said and he turned to walk toward the Anvil.

* * *

"Well that beat the sod out of how I imagined," Oghren said, sighing and taking a seat next to Sylina at the fire. She turned to him and frowned. She felt guilty for being the cause of Branka's demise. But as she had thought on it since the battle, she couldn't see any other outcome. After Caridin had forged the crown Sten had smashed the Anvil and Caridin had taken his life by falling into the lava below. Sylina had decided that it would be better to stay near the Anvil for the night since no darkspawn were near and they could close the doors to the room and stay safe for the night. So now the company spent the first night in a long time near a fire without worry of darkspawn.

"I'm sorry Oghren," Sylina said, frowning into the fire. "I wish..."

"Don't go a-wishin Warden. It'll only make you regret a lot of things," the dwarf said as he took a swing of his flask. He paused. "Want some? It'll calm the nerves."

Sylina shook her head. The last thing she wanted was to be drunk in the Deep Roads.

"Oghren?" Leliana's voice floated over to them from where she stood. She was glancing at a large stone wall with what looked like writing on it. "Can you tell me what this is? Do you think you could read it?" the laysister called, turning to find the dwarf at the fire.

He grunted, got up, and walked over to Leliana. Sylina's eyes drifted back to the fire. She heard stomping and the heavy sigh of the stone golem behind her. "Hello, Shale," she said.

"Oh good, it is aware of my presence. I have a question for it."

Syling sighed and stood up to stretch. She turned to the golem. "Okay, what is the question?"

Suddenly Shale looked nervous, or as nervous as a creature of stone can look. "It is just… Caridin said that I was a woman, a dwarf. That I volunteered for this. I must know about my past."

Sylina blinked at the golem. She was pretty exhausted from fighting and solving puzzles in Caridin's maze and then the battle with golems. She would say her patience was wearing thin. She sighed. "That is not a question Shale. What is it you want? I cannot tell you of your past."

"No. No it couldn't, could it?" Shale sighed. "But perhaps while it travels through the Deep Roads I might remember something. A clue as to my past?"

Sylina nodded, her eyelids heavy. "Okay, Shale, if you find something we'll investigate." She yawned. "Now I am going to sleep. Good night." She turned and walked to her tent. She crawled inside where Hesper was already curled up asleep and sleep found her quickly.

* * *

"I can't believe what Caridin said was true," Shale said while they walked out of Cadash thaig. Needless to say Sylina hadn't been thrilled when on the sixth day walking back to Orzammar the stone golem had suddenly said she recognized where they were. They had then traveled three days out of the way to Cadash thaig and found a stone tablet that showed Shale's lineage and house. And in reality the damn steel golem had already said as much. Sylina just shook her head and muttered to herself. She wanted to get her blasted ass out of the Deep Roads and as quickly as possible. She was exhausted, angry, and dirty. She desperately wanted to sleep and bathe and feel the fresh air of outside on her skin.

"Yeah, yeah you were a dwarf woman. Great. Let's get back to Orzammar," Alistair said from next to Sylina. She looked up to see dark rings around his eyes and perhaps it was the dirt caked to his face but he looked as if he had aged since they entered the Deep Roads. They had both seen so much in these tunnels. They exchanged a look that told her he felt the same.

And they made their way back to Orzammar. Day by day. Sylina pushed them each day until they were exhausted. But they made it back quicker. And finally the doors to the Deep Roads opened and she saw the light of Orzammar. She could have cried if she had the energy. Instead, she nodded dimly to the guards and walked directly to the Warden complex.

After what she was sure was the longest bath of her life, she finally donned on clothes and marched herself, Alistair, and Oghren to the Assembly.

"Lords and Deshyrs, please-" the Steward shouted over the rabble.

"My father has one heir, who would deny me my rightful throne!" Bhelen yelled from atop his dais.

"Your father made me swear on his deathbed you would not succeed him," Harrowmont said from the other side of the Assembly.

Sylina shook her head and descended the stairs with the crown tucked under her arm. The Steward noticed her and nodded.

"Warden," Bhelen said from high up. "What news do you bring us?"

Sylina opened her mouth to speak, but Oghren stepped forward. "This Warden found the Paragon Caridin trapped in the body of a golem. After setting him free he forged a crown for a king chosen by the ancestors themselves."

Sylina glanced at him and held out the crown for the Steward.

"We are supposed to believe this from the Warden who is known to be in Bhelen's pocket?" Harrowmont said glaring down at Sylina.

"This crown bears the symbol of the Caridin house," the Steward said after examining the crown. "Tell us then Warden, who did the ancestors choose?"

Sylina's eyes traveled up to the arrogant prince. He sneered down at her and she felt her blood boil. Alistair put his hand on her shoulder and she looked up into his eyes. He knew how she felt, but they both knew it didn't matter. The only thing that mattered was stopping the Blight. She sighed. "He chose Bhelen," she said, and turned and walked out of the Assembly. She heard Bhelen begin making a speech and heard him descending to be crowned. She didn't care. When the stone doors closed behind her she pinched her nose and walked back to the complex alone.


	31. Chapter 31

Alistair sighed when he finally made it back to his room. When he had noticed Sylina was gone from the hall he had been worried. He had tried to get back to the complex, but kept being stopped by dwarves in the street thanking him for bringing them a king, for restoring order. When he had walked in he had seen Shale by the door and asked if Sylina had come back. The stone giant had sighed and said that 'it' had been back for some time and had retreated into 'its' room. Alistair shook his head. Sylina was likely just resting. He didn't want to disturb her.

He walked further into his room and picked up a book he had been reading before they went into the Deep Roads. It was a history of the Grey Wardens. He wished he had had more time to learn from Duncan...He stopped that thought.  _It is time to move on, Alistair. Duncan would want you to be strong. Sylina_ _ **needs**_ _you to be strong. Like in the Deep Roads_. He still remembered her face after seeing the archdemon. The terror in her eyes, the tears running down her face, unnoticed by her, the way her body had shaken slightly. He remembered holding her in his arms, of how she had clung to him like he might disappear. Every night the darkspawn were not in his dreams she was. And every night she was he woke with the need to hold her. He wanted nothing more than to run his hands...Alistair shook his head. Maker he needed to stop. He brushed his hand through his hair, sat down in a chair and opened the book. Reading would help settle his mind, he decided.

He was at the third Blight when there was a knock at his door. He looked up and a grin spread over his face, he wondered if Sylina had learned to knock before entering his room. He chuckled to himself and got up. He went to the door. "I was wondering if you would stop by," he said, as he opened the door.

"Y-Yooouu weeere expecting me?" Leliana slurred at his door smiling broadly at him and falling forward. Alistair blinked and the smile slid off his face. He only just managed to catch her before she hit the ground.

"Maker. Leliana." His mind was reeling. What was Leliana doing here? Knocking on his door? And she was drunk.

She giggled in his arms and struggled to stand. "Oghren..." Alistair groaned. "Weee 'elebrated Alistair!" She shouted and danced out of Alistair's arms and around the room. "Yoooou schould've come." She turned to pout at him and batted her eyelashes. She had made her way more into his room. And was stumbling around touching books on the shelves.

"Leliana." He had no idea why she was in his room. And, frankly, it unnerved him a little. "Maybe we should get you to  _your_  room? What do you think?" Alistair smiled at her and the laysister giggled and blushed.

"Buuut," she pursed her lips together and started walking toward Alistair, "I-I dun think I waant to, no." She approached him and he froze.  _Maker, what is she doing_? Leliana reached him and her hands trailed up his shirt. "I waaant to stay heeere," she said, looking up, her hands continuing their progress towards his neck. He gulped.

"Um, Leliana." He reached up and grabbed her hand away from him and tried to step back, she swayed and he had to catch her before she fell again. His heart was hammering and he was trying to frantically search for a solution.

"Dis cannot be surprise Alistair?" Her hands were combing through his hair and he was looking around hoping a solution would present itself as her face was coming closer to his, his arms were the only thing holding her up. "You are very handsome, no?"  _Oh Maker, why do drunk women keep telling me I'm handsome_?

He was trying to carefully extract himself from her but she only clung to his hair and her mouth was closing in. Alistair heard a small gasp at his door. He spun and Leliana's grip was broken and he heard her fall to the floor. Sylina stood there her eyes wide and mouth open. She blinked and took a step back.

"Sylina!" Alistair shouted as he watched the dark-haired woman hurry away. He felt frozen in place, his heart hammering loudly. Maker, what had she seen? He turned to see the red-head picking herself up from the ground. He silently cursed his stupidity and luck. Leliana was giggling.

"Sylina? He he. I'm nooot Sylina silly." She grabbed his leg and helped herself up. Alistair wanted nothing more than to fall into the floor, or run down the hallway and explain to Sylina what she had just seen. But he couldn't very well leave Leliana like this, on the floor to his bedroom, as she was grabbing onto his shirt as if it were a lifeline.

Somehow he managed to half-carry half-drag the laysister to her room. She was giggling and bringing her face close to him the entire time. He was pretty sure she had tried to kiss him several times on their way to her room. Alistair felt as if his face was on fire and all he wanted to do was run away and go to Sylina's room. Finally, he deposited Leliana on her bed. "Ohitssocooomfy!" she shouted into her pillow and Alistair rolled his eyes. He then practically ran out of her room before the laysister would remember he was there.

He walked quickly to Sylina's door and knocked on it. His blood was pumping and he had no idea what he was going to say, but he couldn't leave it like that. He didn't hear a response. It was quiet. He knocked again. "Sylina? Are you in there?" he called quietly. He ran his hand through his hair.  _Maker, help me._ There was no noise on the other side of the door, but he thought he heard a low growl. He sighed and rested his head against the door.

Who was he kidding? He knew exactly what it had looked like. And now Sylina thought him and Leliana... It hurt him. Physically. That Sylina wouldn't open the door for him. He knew she was inside, knew she would have run to her room. And a small part of him wondered if it was because she felt the same way about him as he felt about her, and that he had just blown it. He frowned and felt ill. But perhaps, tomorrow. He lifted his head off her door. Tomorrow. She couldn't avoid him forever. He would explain. Like the time she walked into his room and...he smiled. Yes, he would explain tomorrow and everything would be better.

The next morning he purposely walked through the hall waiting for Sylina to show herself. He needed to see her as soon as he could. He had spent all night rehearsing what he was going to say. He was going to tell her how he felt. He was going to tell her that Leliana had been a misunderstanding, that nothing had happened. He breathed. Yes, he would tell her and she would...Maker he had no idea what she would do. But he needed to tell her anyway.

Finally, he heard the door at the end of the hallway open. He saw Sylina and Hesper exit. He felt his breath leave his body. After so many weeks -no months- he remembered, of seeing her in leathers, he had forgotten what she looked like in a dress. She was wearing a light blue dress that had white embroidered sleeves and hem, with her long black hair down, shining slightly in the lamplight. The dress clung to her and his eyes followed the curve of her. Down from her collarbone to her waist and hips. He felt his breath come back, but faster, as heat built in his body. He stared open mouthed at her as she walked down the hall. She glanced up, saw him and stopped.

He cleared his throat and shook his head, trying to clear it, but knowing it was futile. "S-Sylina," he said, taking a few steps toward her. He had memorized what he was going to say. But he had been undone by the dress. By the sheer beauty of her, his fellow Grey Warden. The woman he knew he had fallen in love with. His eyes tried to focus on her face, but they fell to the amulet she was wearing around her neck. The amulet he had wondered about since he had first met her. His eyes widened as he recognized the symbol. "T-that's...a templar amulet," he managed to say finally as her eyebrows raised at him.

She looked down and took the amulet in her hand. "It is," she said simply, her fingers tracing the sword down the middle.

Alistair's mind was reeling. Sylina looked up at him, her expression neutral. He blinked. "I-I wanted to apologize...for last night..." he began, trying desperately to remember what he had been going to say. Something about coming to care deeply for her and wanting to be close to her...Maker, the amulet!

"Alistair," she said, dropping the amulet. "You do not need to apologize. It does not matter to me what you do in your spare time, or who you spend that time with. We are Grey Wardens. As long as you fight by my side that is all that matters." She nodded to him and started to walk by.

He sputtered and spun as she made her way around him. "Y-you're not mad? N-not..." He stopped himself from saying jealous only barely.

She turned and regarded him, then she said in a clear voice that held no emotion. "No, I am not mad. May I suggest that next time you close your door?" she said and he felt the chill at the end of the sentence. She turned to continue walking.

"Wait!" She turned again and rolled her eyes.

"Yes, Alistair," she said, her patience obviously wearing.

"Um...the amulet...wh-who is it from?" He felt himself redden and he fought back the urge to run.

"A templar from the tower that I...was acquainted with." A small smile reached her lips as she touched the amulet. "We were very close and he gave it to me for protection before I left."

"Oh." Alistair dropped his gaze to his feet. So she was taken. By a templar. "I see." He frowned.

"We are going to the Circle after we leave here. Hopefully you can meet him." She turned and continued walking down the hall.

Alistair stared at his feet and fought back the feelings threatening to overwhelm him, the feeling of his heart being torn to pieces. "Right," he finally whispered into the empty hallway.

* * *

"Give me a moment Warden," Oghren said as they walked out the doors of Orzammar. Sylina looked down at the dwarf. He had asked several nights ago if he could accompany them on their journey. She had gladly accepted his help. She wasn't about to turn anyone away at this point. Plus the dwarf had helped secure some money when he brought a tracing of that strange tablet that had been down with the Anvil of the Void to the Shaper who had heftily rewarded them. With the money, Sylina had been able to buy supplies for the journey to Kinloch Hold and still have money left over. And she still knew that, despite everything, their task was immense and the likelihood of achieving it, as Shale was constantly pointing out, was very, very slim. So she accepted the red-headed dwarf's help and hoped he stayed sober enough during the months ahead to aid her.

She nodded to him. "Take your time," she said, and headed down the stone steps. She looked up at the beautiful blue sky, not a cloud in sight that day, and let herself take in for a moment the feeling of freedom she felt after months of being trapped underground. She was so happy to be done with Orzammar and was actually excited to head to the tower and see the people she had grown up with. She couldn't wait to tell First Enchanter Irving all about her adventures so far. Then she heard a scared yell and turned to see Sten lifting one of the merchants off the ground. Sylina blinked and quickly headed over to the giant man.

"Where is my sword?" Sten asked the scared merchant who was dangling above the ground.

"S-s-sword, I-I don't have..." The merchant tried to explain.

"These are qunari blades, the blades of my comrades, where is mine?" Sten asked again, anger seeping through his voice.

Sylina reached the scene and put a hand up to try and calm the qunari. "Sten. Put the man down." She looked over to the stone doors and saw dwarven guards descending toward them. "Now," she said sternly. The giant looked at her, frowned, and dropped the man back to the ground. He fell with a crack and Sylina winced. She looked to the squirrely man on the ground and thought for a moment. She glanced up at Sten and saw his eyes flicker to the swords and back to the merchant. She sighed and filled her hand full of fire. She saw the merchant's eyes widen as she leaned down next to him, the flame pushed in his face. She decided that if Sten was so keen on asking this man for a sword she would help him.

"Now," she said, smiling sweetly at the man, "I suggest you answer the man's question so we can leave." She saw Sten give her a curious look before turning back to the merchant whose eyes did not leave the fire in Sylina's hand. She made it flicker and dance ever closer to the man.

"A-alright...I-uh-sold it. I didn't know the...thing...that owned it was still alive." His eyes barely danced to the giant man before going back to her flame.

Sten growled. "Who?"

"A-a dwarf, Dwyn, I think his name was. He lives in Redcliffe." The man was beside himself with terror and Sylina extinguished her flame just as the guards reached them.

"What is the commotion?" one of the guards asked.

Sylina stood up and turned to the guards smiling. "Nothing, ser. We are just leaving." She nodded to Sten and they turned and walked away from the merchant.

They had walked a ways when Sylina looked up at the giant. "So, care to tell me why I just threatened a man?"

Sten looked at her and then ahead. "I must go to Redcliffe."

Sylina rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I kinda figured. We will be going there, you know. After we go to the tower."

Sten nodded. "Then I shall wait." He started to quicken his stride, but Sylina jumped in front of him. The qunari blinked at her in surprise then frowned. "Why are you stopping?"

She shook her head. "You are ridiculous, you know that? Listen here, Sten," she began, "I want some answers. Why did I threaten that man? Why is this sword so important to you? Why did you say that the other swords that man had were your comrades'?" When the qunari did not immediately answer, but just looked at her, she scowled. "Out with it!"

He looked at her a moment longer and then she could have sworn that he almost sighed before stating: "I came to your land with seven of the Beresaad, my brothers, to seek answers about the Blight. We made our way across your countryside without incident, seeing nothing of this threat we were sent to find, until the night we camped by Lake Calenhad." The qunari paused and frowned. "They came from everywhere, the ground beneath our feet, the air above our heads. Our own shadows harbored the darkspawn. I saw the last of the creatures cut down...but it was too late. I fell." Sylina shivered. "I don't know how long I lay on the battlefield surrounded by my dead brethren, nor how the farmers found me, I only know that when I woke I was not among my brothers, and my sword was gone from my hand."

"What happened?" Sylina barely whispered, knowing full well what had happened. She knew the farmers had been killed by Sten's hand.

"I searched for my blade, and when I did not find it I asked my rescuers what had become of it...They said they found me with nothing. I knew they had no reason to lie. I knew they didn't have the blade. I panicked. Without thinking, I struck them down." Sylina looked down. She had known, but hearing it only made it worse. "That sword was made for my hand alone. I have carried it from the day I was sent into the Beresaad. I was to die wielding it. Even if I was to make it back to bring my report to the Arishok, I would be slain on sight. They would know me as soulless, a deserter. No soldier would cast aside his blade while he drew breath. My honor is forfeit."

Sylina looked up at her forlorn companion. He had always been quiet, never asking her questions or talking to her. Just killing, walking, and keeping watch. She sighed. "Then we will go get it. In Redcliffe. As soon as we get the mages to fulfill the treaty."

Sten nodded and Sylina moved so he could walk by her. She saw Alistair give her a curious look and she turned away from him. She had still not been able to bring herself to look at him, or Leliana, since the incident. Her hand reached up to the amulet she now wore boldly over her leathers around her neck. She had avoided him the last few days in Orzammar, and he had avoided her. Her fingers traced the templar insignia. She knew she had no right to feel...jealous of Leliana. She and Alistair had never even spoken of...those sorts of things. But...she had thought. She had hoped. She shook her head. No use dwelling on that. Perhaps when they went to the tower she could see Cullen. Talk to him about her adventures. Perhaps they could even be alone. She blushed at this thought and wondered if Cullen would even want to be alone with her. Perhaps he had moved on as well. Sylina felt bitter as they descended onto the Frostback Mountains.


	32. Chapter 32

"Oh, thank the Maker!" a woman said as she stumbled in front of Sylina's party. Sylina glanced at her. The woman's dress was torn and she looked terrified.

"What's wrong?" Alistair quickly asked, moving toward the woman. The party stopped and Sylina took a few steps towards Bodahn and his son Sandal, who had joined them a few days ago after they had left Orzammar. The man had been delighted to meet the Wardens again and told them he would be more than happy to travel with them while they went to the tower and that he was headed that way himself. Sylina had been able to convince him to put a few of their supplies in his cart for their protection on the road and everyone had been pleased with this.

"Stay here," she told the dwarves, who stopped their cattle. The older dwarf nodded to her and she saw Oghren jump down from the back of the cart and grab his battle axe.

"They attacked us! Please help! Follow me!" the woman turned and ran before Alistair could grab her arm.

"Stupid woman," she heard Oghren say and they all walked toward where the woman had fled.

"I don't like this," Leliana whispered as she came up to Sylina's side. Sylina glanced at the laysister before hurrying on. The last thing she wanted now was to talk to her. She had arranged the watch schedule the last few nights so that she was either on watch with Morrigan or Sten and didn't have to talk to Alistair or Leliana. She knew she was being childish, but she didn't want to deal with listening to the Orlesian talk about herself and Alistair. The thought made Sylina sick.

They came upon a clearing and Sylina saw overturned carts and dead cattle. She grabbed her staff and started focusing her mana, waiting for the attack. As they stepped into the valley she heard a crash and Sten say, "It is a trap." She saw a large tree fall behind them blocking off their exit and saw Leliana just roll out of the way. She turned to see people descending down from cliffs and arrows being fired at them. She also heard an angry male voice shout, "The Wardens die here!"

Sylina internally groaned at another attempt by Loghain to kill them and quickly cast fire on everyone's weapons. That would get rid of most of the people. Then she focused on the archers. She threw a fireball at three of them which knocked them down and, judging by their screams, put them out of commission. She turned her attention to the other cliff and, gathering her mana, she cast another fireball and as she saw one of the men break the rank and head toward her she cast frost, freezing him in place. An arrow hit the now frozen man between his eyes and Sylina turned her attention back to the battle. Her companions were making relatively quick work of the rest of the men and she started looking for injuries. She saw that Oghren had a nasty gash and before he could yell at her she cast a rejuvenate on him to help him heal.

"Wait! Don't kill him!" Leliana said, moving toward one of the unconscious men on the battlefield as Sten was about to pierce him with his great broadsword. Sylina glanced quizzically at the laysister and walked toward the man, which as she approached she saw was a blonde haired elf with a funny tattoo on his face. She wondered if he was Dalish. She had read that the Dalish tattooed their faces, though she had, of course, never seen them.

Sten merely grunted and moved away from the elf to look for other 'survivors.' Sylina made her way closer to the elf and Leliana looked up at her as she bent down next to the unconscious elf. "We should get answers," the laysister explained. "This was much better planned then the last attack. And perhaps he will know Loghain's next move."

Sylina shrugged and stood behind the woman as she woke up the elf. She saw Alistair walk up beside her and give her a look, but she ignored him, focusing her attention on the blonde-haired elf. When he started to stir, Leliana stood up and moved behind Sylina. She frowned and took a step toward the elf.

"Mmm...what?" the elf said, opening his eyes and blinking up at them. "I...oh." His eyes scanned the company and Sylina saw that Shale had stormed off to clear the path for the Bodahn. Sten and Oghren were still going around making sure none of the attackers decided to have a second wind. Alistair and Leliana were standing beside her and she saw Morrigan glancing curiously at them while she went through her pack a few feet away. "I rather thought I would wake up dead...or not wake up at all, as the case may be."

"We have questions," piped Leliana and Sylina scowled. Maker, why had she landed herself near the two people she was trying to avoid?!

The elf smiled and appeared to waken properly and become more cheery. "Huzzah, so I am to be interrogated? Ha. Let me save you some time. My name is Zevran. Zev to my friends. I am a member of the Antivan Crows, hired for the sole purpose of slaying any surviving Grey Wardens...which I have failed at, sadly." Sylina blinked at the openness of the elf.

"The Crows?" Leliana asked, glancing at Sylina. "They are an order of assassins out of Antiva. Powerful and renowned for always getting the job done..so to..."

"I know what the Crows are," Sylina snapped, glancing angrily at the laysister, "I was not born yesterday, Leliana! Go help Shale move the damn tree." A look of hurt crossed the red haired woman's face before she murmured something and went to go help.

"No need to get snappy," Alistair chided and Sylina rounded on him.

"I don't need your input, Alistair! I can handle this on my own, thank you very much!" She saw the hurt cross Alistair's face and it hurt her far more than it should have. He slunk away and she turned back to the assassin.

"So you are in charge?" Zevran asked, his eyebrow raising slightly as an amused grin spread over his face. Sylina sighed and ran her hand over her face.

"J-just tell me who hired you? I assume it was Loghain?" She wanted this to be done with and to get on their way. She was feeling worse and worse by the minute. She felt guilty for snapping at Leliana and Alistair. It wasn't their fault she was acting like a child...well it was, but they couldn't help it.

"Yes, I believe Loghain was his name. He was from the capital."

"Right. Well is there anything useful you can tell me?" Sylina asked and she glanced around. Now that they had kept the elf alive she wasn't sure what to do. Could they release him? She certainly wasn't going to kill him in cold blood. She glanced down at him. No, she couldn't kill a man who was tied and bound and…why in the Maker's name was he smiling at her like that? It made her feel worse, more guilty.

"I am afraid I was not privy to the secrets this man kept. Why he wanted you dead I do not know. I was contracted for a job – that I have failed. To this Loghain, and to my Crows, I should be dead..." He saw Sylina hesitate and bite her lip and his smile widened just slightly. "But if you are done with the interrogation, I may have a proposal for you. If you're of a mind."

She blinked at the assassin and glanced around. No one was paying them any attention and she saw Alistair was purposefully turning his back to her. She felt her stomach drop. She felt awful. She looked back and the elf and bent down. "Okay. What is it you want?" she asked quietly.

He chuckled. "Well, to live obviously. Here's the thing. I failed to kill you, so my life is forfeit. If you don't kill me, the Crows will. Thing is, I like living. And you, as a Warden, are one to give the Crows pause. So..." she hadn't thought it possible but his grin became wider. "Let me serve you, instead."

She frowned at him. "Let you serve me? Assassin, you just tried to kill me...and my companions. If I let you live you will only complete the job later. Do you think I don't know this?" She folded her arms and shook her head. She didn't want to kill him. Maker, she didn't. How many men's deaths were on her hands as it was? Killing darkspawn….that was different, they didn't feel. But killing humans? Even now she tried not to look at the elf's accomplices' bodies that surrounded him. She was not cut out for this.

Zevran's smile faltered and he looked at the ground. She saw him knit his eyebrows and when he looked up at her she saw him adopt a serious face. "Thing is, I was never given much of a choice regarding joining the Crows. They bought me on the slave market when I was a child. I think I've paid my worth back to them, plus tenfold. There is only one way out, however, and that is to sign up with someone they can't touch. Even if I did kill you, they would just kill me on principle for failing the first time. Honestly..." the elf looked at her with his large sad eyes and she felt her heart break before he hid his emotions again and smiled slightly. "I'd rather take my chances with you."

Sylina shook her head. She felt conflicted. On the one hand, she didn't want to kill the assassin. On the other, he was an assassin that had recently, as in the last ten minutes, tried to kill her. She sighed and looked back at him. He had a small hopeful smile. She groaned. "Even if I contemplated this, even if I did! What could you possibly do to help us? We are trying to stop a Blight!"

He chuckled and his levity was back. "Well, I  _am_  skilled at many things, from fighting to stealth. I can even pick locks," he said, wiggling his eyebrows. "I also know many of the Antivan Crows' tricks and I could warn you should they attempt something more...sophisticated...now that I have failed." Sylina bit her lip at that. Perhaps he could help them stay away from more assassination attempts. There had been far too many. "I could also stand around...look pretty...warm your bed, no?"

Sylina blushed and he grinned wider. She sighed and shook her head. Maker, what was wrong with her? Then she moved behind him and cut his ties with her magic. "Fine. But one sign of you turning on me and I'll feed you to Hesper."

The elf dusted himself off as he stood. "That would be the massive Mabari that took down my Second? Ha, yes, that would be bad." He turned to her and smiled. She noticed he was a hair taller than her. "I hereby pledge my oath of loyalty to you, until such a time as you choose to release me from it. I am your man, without reservation. This I swear." He bowed and Sylina couldn't help the small chuckle that escaped her lips. She sighed and motioned that they should walk towards the rest of the group. As they approached, Alistair turned and stared open mouthed at her.

"W-What is he doing? Why isn't he bound?" he stuttered, pointing at Zevran.

"He is joining us," Sylina said simply, not looking at Alistair.

"What!? You're taking the assassin with us now? You really think that is a good idea?" Alistair demanded as he walked closer to them. He didn't take his eyes off the elf as if expecting him to put a knife in Sylina's back at any moment.

Sylina glanced from Alistair to Zevran and frowned. "If you are so keen to kill him, then do so, Alistair," she said dryly and Alistair blinked at her before stepping back. "Otherwise, stop questioning my decisions!" she growled at him and marched toward the wagon.

"Heh heh," Oghren guffawed, walking up next to Alistair and watching Sylina retreat. "What'd you do to piss Flamefingers off so much?" Alistair glanced down at the dwarf and scowled.


	33. Chapter 33

This was getting ridiculous. Alistair knew that and yet he hadn't done anything about it. Maker, how he wanted to. Each day he would tell himself that he was going to tell Sylina what had happened, just to clear the air. And every day when he thought he had the chance she would run off to do something. It had been weeks now and they were almost to the Circle. She spent most of her time with Morrigan or Oghren. But what gritted him the most was when he caught her speaking to the assassin. He would make her giggle and blush and recently he had even begun to show her how to use a dagger. Alistair would see them 'practicing' away from camp. The elf's hands all over her, instructing her how to hold the blade and move with it. He ground his teeth as this was happening again that night at camp. There they were the elf's hand on her waist, whispering in her ear. He saw her blush and turn ever so slightly toward him. Alistair growled and turned back to the fire. Maker he wanted to hit that laughing elf, somewhere where it would hurt.

He heard a sigh and looked over. Leliana had plopped herself down next to him. "I don't get it. What did we do? She won't even look at me, let alone talk to me." Leliana looked up at him, frowning. She scratched her nug's head affectionately.

Alistair sighed. Sometimes he wished he could just let his feelings for Sylina go. Leliana had been close to him since Orzammar. But he couldn't see her that way. He liked the laysister, sure. But he knew he would never have feelings for her the way he did for Sylina. And that part made it worse. Because he hadn't told Leliana about what had happened. And, by all accounts, Leliana didn't remember a thing. He looked back into the fire and ran a hand through his hair. "She...well...I mean I'm not sure because she has that amulet on and everything...but..." That is what made the least sense to him. Here she had gone to great lengths to show off the amulet, the one her  _templar_ gave to her. Alistair felt his jaw twitch at the thought. And yet she still was obviously angry about the  _idea_ of him and Leliana together. The woman was stubborn if she didn't realize that meant something.

"The amulet?" Leliana asked. "I noticed her wearing it. It is a templar amulet, no? I assumed you gave it to her since I only saw her wearing it after Orzammar...and you two had become so close...I just assumed..."

Alistair gave a dry laugh and shook his head. "No. I didn't give her the amulet. Only templars who have undergone their vows get an amulet. So I never received one. She's been wearing it since I first met her." His eyes glanced up. Sylina was flushed and bending down to hug Hesper, the elf admiring her as she bent down. Alistair quickly looked back toward the fire, his anger rising. "Another templar gave it to her. From the tower. She told me after we...I mean after you..." He blushed and saw Leliana blink at him.

"After I what? What did I do...Oh no!" Leliana gasp and put her hand over her mouth. "Oh, Alistair. What did I do? Was it that night...Bhelen's coronation...Oh, Maker, I knew I drank too much!" Alistair saw that the laysister looked ashamed and was blushing. She wouldn't bring herself to look at him.

"It's...it's nothing. I mean, yes, you were drunk. And you came to my...room. But nothing happened I swear! I mean I wish Sylina hadn't seen...but she did and she thought...but nothing happened!" Alistair saw the laysister's face go white and her mouth fell open. He felt himself turn crimson.

"I...oh, Alistair. I'm so sorry. I knew. I mean...at least...I think I knew...that you...had feelings for her, yes? I can't believe I...Oh Alistair I'm so sorry." Leliana was shaking her head. "I'll...I'll go tell her, yes? That's what I will do. Then she won't be mad at us...or you...she may still be mad at me." Leliana stood up and before Alistair could stutter a response or to tell her no she was walking toward Sylina.

He watched in horror as the laysister approached Sylina and Zevran. His fellow Warden looked up at the red haired woman and her mouth clenched shut. She stood and he saw Leliana speaking and gesturing. He saw Sylina blush fervently and Zevran laugh and Leliana was pointing at him and shaking her head. He wanted the ground to swallow him up. Even the dog was looking at him. He was blushing furiously and he stood up and stormed away from the fire, hoping the night air would cool his face.

He had been walking into the trees when he heard rustling. He stopped dead. It wasn't darkspawn, but there were other worries beside darkspawn in this world.

"Ow," he heard a small voice say and couldn't help the smile that crept onto his face. Sylina appeared in front of him massaging her head. "Damn branch," she growled, blinking up at him.

He chuckled, but knew he was blushing. "Did it offend you, my lady?" he asked sarcastically.

Sylina sighed and put her hand down. "Alistair," she started, her voice serious. His grin vanished. "I-I'm sorry. I've been acting like a child." She looked down at her feet and he blinked at her. This was the first time in a week she had spoken to him. She was biting her lip and he felt his head get light.

"Um...I'm sorry. Can you repeat that? I think I'm hearing things," he said, his grin returning to his face.

She gave him a sharp look and batted his arm, but a small smile tugged at her mouth. "You will not hear it again you insufferable man!" she growled, her smile getting larger. He chuckled and feigned being hurt.

"Ow. You are so mean. You know that?"

She laughed and then looked at him and cast her eyes to the ground. "Why didn't you tell me?" she asked in a small voice.

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Well, I tried to...but I got distracted. And then..." He shrugged.

She shook her head and then looked up at him smiling shyly. "Friends?" she asked uncertainly.

He laughed and, despite himself, hugged her. He heard her squeak. She pulled back, but she was smiling, "Always," he said, grinning at her.

* * *

"So they lock their mages up in the middle of a lake and make it look like a giant phallus?" Morrigan asked, walking up beside Sylina. She looked across the lake at her old home. The tower.  _Has it always been so tall?_  she wondered. Then she looked towards Morrigan, who had raised her eyebrow.

"So...you're saying I was raised in a giant phallus...I can think of worse things," Sylina said, a slight smirk working its way onto her face. Zevran roared with laughter and Oghren guffawed. Sylina blushed and shook her head. Maker, it was time to get this visit over with. She headed down to the docks. Morrigan was still at her side.

"I would prefer to stay ashore. I am sure you can understand," the witch said, glancing at Sylina.

She nodded. "Yes, I understand." She turned to her group. "In fact, the boat is small. I think it would be better if I just take a few people over with me. It shouldn't take too long." She looked over her group and contemplated. She needed people who would help her convince the mages to join with the Wardens. She doubted it would take much convincing. Irving would be more than happy to help. The problem would likely be Greagoir. She groaned at the thought of the old templar. "Alistair, Leliana, and Sten," she decided. The qunari frowned at her.

"I do not trust mages," he stated.

She shook her head. "Well, you are following one, and you're big and scary so hopefully that will help." She nodded to the rest of them. "Stay here. Set up camp. If something happens I will send word." She bent down and hugged Hesper. "Stay here too, okay? Pets are not allowed in the tower." He whined and sat down. She smiled and hugged him again.

The four of them made their way down to the boat and Sylina saw that a templar stood on the dock. She frowned. She could have sworn that when she left with Duncan only one oarsman had steered the boat. She walked up to the templar and he turned to look at her. He looked young and she wasn't sure she knew who he was.

* * *

"I have strict orders not to let anyone pass!" the templar standing next to the dock said in a whiny voice. Sylina frowned at him and looked past to the small boat docked close by. Her eyes trailed to the tower across the lake – the tower she once called home. Now it looked cold and uninviting. She looked back at the templar. Clearly Greagoir had entrusted him with keeping people away because he likely didn't have any other skills. The man was young and acting rather childish for a templar tasked with killing mages at the drop of a hat.

She pinched the bridge of her nose.  _It is going to be a long day_. "I am a Grey Warden. And in case you haven't noticed, there is a Blight. I need to get to the tower to speak to First Enchanter Irving about mage support." She looked up at the templar, expecting him to move, maybe even apologize for being rude. Not that templars ever apologized.  _Except Cullen_ , a small voice in her head said. She found her hands reaching for the amulet. She wanted to see Cullen.

"Prove it," the man said smirking down at her. "Come on. Let's see some righteous Grey Wardening."

"Oh Maker," she heard Alistair say behind her as he smacked his forehead with his hand.

"Are all templars so..." Leliana began timidly.

"Dense?" Alistair asked, smirking at the laysister.

Sylina shook her head. "Listen. I am not here to entertain you. I need to get across to the tower."

"Well...how about we make a deal? You scratch my back, I scratch yours." He looked over Sylina's shoulder at Leliana. "How about you leave your pretty red haired friend with me? Gets mighty boring out here...I could...uh use the company."

"Me?" Leliana asked, eyes going round.

"Not a chance," Sylina growled, taking a step toward the man. She would never let a templar touch her companions. Never.

Sensing her anger, the templar stepped back and looked around worriedly. "Uh...well, I am feeling a bit peckish..."

Sylina put up her hand intending to intimidate the man with fire when Sten stepped up. "Parasharra. Here." He handed the templar a cloth with food wrapped inside.

"Oh...Cookies!" The annoying templar said, grabbing one and stuffing it in his mouth.

Sylina blinked and looked from the templar to Sten. "Cookies?" she asked raising an eyebrow.

"I am content to part with them if it will save us from this fool," Sten stated, frowning at the gorging templar.

"Okay, I'll take you now," the templar said, leading the way to the boat. She saw Alistair chuckling and she couldn't suppress the smile on her own face.


	34. Chapter 34

When they walked into the tower, Sylina's heart stopped. The antechamber was crowded with templars running around. She could feel fear and despair thick in the air as the templars looked toward the barred large double doors. She saw Greagoir standing in the middle of the room shouting orders to his men. Alistair came up beside her, looking toward the doors. "Are they keeping people out? Or in?" He glanced down at her and she felt fear wash over her. What had happened?

She walked up to Greagoir and he turned to scowl at her. "As if I didn't have enough problems," he said, glaring down at her. He crossed his arms and regarded her as she looked frantically about the room. She needed to know what was happening, but the words wouldn't come to her throat, try as she might. His eyes scanned her company. "A Grey Warden then and one that still lives, I see. Good."

Sylina blinked and looked up at the old Knight-Commander. "You're glad I'm not dead?" she asked incredulously.

He examined her, pursing his lips. "Perhaps." His eyes glanced back at the barred door. "Now, I am dealing with something that doesn't involve you, or the Grey Wardens."

"W-" Sylina gulped down air and tried again. "What's happened?"

Greagoir examined her with a critical eye and folded his arms. "The tower is no longer under our control. Abominations and demons stalk the halls." He pointed at her with his gauntleted hand. "First Jowan. Now this. Don't think I've forgotten what you did. We have been too complacent!"

Alistair shifted beside Sylina and she looked at the ground. She had never told him about Jowan. She had told him that Duncan merely recruited her because she wanted to go. She had never told him the circumstances in which it came up. "That's not important now," she said, looking back up at the commander. "Where is First Enchanter Irving?" She felt fear coil in her stomach. There were no mages in the antechamber, but surely they could not all be dead?

Greagoir frowned at her and sighed. "I don't know. I saw only demons, hunting templars and mages alike. I realized we would not defeat them and told my men to flee. Then we sealed the doors. We were prepared for one or two abominations, not the horde that fell upon us."

She couldn't believe it. She shook her head. Surely this was a nightmare. A horrible nightmare that she would wake up from any moment. She would go across the lake to the tower and find everything just the way she left it. She looked back up at the Commander. "What are you going to do?"

His tone turned cold. "There is only one thing to do. I have sent word to Denerim, calling for reinforcements and the Right of Annulment. Everything in the tower must be eliminated."

She felt sick. Her heart was pounding and she felt cold sweat break out. Annulment. A story told to frighten mages. Always the last resort. The idea. She blinked back tears and bit her lip. "No," she said, turning hardened green eyes back to the commander, "No, there are survivors. There must be." She took a step toward him. She was no longer thinking, no longer seeing him. She only saw the man who would murder her. The man who had called for her death so many years ago. "You believe mages are helpless. You think we would roll over and die. Make it easy for you. You know better than anyone that we are not defenseless!" She opened her palm to fire and the Knight-Commander narrowed his eyes.

"Sylina." Alistair stepped up beside her and put his hand on her shoulder. "The man is right. The mages are probably dead..."

"You don't know that!" she shouted, rounding on Alistair. "I will go in there. I will defend my home." She turned back to the templar. "I will defend those you would condemn."

The Knight-Commander sighed and she blinked. A moment of vulnerability? "These are not the mages you remember. If any still live the Maker himself has shielded them." He looked from her to the doors. "If you plan on going in there then you must remember that it is the innocent folk of Ferelden that matter now. No abominations can cross this threshold. Harden your heart, Warden." He nodded and spoke to two of his men about letting her through then he turned back to her. "Once you go inside, there is no turning back. The doors will remain barred until I have proof that it is safe. I will ONLY believe it is safe if First Enchanter Irving stands before me and tells me it is so." He raked a hand through his grey hair. "If Irving has fallen...then the Circle is lost and must be destroyed. You understand this Warden?"

Sylina nodded. She turned to Alistair who was staring at her like he had never seen her before. "If we are going in, I need you to go get everyone else...except Shale...and Hesper." She didn't want to endanger her dog with abominations and Shale wouldn't be able to ride the boat over to the tower. She knew what they faced. Any mage did. "Especially Morrigan."

Alistair frowned. "Aren't you coming with me?" He fiddled with a clasp on his armor.

"No. I am going to stay here. Go quickly and return." Alistair looked like he wanted to protest, but seeing her hard expression he stopped, nodded, and made for the doors.

* * *

"Maker watch over you all," Greagoir said and nodded to his men to open the doors. Sylina just stared at him. Her mouth was set in a grim line. When Alistair had returned she was making lyrium potions. She knew they would come in handy and the quartermaster had had some lyrium dust with him. Now they walked into oblivion. She felt her stomach clench. She was so afraid and yet so determined. She refused to believe that no mages survived. She refused to believe that her mentor, First Enchanter Irving, would be taken down so easily. She would find them. She would save them all.

They walked through the hallway of the apprentice quarters. Sylina stopped when she saw the first body. It was a boy. He looked like he couldn't have been more than ten years old. He had a slash across his body and she fought back the tears. She wondered if he had died by a demon's hand or a frightened templar's. She heard Morrigan scoff behind her. "Pathetic."

Sylina rounded on her, her eyes alight with fury. "You dare mock these mages?!" The group grew still and Morrigan looked at her, shock in her eyes for an instant before being shielded by indignation. Sylina felt Alistair and Leliana move beside her. Zevran raised an eyebrow and seemed to lounge against the wall.

Morrigan waved her hand around. "These are pathetic excuses for mages. They  _allow_  themselves to be corralled. Surely you see this?"

Sylina took a step toward the witch, gripping her staff. She felt fury replace the sadness. "I was one of these mages! You think it is easy?! You think they want this?! You think they have a choice?!" She took another step toward Morrigan and the witch took a step back, clearly thinking Sylina had gone insane. "What would you do if you had been caught? You think you would escape so easily? You think they would not be able to track you down, find you again, kill you?" Her staff touched the witch above the heart, drilling in every point. "These mages didn't have old abominations for mothers. Their mothers gave them up. Were they to escape, where would they go? Who would protect them? Count yourself lucky, Morrigan. But don't ever judge them. Never again!" She was inches from the witch. She saw the faintest flicker of fear in her eyes. Sylina shook her head. It wasn't worth it. She took a step back and pointed back toward the door they had gone through. "You want out? Go ahead. See how easy it is to leave when you are locked in here." She glared at Morrigan, but the woman made no instance to move. Sylina nodded and turned around. She saw her companions all looking at her incredulously, except Sten, who was frowning at her. "Come on. We have a tower to save." She said, leading the group through the halls. No one made a sound.

As Sylina walked down the rest of the hallway she avoided looking at the bodies. A part of her wanted to rush at every one and see if she knew them, but she was afraid she would. She was afraid that she wouldn't be able to keep going if she kept seeing the faces of those she knew around every corner. When she saw a templar body she froze for the briefest of seconds.  _No_ , she thought.  _No. I won't think about him. I can't. I have to get through this. At least Jowan is gone._ Though the thought helped a little, it didn't make her feel any more able to walk through this tower.

Around the bend, she heard voices and felt magic being cast. She grabbed her staff, prepared for friend or foe, and walked ahead. As they entered the room, Sylina saw several mages battling a demon. There were children huddled in the corner and in the center of the room, killing the demon, Wynne. When the creature had sunk back into the ground, Wynne turned to see them approaching. The old woman's eyes went wide at the sight of Sylina and she quickly scanned her company. "Sylina? What are you doing here? How did you get in?" Wynne was walking toward her.

Sylina smiled. She couldn't help it. She was so happy to see Wynne. So happy to see a mage alive. She recognized several of the other mages with Wynne including Petra. She smiled shyly at the older mage and saw Petra smile at her. "I can't believe you're alive!" she said, meeting Wynne halfway. "Greagoir was convinced everyone would be dead, but no I told him...I told him that some would live. Ignorant man." She saw Wynne give a shy smile.

"He is in a difficult position," the elder mage sighed. "So he thinks the Circle is beyond hope. And I assume he is preparing to invoke the Right?" Sylina nodded. "Then we do not have much time. We must find Irving. If anyone is able to survive what happened, it would be him." Sylina smiled at the confidence Wynne was showing. The same confidence she had felt when Greagoir had tried to tell her they were all dead. Because Irving was the strongest mage she knew. He would survive. He had to survive. Wynne pointed toward a magical barrier at the other end of the room. "I erected a barrier to protect the children. I will dispel it if you come with me to save the Circle."

Sylina smiled and walked up to Wynne. She held out her hand and the older mage clasped it. "Then we will save the Circle," she said, smiling confidently at her old teacher.

"Still confident then?" Wynne chuckled and shook her head. "Don't let it blind you, my young friend."

Sylina laughed. She grinned at the mage. "Still trying to lecture me? Save it until we find Irving, then you both can. It'll feel like old times." Wynne laughed and headed in the direction of the barrier.

Sylina headed towards the barrier when she felt a tug on her arm. She turned to see Petra looking at her. She smiled and raised her eyebrows at the mage. "Yes?"

Petra looked toward Wynne who was slightly out of earshot and said in a low voice. "Just look after her Sylina. Please."

Sylina's eyebrows furrowed. "Is something wrong?" She glanced toward the old mage, Wynne had always seemed invincible when Sylina had known her in the tower.

Petra bit her lip and glanced towards the older mage again. Finally, she turned her back ever so slightly to Wynne and whispered to Sylina. "When the attack happened I was running toward the library. A demon appeared. I thought I was going to die. I think I screamed…I was so afraid I couldn't cast. Next thing I know Wynne is there, shielding me from the demon. When the battle was over the demon was dead and...Wynne wasn't moving." Sylina glanced toward the moving old mage who was looking back curiously at them.

"Well she is alive...right?"

"When I reached her she stirred and coughed. I was just so afraid...she was gone. But I am worried she didn't come away totally unharmed."

Sylina smiled and patted Petra's arm. "I will take care of her." She knew fighting a demon wasn't something easy. At least not a demon that had a foothold outside the Fade. She would not lose a mage. She would not lose Wynne.

As they made their way up the tower Sylina felt despair in every step. More bodies, more demons – there was always more death awaiting them. She would have said it took only a few hours to reach the top of the tower, but it took them a full day to reach Irving's study. By the time they reached it, Sylina and her companions were exhausted. They cleared a space in the study, locked the door, and settled in. They gathered some of her old mentor's furniture that was already broken and started a fire. Sylina saw Morrigan try to make herself invisible in the small room and she sighed. She felt bad for snapping at the witch earlier. Morrigan had been helpful in several battles since then including one particularly nasty one with a demon and possessed templar. Though she refused to speak to anyone and wouldn't even look at Sylina or Wynne. Sylina sighed and shook her head. She got up and made her way over to the witch.

Morrigan glanced up at her and her mouth thinned. "Come to yell at me again?" Sylina almost smiled at the childish hurt the witch had in her voice.

"No," Sylina said, sitting down on the ground across from the witch. "I wanted to apologize for my tone earlier." She looked around the room. "You just don't seem to understand that these mages didn't have the same opportunities you had. And for some this is a better life than what they would have had outside the tower." Sylina had known a few elves who had spoken of life before the tower in an alienage and she suspected having a bed and regular meals was much better for them.

Morrigan looked at her. "But you did not want to be here either. Why do you not all revolt against your oppressors?"

Sylina laughed and Morrigan scowled at her. "Well that seems to have worked this time right?" Wynne had told her that the abominations were due to a senior enchanter named Uldred. Sylina remembered hearing about him. A nasty man. And he had done this with the intention of freeing the mages from Chantry control. "The truth is that many mages wish they could live outside the tower, but this –" she gestured around the room to indicate what they had been dealing with, "is not the way to do it. The only way to make people see that mages aren't dangerous is to prove it to them. By doing good. Not by doing evil."

Morrigan glanced around the room at their companions then back at Sylina. "It is such a...difficult idea to grasp. That mages would stay here. That some would like it here. But...perhaps you are right. Not every mage can be an apostate." The corners of her lips twitched. "But I think 'tis safe to say you would do fine."

Sylina smiled. "You honor me Morrigan."

The witch shook her head. "Now perhaps I could ask you something?" Sylina raised her eyebrows and the witch continued. "My mother was once divested of a particular grimoire by a most annoying templar hunter." Sylina smiled and Morrigan shook her head. "With your Circle in such a state, it may be a good time for me to recover the tome."

Sylina's brow furrowed. "What makes you think it is here?" She had certainly never been told of Flemeth's tome residing in the tower.

"Flemeth is a sorceress of legend. Her grimoire would be valuable, no? No doubt 'tis considered dangerous and locked away from prying apprentice eyes. Though, 'tis no harm in looking, surely."

Sylina thought for a moment. "No there is no harm in looking, but..." She looked at the witch. "If we find it I want something in return for giving it to you."

Morrigan's eyebrows rose. "My eternal gratitude is not enough? Fine, what do you want?"

Sylina smiled. "Teach me shapechanging."

Shock came over the witch's face. "You wish to learn to change your shape?" Sylina nodded and Morrigan looked like she was contemplating. "Then I shall teach you...should you find the tome."

Sylina grinned and got up. "Then we have a deal." She glanced around the room. "Now, I think it is safe to say the best place to start looking for a dangerous grimoire is in the First Enchanter's study, no?" Sylina chuckled slightly and went over to the nearest bookshelf, pulling books off and looking at the covers.

Morrigan glanced curiously at the younger mage and got up. "Why so many books anyway? Why does someone need so many? Surely he hasn't read them all."

Sylina laughed again. "Oh, I don't know. He is pretty old. It's possible." Sylina flipped through a tome that ended up being on helping plants grow and threw it onto the intact table behind her. "Do you know what the grimoire looks like?" Sylina asked as she put another book of healing arts next to the book on plants.

"It will be a black leather bound book, and it should have a tree etched into the cover." Morrigan told her as she scanned a pile of books on the table.

"Ah, are we stealing from the First Enchanter?" Zevran asked swaggering over to them, grinning.

"We are looking for a book." Sylina said matter-of-factly.

Zevran laughed. "Well that is less fun, no? Shouldn't the old man have more interesting things hidden than books?"

Sylina shook her head at the assassin. "Just help. It will make it go faster."

Zevran wiggled his eyebrows. "And what do  **I**  get if I do, my dear enchanting Warden?"

"How about I don't set you on fire," Morrigan said dryly.

Zevran laughed and started to help, occasionally leaning a little too close to Sylina as he grabbed books. She rolled her eyes, but let him get away with it. There was something about the assassin that was oddly comforting. At least he was true about his intent. Or at least, she thought he was.

Eventually they had exhausted one whole bookshelf to no avail. Wynne kept shooting their trio dirty looks, no doubt disapproving of them going through Irving's things.

"'Tis useless," Morrigan said, throwing up her hands. "Clearly if he has hidden it, it will not be sitting on a bookshelf." She walked over to the First Enchanter's desk and started rummaging through his drawers.

Sylina looked around and saw an unbroken chest in the corner. She walked over to it and found it locked. "Hey Zev, can you unlock this?" She turned to find the assassin surprisingly close to her.

"Yes, Warden?" he asked sultrily leaning in close to whisper. "Is there something you  _need_ of me?"

Sylina blushed and took a step away. "Open it."

The assassin chuckled and bent down to examine the chest. "It cannot be done," he said standing again and frowning.

"What? Why not?" Sylina said pouting slightly. If the book was anywhere it would clearly be in a locked chest.

"Here," Morrigan walked up and thrust a key in Sylina's hand.

She grinned and bent down to open the chest. There were a few supplies and some trinkets that Sylina could feel a faint hum of magic from, meaning they were enchanted. And at the bottom of the chest was a large black leather bound book. Sylina grinned and pulled it out, turning to look at the witch. "And a deal is made," she said, a sparkle in her eyes.

Morrigan gingerly took the grimoire from her as if expecting it to disappear at any moment. The witch glanced up at Sylina and the ghost of a smile crossed her lips. "A deal we have. Once we are out of this place I will begin teaching you." Then the witch abruptly walked away to the other side of the room.

Sylina grinned and she and Zev went back to the fireplace.


	35. Chapter 35

The sun's warmth felt wonderful as it shined down on her face. She closed her eyes and leaned back against the cool grass soaking up the sunlight. She smiled. Maker, it felt good to relax. Wait, why hadn't she been relaxing before?

"You look beautiful." Sylina opened her eyes and saw Cullen smiling down at her. He was seated next to her and she had almost forgotten he was there. Why had she forgotten he was there? Of course he was there. She smiled up at him and he smiled wider. His hand came up and touched her cheek gently. "I am glad you came back for me."

Sylina blinked and frowned. "Why would I not?"

He chuckled and leaned in, kissing her lightly. His hand stroked her face as he pulled back and looked into her eyes. He looked so happy, happier than she had ever seen him. "I just figured, you being a hero and all, that you would forget about me. Move on to bigger and better things." He frowned slightly and went to pull away, but Sylina caught his cheek, pulling him back toward her.

"I would never forget you," she whispered, pulling him back down and meeting his lips with eagerness. The kiss grew passionate and when Cullen's tongue flickered out across her bottom lip she opened for him, moaning softly. She heard him growl low in his throat, possessively, and a shudder ran through her.

His tongue explored her mouth and she writhed slightly against him heat pulsing down between her legs. One hand ran through his hair while the other slid down his back, feeling the flexing muscles. He lightly bit her lip and kissed up her jaw to her ear. His hand moved down to stroke her hipbone and she felt a need growing in her. She reached up to kiss him again and he pulled back, a teasing smile on his face and a mischievous glint in his eyes. His hand wandered down slowly pulling up the hem of her dress until his fingers ran across her thigh. She shivered and tried to kiss him again. This time he relented and he pushed her head back to the ground as he kissed her with fervor. His fingers trailed up the inside of her thigh and she thought surely a fire would start. She felt wetness pool between her legs and she opened them ever so slightly as his finger brushed against her small clothes. Sylina moaned into his mouth and he moved back a bit. His mouth inched up her jaw to her ear again.

"Hero," he whispered and she shivered from the heat of his breath. Sylina stopped and blinked as she felt as if she had been doused in cold water. Her hand came down from his hair and pushed slightly on his chest. He growled. "What?" He sat up and stared into her eyes.

Sylina sat up, confused. She glanced at Cullen, then around at the clearing they were in. The sun was still shining brightly and the clearing had the greenest grass she had ever seen. It had tall pine trees surrounding them and she couldn't quite see between the trunks. She looked quizzically back at Cullen. "How did I become a hero?" she asked, putting a hand on her forehead. She couldn't remember.

Cullen smirked at her – had Cullen ever smirked at her in her life? Was smirking in his nature? "You single-handedly defeated the Blight. I think that calls for celebration, don't you?" He pulled her back into her arms and covered her mouth with his. She squeaked in protest and shoved him off. A flash of anger crossed his eyes and Sylina couldn't help but wonder when Cullen had become so cocky.

She blinked, trying to collect her thoughts. She was a hero? When had that happened? "But...but I couldn't have defeated the Blight by myself. What about Alistair?" As thoughts of her fellow Warden filled her head she felt a pang of guilt. Maker, if the Blight was over...she had promised to help him rebuild the Wardens. What was she doing here, with Cullen? She should be with Alistair.

"Alistair," Cullen growled and Sylina looked up at him in surprise. Had she heard jealousy in his voice? Why would he be jealous of Alistair? "Is that who you think of when you are with me?" Cullen got up and strode across the clearing. She stared at him. What had gotten into him?

She shook her head and tried to think of the last time she saw Alistair. Maybe he had told her to go see Cullen. Surely he would have, if they had defeated the Blight? Sylina blinked and stared at her hands. Why in Andraste's name could she not remember anything? Something wasn't right. She glanced around. No, this wasn't right at all. She stood up, smoothed out her dress, and stared at the spirit Cullen. Now she remembered what had happened. Now she remembered the Sloth demon. "Stay away from me, spirit. I want nothing you have to offer."

The spirit Cullen chuckled and turned back towards her with a smile on his face. "Don't be foolish, Sylina. Can't you see it's me?" He took a step toward her.

Sylina put up her hands and fire danced between them. "I'm warning you."

"Oh, good. Seems I won't have to convince another they are in the Fade." Sylina turned quickly to see Morrigan, Sten, and Zevran coming toward her. Morrigan was smirking and had her staff out, while Zevran unsheathed his daggers. Sten frowned from her to the templar.

"Fool!" Cullen growled. "You could have been happy! I could have made you happy!" He suddenly wore his templar armor and his sword appeared in his hand. Sylina gasped as he ran toward her, but she was already prepared. The fireball took him down without effort and the dream Cullen disappeared showing a desire demon in its place.

Sylina shook her head. "Maker, what in the blazes happened?" She looked up at her companions.

"Well, if you recall, my fair Warden, we entered a room and were so handsomely greeted by a demon of Sloth?" Zevran smiled sweetly up at her and kicked the dead desire demon.

Morrigan tsked. "We need to defeat the demons in each person's dream. Then we will gain access to the Sloth demon." She turned her back and raised both hands in the air. Sylina saw the air tremble and then a door was visible. "Come. The next dreamer is through this door."

Sylina found out that Morrigan had been the first to realize she was in the Fade. "My mother trained me well. I would never fall prey to such a simple guise." Once Morrigan had killed the demon in her dream she had found Sten, who also was aware he was in the Fade. The two of them had then gone to Zevran's dream. Upon Zevran seeing them, the assassin had known he was dreaming and they had dispatched the demon.

"So that leaves...Wynne, Alistair, Oghren, and Leliana," Sylina said as they walked through what appeared to be Orzammar. "And I have a feeling this is where we will find Oghren." As they walked through Orzammar, Sylina saw that Tapsters seemed to be a bit lit up. "Over here." She made her way over to the tavern and pushed open the door.

The place looked much as she remembered it from the little she had seen on her trip to Orzammar. The barmaids were still walking around serving drinks and there was even the drunk man singing in the corner. Sylina looked around until she spotted Oghren sitting alone at a table in the corner downing a pint. She smiled and walked over to him, her companions in tow. "Hello Oghren." She beamed at the red bearded dwarf.

He looked up at her his face splitting into a grin. "Warden! Pull up a seat and join me for a drink."

Sylina shook her head and saw Morrigan push off a drunk dwarf who had tried to feel her up. She suppressed a giggle. "Come on Oghren. We ha-."

"Ugh, let's move to a different table. Don't want to sit too close to smelly, disgusting, fat Oghren," a dwarf woman said to the man sitting at the table next to Oghren. Sylina furrowed her brow and frowned at the couple.

Oghren's face turned a beet red and he shouted after the couple. "I don't smell, you little fart! And this is all muscle, baby! All muscle!" Oghren frowned and took a swig of his drink. Sylina felt a pang of pity. Was this a dream, or a nightmare, or perhaps this happened regularly to Oghren? She had, after all, seen the way the dwarves in Orzammar had treated him the few days they were there before they left.

"Let's go Ogh—"

"He's a disgrace to his caste," one of the patrons said, coming closer to the table. "A warrior forbidden to carry weapons!" The patron laughed cruelly and Sylina saw a crowd gather.

"Sod off!" Oghren said – though his heart wasn't in it. She saw the pain in his eyes as he drowned himself in his drink again.

"Aw, poor dwarf. No weapons huh?" Zevran said, smirking at the drunken dwarf. Sylina glared at him and Zev chuckled and shook his head.

"Who you going to fight now Oghren, baby nugs?" the same patron said eliciting laughs from around the room.

"Lay off him!" Sylina said pointing a finger at the dwarf. She could already tell this was the one in charge. This was the demon. He would only manifest himself this strongly if he feared Oghren was beginning to doubt.

"Oh, come on Warden. What's he going to do? Slosh me? Oh, no Oghren, don't get me wet," the demon said mockingly, pretending to be frightened. More laughter erupted, louder than last time. Sylina scowled and her hands exploded in fire.

"I said lay off, demon!" She attacked. Suddenly, a rage demon appeared before her and all the patrons appeared as skeletons. She heard Oghren give a shout and saw Zevran and Sten arm themselves. Sylina backed away and fired an ice spell at the burning demon. He came to a complete stop. She smiled to herself. Her magic was truly becoming more powerful by the day. She cast fire on her companions weapons and shot spirit bolts at any who came close. The battle was over when Oghren took his axe to the frozen demon, shattering it into a million pieces.

Oghren turned around to her, his eyes wide with shock. "Did...did you see that? Those weren't people. They weren't people! That's not right. Not right." Oghren walked over to a corner and threw up. Sylina shook her head in disgust.

"Come on. We are in the Fade and we have a demon to kill," Sylina said reassuringly.

"The Fade?" Oghren stared at her. "That's your dream place, ain't it? Heard of it...but it isn't natural for a dwarf to be here." He growled. "Sodding demon. Just point me in the right direction."

Sylina laughed. "Good to have you back Oghren." She turned to see that Morrigan had already made the door and the five of them walked through it.

They appeared back in Lothering. Sylina sighed and walked toward the Chantry. This would be Leliana surely. As they entered the Chantry, Sylina saw Leliana, wearing her priest robes, and the Revered Mother up toward the altar. She walked toward them and heard Leliana reciting the Chant of Light. The Revered Mother frowned at her party as they approached.

"Leliana?" Sylina asked. She knew that it was often best to at least try and get the dreamer to realize they were dreaming first. It would be dangerous to kill the Revered Mother without Leliana's support or the sister might attack them as well. And if Leliana died in the Fade...

Leliana's head shot up and she looked at Sylina. "Wha-" She looked from the Revered Mother to Sylina and her party. "Who are you? Why do you disturb my prayer?"

Sylina blinked at the sister and glanced back at her party. She saw Morrigan roll her eyes. Sylina turned back to the laysister. "Leliana, it's me, Sylina. Don't you remember me?"

"Do not disturb the girl's meditations," the Revered Mother said, glaring at Sylina.

"I do not know you," Leliana said, shaking her head. "I have never seen you before in my life."

Sylina heard Morrigan scoff in the background. "Leliana. We're friends...remember? You are helping me defeat the Blight." Sylina said in a calm voice and smiling warmly at the laysister. She still felt a bit embarrassed about thinking Alistair and Leliana had been together and she had been trying to make it up to both of them. She wasn't about to let Leliana become prey to a demon.

Leliana frowned. "There is something familiar about you...I feel..." Leliana looked past Sylina to the other party members. "I find myself trusting you. That sounds odd, doesn't it?"

Sylina smiled, but the Revered Mother cut in. "This is your home, Leliana, your refuge. You cannot truly desire to leave? Stay and know peace."

Leliana turned her frown on the Revered Mother and looked at her curiously. "I will know peace wherever I am. I carry the peace of the Chantry in my heart." She heard Morrigan groan.

"You cannot leave! I will not permit it!" The Revered Mother growled at Leliana, her voice becoming darker. Leliana backed up, her eyes wide.

"And now the demon shows itself," Sylina said viciously, pulling out her staff. She didn't give the Revered Mother a chance to attack. She and Morrigan brought the demon down with the combined might of their spells. Sylina's fire ball and Morrigan's lightning bolt to the heart. The hunger demon tripped back and fell into the ground of the Fade.

Leliana was staring at Sylina and the others. She was now dressed in her leathers and had her bow on her back. "Holy Maker." Leliana glanced back at where the Revered Mother/demon had been standing, "She...she...was a-" The laysister turned her large eyes back on Sylina.

Sylina smiled reassuringly. "She was a demon. We are in the Fade. We need to fight a bigger demon to get out of here." Leliana gulped and nodded and Sylina turned to see the others filing through a new door in the Fade.


	36. Chapter 36

Out of Lothering and back in the tower. Sylina sucked in air as she saw all the bodies littering the ground of the Fade tower floor. She felt despair pull at her and her heart clenched. She tried not to look at the bodies, but the corner of her eye caught several that she knew. She closed her eyes briefly and heard a faint prayer being recited from another room. She turned toward the noise and opened her eyes walking toward her old teacher.

Wynne was kneeling on the ground over the body of an elf boy Sylina had seen a few times when she had been an apprentice. The boy had lashes all over his body and his eyes were staring blankly at the ceiling. Sylina shivered and Wynne looked up at her. The old mage's eyes were clear, but she saw the utter hopelessness the mage was feeling. "I failed them." Wynne said softly turning back to the boy in her arms. "I failed them all."

Sylina bent down and touched the elder woman's shoulder, "You didn't fail them Wynne. We haven't failed yet. We can still save the tower."

Wynne looked up at Sylina and a spark of anger crossed her eyes. "How can you say such a thing? Do you not see the death around us? Do you not see what happened?" Wynne swept her arms around the room and then turned sharply to Sylina pushing her hand off her. "And where were you when this happened? How could you let this happen?"

"The old schoolmistress asks a lot of needless questions," Morrigan scowled from in the back of the room. Sylina saw that the witch was leaning against a pillar with an amused expression on her face.

"Your blatant disregard for the dead is utterly inappropriate!" Wynne shouted standing up and turning to the witch.

"Woah. Wynne calm down," Sylina said, putting her hands up and coming between the two mages. "Don't believe what you see."

"You are stronger than this Wynne, I know you are," Leliana said, coming to stand next to Sylina.

Wynne frowned at both of them.

Sylina put down her hands and approached the old mage cautiously. "Think about the last thing you remember, before all of this." She gestured around the room not daring to look at the bodies of her fellow mages.

Wynne put a hand to her temple. "What you think this will accomplish, I do not know. But I will try." The mage sighed and closed her eyes. "I entered the tower. There was so much death...but I don't remember any of them dying." Wynne opened her eyes and furrowed her brow looking at the bodies around her. "How do I not remember them dying?" The older mage shook her head. "I think I should leave here, for a little bit. Get some air."

Suddenly the body of the elven boy stood up. "Wynne, don't leave us." Several other bodies stood up and asked Wynne not to leave.

The white-haired mage's mouth opened and her eyes went wide. Sylina felt sickened and readied her staff. "Stay away, foul creatures!" Wynne shouted, her staff in hand as she aimed at the first dead mage to walk toward her.

Sylina watched as the elven boy transformed into a sloth demon and said in its deep voice: "Don't leave Wynne."

She cast a frost spell and felt her companions spring into action. There were many walking corpses coming to life around them, but she was confident her companions would dispatch them. Sylina, Morrigan, and Wynne focused their strength on the Sloth Demon. She recognized that it wasn't the same demon who had entrapped them. This demon was far weaker and likely helped his fellow Sloth Demon control this area of the Fade.

When the demon finally sank into the floor of the Fade Sylina turned to Wynne. The older mage's face was white and she was shaking. Wynne looked at her and shook her head. "Best forgotten," the mage said and straightened. Sylina smiled in spite of herself and nodded.

* * *

They were in a city. That much Sylina could see. She had never been to a city, other than Orzammar. And the dwarven kingdom built its city in a way where one could not see past the buildings in front of them. This city had many buildings and she could see the tops of hundreds of buildings each seeming to be taller than the last. But her eyes immediately went to a building not far from her group. This building was lit up in an eerie light.  _Alistair_ , she thought. Her fellow Grey Warden. She would never let him fall to demons.

She pushed the door to the building open and walked in. The first thing she noticed was that the inside of the house looked far larger than the outside permitted. She also noticed Alistair talking to a young woman and smiling brightly. Her heart skipped a beat and she forcibly reminded herself that Alistair could speak to  _whomever_  he wanted. After all, her dream had been far worse than talking. She blushed at the thought.

Alistair turned when he saw them approaching. "Sylina! I was just talking about you." He grinned widely at her and gestured to the woman next to him. "This is my sister, Goldanna." Sylina gaped at the woman. Alistair had never told her he had a sister. She peered back at her fellow Grey Warden. What else hadn't he told her? "We're one big happy family, isn't it great?"

"I might throw up," Morrigan muttered.

"Ah, his dream is so happy," Leliana said. "But I never knew he had a sister, did you?"

Sylina shook her head and saw Leliana frown out of the corner of her eye.

"I am overjoyed to have my baby brother back. I'll never let him out of my sight again!" the demon Goldanna said, smiling toothily at the group.

"Oh joy, and I was thinking we would reason with the demon," Zevran said dryly, his hand resting on his daggers as he leaned against the doorway to what appeared to be a dining room.

"Alistair," Sylina said calmly. She could see that this would not be easy. Alistiar was more deeply enthralled than her other companions had been. He had been here too long under the influence of his 'sister'. "She isn't your sister."

He frowned at her. "What are you talking about? Of course she is. Oh, and she has children," he said as a small child ran past them followed by a large dog, "lots of children. There are probably a lot running around somewhere." Sylina groaned. So the demon had servants – that would make the fight more difficult. "I'm so proud of her. Look at all she's done, while I was off fighting, no doubt bound to end up dead in a pit somewhere...alone." His eyes clouded for a brief moment before he was again smiling back at her.

Sylina felt her heart pinch and she put a hand on Alistair's arm. "You would not die alone Alistair, but we must get back to fighting the Blight. You know this."

Alistair shook his head. "No. I don't want to go back. I don't want to end up like that." He looked down at her hand. "Why don't you stay here too?" he asked suddenly beaming at her.

"We may not be able to reason with him," Wynne cautioned, her staff in her hands. Sylina saw Morrigan and Sten preparing for battle.

"If we don't he might attack," Sylina whispered.

Alistair stared at them frowning slightly. "You're acting awfully strange. You know what. I bet you're hungry." He turned to Goldanna, grinning. "They can stay for dinner, right?" He glanced back at Sylina briefly. "Goldanna makes the best mince pie. You'll love it."

"Well, I wouldn't turn down pie," Oghren grunted from the back of the group.

"See! We'll all be happy." Alistair was grinning at them.

"Parasharra," Sten said, pushing himself through the group. Alistair frowned as Sten approached him and the giant acted so quickly Sylina didn't have time to cast. Sten pulled out his greatsword and hit Alistair in the head with the pommel. "Now we fight the demon," he said calmly as Alistair fell to the floor, unconscious.

"No!" Goldanna shouted suddenly changing and her voice becoming deeper. "You'll never take him from us!" Where the woman had been now stood a Pride demon. The most powerful and largest of the demons. The one that Sylina had seen in her Harrowing. Perhaps even the one who had warned her. She would never know.

She jumped back and Sten swung at the demon. But Pride would not be undone so easily. An army of servants, skeletons, descended from the stairs. Oghren had his battle axe out and swung at three of them as they approached. Sylina focused her energy on Pride. His purple eyes burned into hers as she tried to freeze him in place. The spell did nothing but cause a slight chill.

She saw Morrigan throw a fire ball at the demon, but Pride deflected it with its huge arms and the fireball went whirling in another direction. Sylina stepped back. She put her staff over her head and remembered a tome she read so many months ago, before her Harrowing, before becoming a Grey Warden, when she never thought she would need it in her life.

The air around her cooled as she called on her mana. "Stay back!" she shouted and she saw Sten move away from Pride. She glared at the demon and it approached her.

The elements were collecting and her hands felt numb. But she could do this. She knew she could. As the demon took another step she let her fury unleash. The storm raged around the demon. Ice and wind. The temperature dropped dramatically and the demon froze in its path, its purple eyes still burning into hers. She grinned and pulled the spell off. "Sten," she said simply, and the giant swung his sword and pierced the frozen statue of the demon, shattering it into a million pieces. The battle with the skeletons was still going on, but many of them were now running upon seeing that their master had fallen. When the last of them had fallen, Sylina stared at the spot the Pride demon had stood and shook her head.

She heard a groan and looked down to see Alistair stirring.

"Ow, my head. Why'd you do that?" He looked up at his companions and his eyes slowly cleared. "Oh." He blushed and stood up. "Well, um...perhaps we can pretend that that didn't happen? Maybe?"

Morrigan sneered at him and Zev gave a small chuckle.

Sylina smiled and walked up to Alistair. She gently put her hands on either side of his head and looked into his hazel eyes. She sent healing magic to his throbbing head and he never looked away from her.

"It was a powerful demon, Alistair, don't worry about it." She backed away and saw him lean ever so slightly in her direction before shaking his head and taking a step back.

"Right, well. Let's just move on then. Um...wherever that is." Alistair was blushing and refused to meet anyone's eyes. Sylina hid another smile and nodded to Morrigan who opened a door in the Fade.

* * *

Sylina looked down at the demon, now dead, at her feet. She shook her head and turned to look at her companions as they picked themselves off of the Tower floor. "Is anyone hurt?" she asked, giving them a quick once-over. They all seemed to be in one piece.

She heard some grumbles that sounded like 'no's and turned to look at the door on the far side of the chamber. They were close to the Harrowing chamber. Only two more floors. She felt a small shiver at the thought of returning to that room. She heard rustling on the ground and looked to see Morrigan sifting through the pockets of a male mage, dead on the ground a few feet from the Sloth Demon.

"What are you doing?!" Sylina asked sharply. She remembered Alistair and Leliana looking through dead bodies in Dust Town for coins, but she wasn't about to let Morrigan defile the bodies of her fellow mages. As she stalked forward, Morrigan got up and Sylina glanced at the body. She stood still and willed herself to look away, to not recognize the face of the body. She couldn't stop now, she couldn't mourn him now. Mourning would have to wait.

"Bah, he was in the Fade. I spoke to him before finding you," Morrigan held out a piece of parchment. "He mentioned that this might help us."

Sylina reached out and took the paper gently. It looked rather old and the edges were worn. She skimmed the words. She could read very little of it, but she could tell it was a spell.

"The Litany of Adralla," Wynne said, coming up to them and reading over Sylina's shoulder. "Why did Niall have…?" Wynne paused. "Blood magic. The Litany protects from mind control by blood magic."

Alistair groaned not far away and Sylina heard him whisper, "By Andraste, blood magic! As if our day couldn't get any worse."

Sylina glanced at Morrigan who was wearing a haughty look and held out the parchment to her. "Can you read this?"

Morrigan nodded and gently took the Litany back and rolled it up.

"Good. When we find Uldred I will need you to perform the spell. We don't know what we are walking into and it's possible he will be using blood magic."

She figured 'possible' wasn't the right word. More likely than not the mage was foolish enough to use blood magic. She saw shock flicker through the dark haired witch's eyes and then they darted to Wynne and back to Sylina. Sylina smiled, knowing that Morrigan was wondering why she hadn't given the spell to Wynne to perform. The truth was that she wanted to trust Morrigan, and she needed Morrigan to know that. Especially if she was going to be learning new, potentially dangerous, magic from her.

"Of course, Warden," Morrigan said respectfully, though the corner of her mouth twitched slightly.

They made their way to the other end of the room and out into the corridor. Sylina knew little about this part of the tower, as it was off limits to all apprentices, so she let Wynne lead them.

As they made their way down the hall, Sylina thought she heard some scratches coming from up ahead in one of the rooms. When they approached she heard squeaks and rustling like something big was being dragged around. She turned to look at Wynne, her brow furrowed. It didn't sound like demons or mages, they were not usually so loud. The noises sounded almost...animal.

"What are you mages holding up here?" Oghren asked as they neared the door. "Sounds like a bleeding bronto."

The sounds were definitely coming from the room and as near as Sylina could tell something big was behind the door. She pulled out her staff and raised an eyebrow at Wynne who shook her head. Clearly the senior enchanter didn't know what was behind the door either. The group approached more quietly.

"We don't have to go in there, do we?" Alistair asked as they drew up to the door. Sylina heard the sound of furniture being ripped in half and a loud roar muffled by the door. They were other noises. Quite a few squeaks. Almost as if an army of children were running around the room. Except Sylina doubted they would be so lucky.

"We have to clear out the tower, remember?" Sylina said - though she regretted it immediately. She heard more shuffling as if the creatures inside had heard her and were now headed toward the door.

They reached the entrance and Sylina heard one of the creatures throw themselves at it and the door shook on its hinges.

"Um...Zev?" she asked, looking at the blonde assassin. He  _was_  the quickest after all, and if he could open the door maybe she could blast the things quickly.

"Mmm," Zev said coming to stand next to her and eye the door skeptically. She heard another bang as one of the creatures flung itself against the wood.

"Okay, you open the door and I'll...freeze something."

Zev chuckled and moved toward the door. He glanced back at her as he reached the knob and she nodded. The rest of their companions were making a small semi-circle around her and both Wynne and Morrigan were preparing spells. Sylina concentrated on her ice spell. It would slow whatever would burst out of that door. She heard Leliana nock in an arrow and Alistair's blade come out of its sheath.

Zev nodded back and pushed the door open. The first thing Sylina saw was a black mass that ran out the door. It made a small growl but she was already projecting frost out of her hands and couldn't see the rest of the creatures clearly as they spewed out the door. She took a step back to allow Alistair and Sten to jump into the fray, being careful not to accidentally freeze them. She felt Wynne casting spells to increase the warriors' resistance to cold and Morrigan cast a hex on the creatures.

She heard many of the creatures falling and Zev's laughter which told her the battle was going well from beyond her plane of vision. She only hoped the cold was slowing them down enough for the others to kill them. Then she heard a roar. She had forgotten that there was something obviously larger than the small creatures she felt moving about.

"What th-" Alistair said as she released her spell. The constant cold spell was draining her and she needed to see the enemy to determine which spell to use next.

Through the door and the pile of bodies Sylina saw the roaring animal. She immediately recognized it, though shock told her it couldn't be possible. A drake. A male dragon. How in the Maker's name had it gotten up here? In the tower. On one of the top floors.

She shook her head to concentrate and saw the three warriors leap into the room. Leliana sent an arrow at the Drake's head and it roared, twisting its head around to see the men running toward it.

From what Sylina could make out, the Drake had fought off several demons and shades whose bodies littered the floor. Likely it had been defending its brood from them and hadn't had time to see the humans kill the dragonlings.

The Drake was quick to realize what had happened and growled as it tried to grab Oghren. The dwarf managed to use the momentum to sink his axe into one of the Drake's legs. Sylina mustered another cold spell and sent it flying at the creature. The male dragon slowed and Sten sunk his greatsword into its flank.

In moments the Drake wailed and collapsed onto the ground. Overpowered by the combined might of the warriors and spells launched at it. Sylina stared at the powerful creature before she heard the distinct grunt of pain. She looked up to see Wynne kneeling over Oghren and casting a healing spell despite the dwarf's protests. The red-bearded dwarf got up moments later grumbling about women and always needing to meddle.

"How did these creatures get up here?" Leliana asked, coming up to Sylina.

Sylina glanced at the laysister and shook her head. "I didn't know about them. Did you, Wynne?" She looked over at her old teacher who was now examining the dead Drake.

"I never heard about it. Though I dare say it's possible that some mage got it in their head to run experiments on dragon's blood." She got up and scowled. "Foolish. And I can't see how the templars allowed this."

Sylina frowned. She wondered how excited she would have been as an apprentice if she had heard there were dragons in the tower. Now she was just glad they were dead instead of her, or one of her companions.


End file.
